A Contagious Smile Podcast
"A Contagious Smile" is a transformative platform embracing special needs families and domestic violence survivors. We illuminate the journeys of extraordinary individuals who've triumphed over adversity and aspire to ignite your own inner light. Through candid stories, we showcase how they conquered challenges and emerged stronger. Our podcast features insightful interviews with experts, offering resources that empower and uplift. Let us guide you in rediscovering your inner light – because every smile narrates a tale of resilience. It's time to share your story and rekindle your spirit.
A Contagious Smile Podcast
Reflections and Revelations: Navigating Memorial Day Memories, Societal Challenges, and Family Fortitude with Humor and Honesty
As we kick off our latest podcast episode, Michael and I take you on a heartfelt journey, blending humor and sobering reality from our Memorial Day reflections. We swap tales of our cherished downtime and quirky traditions, like our laugh-fest over the addictive fries at Zaxby's and the playful quips that sprinkle our conversations. But it's not all fun and games; we also open up about the serious issue of school shootings and gun safety, sharing our personal insights on the challenges and frustrations that come with confronting such complex societal problems.
Prepare to be enveloped in the warmth of family as we explore the support systems that get us through life's toughest moments. From the raw emotions of dealing with medical adversities to the laughter that emerges in the face of hardship, our stories are a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. We're candid about everything from confronting pain without medication, to the powerful act of forgiveness within family dynamics, revealing what it truly means to stand by each other through thick and thin.
Wrapping up, we venture into the often-reluctant world of medical procedures, finding humor in the unease of colonoscopies, and examining the long-term effects of physical trauma with an honesty that's both refreshing and enlightening. In a lighter vein, we compare our voices, reflecting on the charming quirks and unique dynamics that make our relationship truly one of a kind, ensuring that whether we're delving into deep discussions or sharing a hearty laugh, you're right there with us, savoring every moment. Join us for this episode – an eclectic blend of love, real talk, and a dash of humor.
Good evening, happy Memorial Day and weekend. Actually Welcome to another Unstoppable with a Contagious Smile. My amazing soulmationship partner, Michael, is here. Howdy y'all. And we are taking a break as we have been purging through our home Is that what you call it. That's what most people call it.
Speaker 3:Most people say spring cleaning.
Speaker 1:Well, we're not most people. That's for sure. We're not most people, so I'm so thrilled you have a day off tomorrow. That's so nice. You have a pretty big week coming up this week too, Don't you?
Speaker 3:I was just thinking about all the naps I could take tomorrow negatory memory uh, what well, it's memorial day, so it's time to relax. What? Yes, relax what? Look at all this work I've accomplished today. Are you on drugs? I've moved everything from this pile to another pile.
Speaker 1:That's not thinking progressive steps in the right direction. You have a big week coming up this week. Okay.
Speaker 3:What you got going on.
Speaker 1:You tell me, I don't rightly know I'm in the dark. What you doing this week on Friday no, you're not, You're off, that's right. I'm off. It was a very short work week.
Speaker 3:So why am I off?
Speaker 1:Because it's your and something else big is happening that day.
Speaker 3:Really, oh, you're getting hitched again.
Speaker 1:I'm getting hitched again. Yes, aren't you getting hitched again? Yes, hitched again. Yes, aren't you getting?
Speaker 3:hitched again.
Speaker 1:Yes, don't sound so excited, you know, I have to say I look at you and all of a sudden I'm like damn, I want my crack fries. Now, before anybody says anything about what is a crack fry, let me just be specific, and I I told this to zaxby's and my husband will have to put his two cents in here. You go to Zaxby's, they have these loaded fries and I don't even eat the fries. Let's call a spade a spade. I don't eat the fries. It's chicken, cheese, bacon and ranch. And I asked them when I went I was do you sprinkle crack or something on this? Because these are sick. They're so good it's not even fun, do you agree?
Speaker 3:Yes, but I think sick went out in like the 80s.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm old, not as old as you but, I'm old. You said I was getting hitched. You didn't get all excited, you were getting hitched.
Speaker 3:I'm doub hitched. You didn't get all excited you were getting hitched. Oh, I'm doubly excited.
Speaker 1:Why are you doubly excited?
Speaker 3:Because I'm getting married to the love of my life. For like the third time, fourth time in a row, for which time? 34. What I'm getting old. I can't remember.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh.
Speaker 3:They call me Mr Craft.
Speaker 1:I have no idea. So my husband's trying to be sweet Ladies, let me just give you the 411 on this one. So last night he's all being sweet and I call him Stucco when he does that because it's like you know, here and there's all these ladies know how that works with our man and he makes a comment that he will love me until his very last breath.
Speaker 1:And I'm'm like, oh, my god so. And I'm thinking, wow, he really is trying to be all lovey-dovey, sweet, what's gotten into him? Babe comes in with this, eat shit and grin on her face and I'm like, what's going on, faith? And she goes. Don't let him fool you. That was the line in the movie we just watched for our movie night. What she totally called you out. She always busts you. But I was just like, was that? And he tried to avoid me and I was like, uh, excuse me, sir, was that a line in the movie? Uh, I don't write in the note, ma'am.
Speaker 3:It was.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:We just finished watching Dune Part 2.
Speaker 1:And I was just like for a moment, I was like aww, and then I was like ugh, because men try to get away with some shady shit. That's all I'm gonna say.
Speaker 3:Uh, huh, yeah so yes, I got a birthday coming up, I got a wedding coming up and we are purging the house. So yes, this has been a busy weekend. Yeah, I've had my old man nap.
Speaker 1:And I made you your favorite dessert. We got some.
Speaker 3:Nanner pudding.
Speaker 1:What.
Speaker 3:Nanner pudding.
Speaker 1:Oh, is this going to be our redneck word of the show? No, nanner.
Speaker 3:Redneck word of the day is Allure, allure, allure. Right, do y'all know what a lure is?
Speaker 1:A lure means to bring you inward, to bring you towards me.
Speaker 3:A lure.
Speaker 1:To bring you towards me.
Speaker 3:However you pronounce it and see this in your mind, it's a lure.
Speaker 1:So to bring you towards me. It's a fishing lure, what Everybody knows what a lure is Nobody knows what half your language is. We need to make a dictionary of your language.
Speaker 3:I told you, buddy, I already did that.
Speaker 1:You might be a redneck if he was so nice. When we met Jeff Foxworthy was incredible. He loved faith. Who doesn't?
Speaker 3:All your celebrities you've met have been great so far. Right, I'll plead the fifth. Any of them been a-holes. I plead the fifth. Okay, I almost don't know about it. I plead the fifth. Oh, I might recall one, yeah.
Speaker 1:We had some great people, oh, my goodness, some absolutely phenomenal people.
Speaker 3:Phenomenal people, and we had maybe one or two that was like so I meet a lot of folks out there on the road because I'm a roadie doing my day job and these people have this you know a similar story. You know they've been in X relationship with X monster and they do come on our show. So y'all have a hankering to tell your story. Come on our show. A what Hankering.
Speaker 1:Hankering. What's a hankering?
Speaker 3:You got a hankering. You need to get it out.
Speaker 1:Like a handkerchief, no.
Speaker 3:A hankering. You need to get it out like a handkerchief. No, a contagious smile dot com should be a contact us at the bottom of the page with our email handkerchief handkerchief is that what? That is, you ever turn off your phone during our show yes, it is off, it just has this like text.
Speaker 1:But because I'm deaf, it does that really bright light and it makes that little go. I'm not falling for that. It makes that little bright light thing. Hey. So let's talk about this for a minute.
Speaker 1:Every time I turn around, I'm telling you about another teenager or kid who is doing like the most violent, violent stuff. It's crazy, crazy, crazy. Like uh, I don't remember what state it was in, but the boy who literally just turned 13 and his mom had a weak old little girl in the room with her and the baby was asleep and he went in there and stabbed his mom 46 times. I mean that's crazy and the family is rallying saying he doesn't deserve to go to jail for it. Does that little girl deserve to grow up without a mom? I mean to grow up without a mom. I mean it's crazy. Now I want you to think about this for a second In 2023, last year and this comes from the K-12 Violence Project is where this came from there was 346 shootings, but only 195 schools. So you have 195 days in school, 346 shootings. This year in 2024, and you're talking about January now and you have spring break there's already been 133.
Speaker 3:That's crazy.
Speaker 1:That's ridiculous.
Speaker 3:All this state lottery money goes into schools. Supposedly we know that there's security measures in place. You know I visited some of the elementary schools not too long ago and you know I've seen the gate you have to code in the. You know the cameras there the metal detector, the school resource officer there.
Speaker 1:Some of them run.
Speaker 3:Maybe one you know and you drive by any high school and you'll see you know one to two. Uh squad cars out front are parked somewhere near the front uh they're school resource officers and you know I don't know what they're doing.
Speaker 3:I was never a school resource officer uh, I never was a cop that did part-time at a school, so I don't know what goes on there. I cannot speak on their behalf or, you know, against them, but apparently whatever we're doing is not enough, or the system that they have in place is just inadequate. Because the kids are still getting guns inside the school. They're either walking in with them in their clothes on their body, or it's on their person, somehow somewhere somehow yes but and also suicides and teens are going through the roof too.
Speaker 1:There's been over a thousand already this year and they're saying that the reason that the kids are committing more gun-related suicides is the ability to access them, that you know they're able to reach up and grab one. I don't know about you, but like growing up, both biological and grandparents always had a gun. I was, you know. My grandparents had a very stern conversation with me about, you know, guns don't kill people. People kill people and no matter what the gun has on it, the safety is your finger. That's the safety I mean you're talking about in the 80s, and I never tried to pick it up, I never tried to look at any of them or, you know whatever, even though I really wanted to, and little did I know back then I would be a gun nut like I am now but I think it's about also educating our kids and telling them somebody broke into our home.
Speaker 1:It's our responsibility as your parent to protect the family. You know I mean somebody comes into our home. It's our responsibility as your parent to protect the family. I mean somebody comes into our home and tries to do bodily harm on us. We have the right to defend ourselves.
Speaker 3:I've always believed. Somebody breaks into a home, they come to rape, steal and kill. Those are the three things. So, yes, those are the three things. So yes, I wonder what the statistics were back in, like 1850s, 1860s, 1888, where most citizens open, carried firearms and they were taught at a young age to you know, respect firearms and uh wonder what the? Suicide rate was back then with a firearm I don't rightly know, sir.
Speaker 1:I know you can go to walmart or whatever, and that's your picture out everybody's carrying. But like now, you go to walmart, there's stabbings and shootings and stuff all the time.
Speaker 3:Don't forget these big amusement parks.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, that's crazy. It's like where can you go? That's safe anymore. Right. Where can you go?
Speaker 3:I want to take my family out to a park, right, maybe that's going to be the next thing, I don't know. I was a cop at one of the local malls where we live. We had about eight officers at the mall at any given time. There's hundreds of teenagers at the mall, and that mall wasn't one of the biggest. The parents drop them off and they're there all day. It's a big babysitter, so the kids are going to try to get away with whatever they can. I'm glad I came home not ever having to shoot a kid.
Speaker 1:I remember that would be hard.
Speaker 3:I remember that would be hard.
Speaker 1:I remember that you asked me to go watch that Tupac movie with you because you guys were doing the security for it and we were watching from a different room because everybody thought Vinyl was just going to come out in that movie and that was way back when.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I don't recall all that. Thank you for being my my six I always got your six.
Speaker 1:I always get your six, always, always, always. I just don't understand. I mean you can't go anywhere anymore and feel like it's a safety thing. I mean what really shocked us is when faith was in the hospital. They even have a code. We don't want to say what it is because it might give stuff away where it's for aggressive, violent parents. Now I understand if there's like a conflict on, like you know, custody things or whatever, but you can't even be in a kid's hospital. I mean where can you go, literally? Where can you go and feel, okay, it's safe, I'm safe where I am?
Speaker 3:that was true it's scary yeah, I think my wife's a little tired. She's been busting ass today.
Speaker 1:I haven't been sleeping.
Speaker 3:Y'all ought to see her. She picked up this huge box. It's one of the black containers.
Speaker 1:It's a 15,. No, it's a 60-gallon container.
Speaker 3:And she picked it up and I covered it out of the corner of my eye and she placed it on the ground. It was full and it registered that my wife has one arm. How the hell did she just pick this box up? It was full too, and it's at least two and a half feet long and it was full. It was full. Yes, I think they got that. Okay, so they now know you are amazing. I think they got that, okay, so they now know you are amazing.
Speaker 1:Well, I had just made banana pudding for you and it was frustrating because trying to open, like the vanilla extract, and I couldn't get the doggone top to come up and I'm trying to open it and I spill it everywhere. I'm like, okay, that's not going to go well for me, and then I take the Cool Whip and it gets on me and I'm like like this is ridiculous, like this is, this is. And then, like the condensed milk, I go to open it and I get that everywhere on my hands on the counter. I'm like I just clean this kid and it's just, it's very frustrating. And so I was like all right, that's it. So after the whole like been putting thing and I'm trying to clean and get all the stuff clean and organized, I was like, oh, my cookies, because I bake or cook when I get annoyed and frustrated. And so my husband woke up from his nap again and he had all sorts of treats you you want me to get faith I don't recall it's because you were unconscious.
Speaker 3:You want me to get faith. I don't recall it's because you were unconscious so speaking, so speaking of being an amputee. Get frustrated, it's very annoying then, then, why don't you just give up?
Speaker 1:because why don't you push?
Speaker 3:yourself when you, when you, when you cannot physically grab something with your left hand that you don't have. That. I don't have a left hand, right that you don't have, why not just get frustrated and give up, because that's not who I am Like.
Speaker 1:I was telling Michael earlier that I had such an amazing we're not going to say his name rapport with my limb and hand recovery specialist, with my limb and hand recovery specialist, and when I went to see him last he told me you know, victoria, I'm really concerned because you have this mindset that you still have two hands and two arms and you have this mindset that you can do things that you no longer can do, do things that you no longer can do, and you need to accept it, that you can't do more things than you can do. There is much more you are no longer able to do than there are things you can do. And I was like, look, I can tie my shoe by myself like a regular, everyday everybody's wearing.
Speaker 1:But seriously I can you've seen me do it? Tie my shoe one-handed yes.
Speaker 1:And he was like you know, that's fine, but there's so much more you're not capable of doing anymore and you're not letting that sink in, you're not accepting that. And I was like no, I'm not. But here's the thing. And he goes. You know, I know it's painful. And I looked at him and I said how the thing? And he goes. You know, I know it's painful. And I looked at him and I said how do you know? You have both hands. You know there's a difference. You get to go back into the OR.
Speaker 1:I don't get to just sign the way I used to and sign language and do all sorts of other things anymore. And and here's the thing and I said this to Dr Blank was that and my husband will be the first to say that every time I've had a surgery, regardless of what it is, I don't take any pain medication, right, not even a thing. I don't even get the scripts filled. I said don't write them because I'm not going to go get them. No, no, pain meds, no, nothing. Amputation, both jaws replaced with all these metal parts. And I don't do it. And I said to him if I can maintain a life of pain as I have, and I don't take pain meds, I don't go to pain management, I'm not followed by pain management, then I'm not the person that can be told, hey, you're not going to be able to do these things.
Speaker 1:I I mean I'll figure it out and I might injure myself along the way trying to find a way that makes it work. But giving up is no different than faith. Giving up with what?
Speaker 3:she just went through.
Speaker 1:How can I ask her to fight like she does and have, but then I don't myself when it comes to the same things?
Speaker 3:I'm still PO'd at a couple people.
Speaker 1:Without saying names.
Speaker 3:Yes, without saying names, and you know exactly where I'm going. We always wrong and I will not forgive you until you ask for forgiveness from fate and my wife. Y'all know who you are. When y'all told us to let her go when she was extremely sick, lying in that hospital bed fighting for her life with everything she has, then y'all told us to let her go. Y'all told us to give up. I don't hate you, but you come pretty damn close.
Speaker 3:Okay, we will never let our kids go. Okay, y'all listen. Y'all need to apologize tremendously to that little girl we never told her I know but we never told her who said those things.
Speaker 1:I mean, and what angered me is that those individuals weren't the ones that devoted their life to her. You know they don't know. It's no skin off their teeth to make that. You know they don't sit there day in and day out. You know, maybe it's better for her. You just need to let her go. And I'm sorry if you want to put that out there. Then there's also people. Oh, my foot just went to sleep.
Speaker 3:But they have both been in her life for many years. Yes oh, my foot just went to sleep but they have both been in her life for many years. Yes, yes, I don't even know how long.
Speaker 1:Yes, but then we have people who didn't even check on her at all.
Speaker 3:That's correct.
Speaker 1:That it was Christmastime and these are. I don't. I hate the term family members, because just because you have a DNA relation doesn't mean that you're a family.
Speaker 3:For those of y'all who did ask about Faith and who continue to ask. Thank y'all.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, thank you.
Speaker 3:I had a fellow, our next door neighbor, asked about her today and I haven't seen this guy in months and months. First thing out of his mouth was how's Faith? How's your daughter?
Speaker 1:Right, mutts. First thing out of his mouth was how's fake, how's your daughter right? But then we have people who are only related to us by dna, who, not only because it was christmas time, didn't even reach out to either one of us to say merry christmas or anything on the small chance that they didn't know what was going on, but they did.
Speaker 1:I mean plain devil's advocate. But they knew, all of them knew, and none of them even reached out to say a word. And I'm sorry, I know faith is is mine, uh, but she has never done any wrong to anyone. She has not deserved to have.
Speaker 1:That kid has fought through hell and a handbasket and back again and to have family if you want to call yourself that not even, and it's on both sides of our family, it's on both sides of the fence here, His and mine not reach see. Everybody's agree that you don't even go and reach out and check. I mean, what if it was you laying in that bed, Not you as in my husband, you as in that person, if you want to call it a person or people that didn't even reach out? I mean, how do you do that when you have children yourself? I just don't get it. I don't understand people's mindsets.
Speaker 3:I don't either. But I'm glad don't either. But I'm glad I have you, I'm glad I have her. We got two other knuckleheads over on the other side of the city and, oh, we got my dad, my stepmom, coming up for this wedding. We're going to try to get my dad on air.
Speaker 1:That's going to be so much fun. We are going to do a roast Michael. Oh, no, yes, we are, because it's already been talked about. We're doing a roast Michael podcast. It's going to be so much fun. It's going to be so much fun. It's gonna be so much fun. I'm looking forward to it. Hey, I had to hear some stories the last time your dad, who I really love, was on the phone with you and the similarities literally made me that's what you need instead of a diet pill or whatever listen to your in-laws.
Speaker 1:Talk about the similarities that they have in common on certain subjects. They're all sexual it's. It's really eye-opening and stomach turning. I mean seriously, I don't want to imagine I look at him like a dad, you know, and it's just. That's all I got right now y'all stay tuned, it's coming well, we air it and then we put it out a different a week or two what are you going to do this time?
Speaker 1:during our ceremony. You always do something. How about you just be really super sweet on this one? I'll be super sweet, but don't be like you pulled over at the waterfall. Don't do that to me again.
Speaker 3:That was not okay, what happened at the waterfall?
Speaker 1:so we're getting our kids sure again, which we do every year and all of a sudden we have the same wonderful lady who does it. She's amazing. And so we're at this beautiful waterfall and we're about to exchange vows and one of the years prior to that, my husband. We decided we were going to write our own vows. So I wrote beautiful vows as a writer and my husband goes I love you, it's about time. And I'm looking at him like okay. And he goes oh, that love you, it's about time. And I'm looking at him like okay, and he goes oh, that's it.
Speaker 1:That's it what? Those are my vows. Did you write them in crayon, like that, was it? So we're at the waterfall and I'm like what's he going to pull this year? Because every time something else and he all of a sudden reaches the waterfall. And I'm like what's he going to pull this year? Because every time something else and he all of a sudden reaches in his ass pocket for his cell phone. And I go, are you kidding me right now? And I'm thinking, whatever it is, that phone is going to learn to swim because I'm tossing it into the waterfall. And he's like I'm sorry, I'm not going to do this. I'm sorry, just wait one second. I apologize and I am literally dumbfounded. And then I see that my husband wrote his vows on the phone so he wouldn't forget them. But I don't think I'm doing the story justice because you played it out big time.
Speaker 3:Both of y'all's face was like you know, no. Faith was like I can't believe this mother. No, I didn't curse me. No, you didn't.
Speaker 1:But the expression was Faith said Dad, you're going swimming, I mean seriously, you're going swimming, I mean seriously you're going swimming.
Speaker 3:It was hilarious.
Speaker 1:I have had people ask what makes us click and what makes us work so well together. How would you respond to that?
Speaker 3:So I go back to the beginning. In the beginning I did a lot of whoring around.
Speaker 1:I didn't say it.
Speaker 3:And having done that to another wife, with my current wife I had to get all those skeletons out of the closet.
Speaker 3:So I sat before my lovely red-headed vixen right here in front of me that I look in her eyes every time we do a podcast and just open my soul to her about every little thing, and that tremendously helped our relationship, because there's absolutely nothing hiding under my bed, in the closet, in the backseat of the trunk of the caddy you know, out in the tool shed. There's nothing there that she doesn't know about. And we even have a book that we wrote all our passwords, all our logins for everything. We have, every site, every little detail. It's in there and any one of us can access either at any time.
Speaker 3:And we freely hand each other our phones and say here so that helped tremendously. Now the other side is we click side. Is we just we we click? When, when I tell my wife that, um, babe, I was looking at this red broom today with a yellow handle and I really liked it. And you know, and she looks at me, said, babe, guess what I bought you today at the store, a red broom with a yellow handle, it's just, it's just that kind of connection, uh, that makes us click so much, you know perfect example is the water bottle the water bottle how I did that to you the swimming, no, no the
Speaker 3:water bottle I just gave you when I showed you so I mentioned to my wife that it's getting hot and I need to start drinking lots of water. I I said I need to get me a good thermos bottle, big that holds good water, and I'm cheap. So I come home and she says no, you're frugal.
Speaker 1:And she says here Money's tight.
Speaker 3:Open a box up and guess what y'all? It's a water bottle. It's purple. Okay, I'm secure in my manhood and it's nice. Water bottle it's purple. Okay, I'm scared of my manhood and it's, it's nice, it's lidded and spill proof and all that. And I was like this is great babe, but it feels only a little bigger. She looks at me already knowing, picks up another box hands it to me an enormous water bottle.
Speaker 3:Same type, same color, same thing, just enormous. I was like see, that's her. Because she already knew that the little one wouldn't be adequate for me. You know, I would appreciate it, she knew that. But she knew that I wanted something a little bit bigger. That just doesn't sound right, does it? No? Okay, let's move on.
Speaker 1:But what keeps us so good together? It's questions I get asked. Everybody loves our chemistry. Everybody loves our you know, the way we.
Speaker 3:Well, everybody needs to buy your books. We're tired of everything now.
Speaker 1:What makes us click so well together you?
Speaker 3:won't let me divert. I've done name like 18 things.
Speaker 1:Well, I'm answering questions that people ask.
Speaker 3:Okay, what makes us click?
Speaker 1:You answer, I just answered your turn. He's hot, it's like 80 degrees in here. I don't mean temperature, I mean like you're hot, whatever, whatever me, and you know the thing is is that people ask me a lot. You know you were the other woman and he's sitting right here. I didn't know. I was the other woman and he asked me a question the other day. Do you remember what it was? Which of the three was it?
Speaker 3:Oh yes.
Speaker 1:Was I naive? Go ahead.
Speaker 3:Let's see, I'm forgetting now. Oh, were you were you naive and just I forgot what. What did I say?
Speaker 1:Did I just not care? Was I naive? I don't remember the other one Cause I was so stunned by the question.
Speaker 3:Or did you know and didn't want to admit it?
Speaker 1:Right, and what do you think the answer was? Um well, as you pointed out, I was exceptionally good at lying and covered my tracks, so well, yes, but you know, what people don't realize is that, like I, traveled from work.
Speaker 1:we lived very far apart geographically. I worked days, you worked nights. You would call me every day asking to see me at night. Come up and see me, come up and see you, come and see me. You were staying at my apartment, like so I didn't understand. There was no idea that you had someone else because you stayed with me all the time. You had stuff at my place, like you know, I spent three nights with you in one of your apartments and you know you took me to see the house that you bought. Before you bought the house, like a year and a half before that, we went looking at places together to move in together. You know, and I can name the exact places. Each one was Okay. So what's the point here? Because people asked how did you live with being the other woman?
Speaker 3:I didn't know I was you know they asked what makes y'all click together?
Speaker 1:the honesty that we have now is that you have to be, you know up front and there are things that we've talked about that weren't easy.
Speaker 1:We put them in a box and we said we're not touching them again. This box is going into the Pacific and it's never going to be reopened. There are things on both sides that are humiliating and embarrassing and we don't want to talk about it. So we've cleared the air and my husband will remember we were in the booth. I'm hopeful that some of it will be done, but you know that's, it's part of being 50. You'll be there. I got a while to get there Soon.
Speaker 1:No, hey, you know what, though? I'll take it over the alternative. You've been at death's door that many times you know, okay, I'm sorry. I'm going to put this out there as a trigger warning. My husband's here to support me through this, so let me just put this out here. So I want to give a little support to the women here for a minute. I get such an honor to meet the most amazing women. I hate them, in fact. My husband, what is that? That's nasty. Um, bob, I just totally lost my train.
Speaker 3:You want to give support to the women.
Speaker 1:I want to give support to the women because it is incredibly hard and my husband and I have talked about this. I had to go this week to this female doctor, and that is if you've been been abused, if you've been sexually abused. It is a very hard thing to do. Um, you know, a lot of people say you can't be raped by your spouse. I don't know, babe, if you've ever heard that, but people do say you can't be raped by your spouse, which is absolute bullshit, because you absolutely can, and I went.
Speaker 1:This is probably my very, very least favorite thing medically to be involved in and do is to go and get this schmear done and all women have it or should have it done, and I go in there and I have a phenomenal female doctor, luckily, and of course, while I'm doing this, faith is in the waiting area and text my husband a prank of some really buff dude in scrubs and said this is who is diving into mom, which.
Speaker 1:I didn't know about at the time. Anyway, so I'm in there and they say, okay, well, we got to do this test, you got to lay down, we're going to check everything. Blah, blah, blah. This is a very hard thing for me to do, so it's not just because I'm vulnerable, but I'm laying on this table. There's three people in the room and they're like okay, and they tell me we see all your scars and we're talking about intimately this is a big trigger. I'm putting a trigger warning on it.
Speaker 1:It's out there so, but you know I was stabbed a dozen times um. An attempt of cutting out faith was attempted.
Speaker 1:There are scars down there and there's internal scars and it's embarrassing and I laid on this table and I was ungodly, uncomfortable, and this wonderful woman tried, you know, she held my hand, she wiped my tears and she was like okay, we got to take a biopsy. And that's scary, I don't care who you are, what age you are, anything of that nature, we're gonna take a biopsy. I don't care who you are, what age you are, anything of that nature, we're going to take a biopsy. Well, they don't just do biopsies, unless they think for some reason there's a reason to, and so they took a biopsy of my uterus and we're waiting on the results.
Speaker 1:So I'm someone, if you know me, who cannot stand the unknown. I don't like it. I don't want, want it. I don't bring it to me, like for presents and stuff. I don't don't. I hate surprises. I don't want to know what they are, just give it to me and call it a day like my husband's already gotten the jewelry of his birthday gifts and his birthday's not even here.
Speaker 1:Yet I just did not the surprise person. So they're, you know, doing all of these tests and they're telling me oh, your pelvic bone's not in place.
Speaker 3:Nothing really we can do about that.
Speaker 1:Yes, there's a lot of scar tissue in here, oh my God. And then they start talking like, obviously, things were done with things that didn't involve body parts, and hearing it. You know it's a trigger. You don't plan on it to be, you don't want it to be. You know it's been a very long time and I'm sitting there and I don't want to be anywhere, but there I wouldn't let Faith be in the room I had her right outside the door in the waiting area, like five feet from me, literally, the doctor had a nurse watching make sure she was good, thank god.
Speaker 1:but it was tough because, first of all, to take it easier, uterus feels like ridiculous contractions, um, which is kind of like I did enough of that after several days of labor, um, and then they scrape in there, which is kind of not so cool, not so much fun.
Speaker 1:And then I called the duck bill that they put in there which is kind of not so cool not so much fun, and then I call it the duck bill that they put in there. You know, it's just like. I really want to be in over here, and so my husband is phenomenal. He's so supportive and loving and gracious, understanding. But women, that is just a trigger. It is you're not expecting it to be, I kind of wondered I have honestly kind of slacked off on my OB appointments because I really don't like feeling vulnerable sitting there and spread evil where people are like you know, I gave him my medical history, told him what was going on, but the actual words I heard back were we weren't expecting that, like we didn't think we'd see that kind of scarring.
Speaker 1:and that's really hard because, you know, obviously I haven't seen all my own scarring down there, but it's tough and I think women need to be more supportive in just doing something that we have to do routinely Years and years and years. Down the road you would think it's not going to be that bad, and it is.
Speaker 1:And then, on top, of it say, well, we have to check to see if there's anything cancerous in there, Makes it 10 times worse because of the I mean, you know, one of our- fears is if something happens, they get your baby taken care of. You know, one of our fears is, if something happens, make it your favorite state to take care of, Because you know there's so many things that have to be done a certain way for her to have great care that she deserves and needs.
Speaker 1:So I'm going to be quiet because my husband is in his loneliness phase. I don't want him to tell me what he's thinking, right?
Speaker 3:now.
Speaker 1:But if you are a woman and you've gone through this or you're about to go through this. Reach out to me. I'm happy to talk with you. I'm happy to help you in any way I can with this. It was a challenge, it was you know it was tough, it really was.
Speaker 1:It's you would think it got easier over time. This didn't. This was like and I don't know if it was mainly because they were such shock and awe. This was my first appointment as a patient with the this practice um, phenomenal people, but just like oh my god kind of reaction. So what are you thinking as you're looking at me? Like this I always look at you I know, but this way right now is a little so.
Speaker 3:I just want to say thank you for sharing that it was tough. It was hard. But you know what's harder? That thing that they're going to shove up my flesh crevice because I'm turning 50 and I have to have this thing called a colonoscopy. I've had one, it doesn't hurt.
Speaker 1:It's not bad. That's harder. I love you. That's harder.
Speaker 3:They lube you. That's what I just love to hear. You'll be twilighting Every day I wake up. I want to hear we're going to lube you up now, buddy.
Speaker 1:They will twilight you. That's what you have to say after what I just shared. I was vulnerable and open up and you're making it about you and your am cavity. Are you kidding my flesh crevice? Are you serious? You're going to make it about you when I'm trying to, like, give love, hope and support to women out there.
Speaker 3:I know it has to be done, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's right. Oh you, I mean literally, it's only like that long. Are you kidding me? That's right. I mean literally, it's only like that long, are you kidding me? That's one of her feet. Oh, it's eight inches and it's two. I love that, like seriously, it's not a big deal.
Speaker 3:I had a bronchoscopy and a colonoscopy at the same time and it's not that big of a deal. You know a lot of people.
Speaker 1:It is a big deal to me when that's an exit only okay. Okay, here's something a lot of people don't know when you have been strangled or choked, like I was, then the bone in your throat, your high road bone, is broken and your throat swells up often. So I would have to have my fruit stretched no kidding, no, whatever. So, um, I would have to go in and have this done, and so they would have to go in there and stretch it because I was choking on everything trying to eat. I would literally choke on my food. My throat would close up because of the damage, like if I get laryngitis it's 10 times longer because of the damage to my vocal cords. So having that done sucks, but literally to go in and have a colonoscopy, it really isn't. Take my place. I won absolutely. It hurts more to get the ivy put in your arm or your hand.
Speaker 1:And then they it has to have a pretty big catheter. They cut up the IV.
Speaker 3:Thanks.
Speaker 1:And then they just twangulate you and you're basically awake in the room. They put you on your side.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 1:They do. They put you on your side and you know I joked around, I was like you could have bought me dinner first, or you know whatever. Because I had a great gastroenterologist.
Speaker 3:Right, just go ahead and shave my ass while you're back there.
Speaker 1:They don't shave it, they don't shave it, but you do know that they are. But here's the one piece of suggestion Don't look at the equipment when you go into the room. What am I going?
Speaker 1:to do? Look at me in the eyes. Well, you can look at him in the eyes, or her, or you'll have him. You look, you just have to like don't look at the camera, because the thing I want to look at the camera no, well, you'll have a screen in front of you, you can watch. And they advance the tubing. A camera on it up, your and it just and, can I?
Speaker 3:say please and push it and push it, don't stop you have all that, jelly, don't Stop, you have all that jelly in your baby butt.
Speaker 1:You know what? Here's the thing. We bleed a week a month. We carry kids. Our bodies take on all new shapes.
Speaker 3:The only thing you guys have to do is gush of blood.
Speaker 1:You don't bleed. You don't bleed. It's about being a wussy. Listen All I'm saying.
Speaker 3:I need to have some guy talk on this.
Speaker 1:Women go through ten times more a month a year, whatever in comparison. All you got to do is lay down and get it up. The pooper super, that's it. That's it. Y'all complain like little whiny kids what happened? If it saves your life seriously, I mean give birth, oh wait, that's why women do it.
Speaker 3:You're made for that.
Speaker 1:But still.
Speaker 3:Was that a joke?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it was. It's not bad. Just don't look at the camera when you roll it in.
Speaker 3:Because it'll be on the side oh at the instrument that's going to be up there.
Speaker 1:It looks like this and the tip of it is a camera.
Speaker 3:The tip, just the tip.
Speaker 1:And you have a screen in front of you. At least one I did, and they just you know.
Speaker 3:Right, I wish y'all could sing.
Speaker 1:I mean, maybe they'll let me sing for you and then you'll be like what?
Speaker 3:No, no, no, I'll be singing. Oh yeah, I'll be singing oh yeah, I'll be singing.
Speaker 1:Oh, you can see, baby's got that no, I'll be singing.
Speaker 3:Salt and pepper, push it real good.
Speaker 1:I like that. Well, no, it's about like that.
Speaker 3:Nick, you got your finger in a one inch diameter. Okay, it's not like that. Well, no, it's about like that thick.
Speaker 1:You cut your finger in a one-inch diameter. Okay, it's not an inch, that's an inch, it's just good, okay. But Ah, there you are again. You remember how Faith got that NG tube pulled out? Oh, yes, and it was like long and and hard and it came right out it was not hard. It was pliable, Fine. Well, it's going to be, you know the thing to pull out of your butt.
Speaker 3:Okay, thanks, can we move on? But why not? There's that butt again.
Speaker 1:I'm here for you. You won't have to sit on a donut or anything afterwards. It's not like that, it's not bad.
Speaker 3:I already sit on a butt fishing in my van. I know.
Speaker 1:I got it for you.
Speaker 3:Butt cushions are great for us old guys With flat butts.
Speaker 1:This is not going to be a big deal. Seriously, do you complain when you have to cough? And they grab a hold down there too. Oh yeah, Are you kidding me? Every year, a woman has to have these duck bills open up and say oh, and they go in there and they scrape and whatever and they just cough you. Seriously, y'all need to have more respect for us women. We don't do more shit.
Speaker 3:On to the next subject.
Speaker 1:What would you like the subject to be, since your butt's out of whack about it?
Speaker 3:I don't really know, but let's end it here. But, this is the end thank y'all for listening to a contagious smile, unstoppable. Please, please, for the love of god, go on the website and click and buy facebook which one, the one about me? Why does it always gotta be about you and click and?
Speaker 1:buy Facebook? Which one? The one about me? Why does it always got to?
Speaker 3:be about you. Okay, tell me about the other one she's written. There's many. I'll tell you about the one. She's written about me.
Speaker 1:But you're not looking. Faith can't wait for you to get your clothes off. She's offered to help assist.
Speaker 3:No, no, what she would do. Her idea of lube would be Frank's hot sauce.
Speaker 1:Oh sis.
Speaker 3:Yeah, no, thank you.
Speaker 1:I'd do it for you.
Speaker 3:Love you.
Speaker 1:You won't let me do it. Look at that nice welt. Tell everybody about your wallet you got. That's super cool.
Speaker 3:My darling kid got me a wallet with her picture and my picture on there and it's in leather. It's engraved. That's my kid. I was going to sit here and do this, but I got caught up in the show Unstoppable. Victoria Curie, solomon, okay. With Michael Victoria Curie Solomon.
Speaker 1:I took ages with Michael hey, I did have somebody else ask about my singing and specko.
Speaker 3:You better not sing for somebody. Are you singing for somebody? You got a sexy 900 voice. Stop it. I do not you cackle like a witch. That's not nice. It is nice, I love it.
Speaker 1:I had someone say that they've heard something before about me singing and asked if I would ever sing the show. I was like what?
Speaker 3:If you do so, help me.
Speaker 1:Why.
Speaker 3:I will be right here listening to you.
Speaker 1:Why? Because I will get rid of all of our listeners.
Speaker 3:No, you sound great.
Speaker 1:I did not you sound like a little angel.
Speaker 3:Am I your Nora Jones? No.
Speaker 1:Thanks. You're my Victoria. Yeah, I know, but you think Nora Jones has a sexy voice. I love her voice, Okay.
Speaker 3:She sounds real good. Can you compare me to her? Yes, Wait is that a true question Maybe Is this another red dress fat joke thing. Does this dress make me?
Speaker 1:look fat? I never asked you that, ever.
Speaker 3:But bye y'all, you take us out thanks, guys, we'll talk to you later.
Speaker 1:Oh look, there's his butt.
