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A Contagious Smile Podcast
A Contagious Smile is a powerful platform dedicated to uplifting and empowering special needs families and survivors of domestic violence. Through heartfelt stories, we shine a light on the journeys of extraordinary individuals who have overcome unimaginable challenges. Their triumphs serve as a testament to resilience and strength, inspiring others to rediscover their own inner light. Each episode features candid interviews with survivors, advocates, and experts who provide valuable resources and insights to support those on their own paths to healing and empowerment. Join us as we celebrate the power of resilience, the beauty of shared stories, and the unstoppable spirit of those who turn adversity into hope. Let us guide you in rekindling your spirit, because every smile tells a story of courage and transformation.
A Contagious Smile Podcast
Shattered Innocence: The Dark Reality of Maternal Filicide TRIGGER WARNING
TRIGGER WARNING A chipped tooth and an unexpected laugh kick off a conversation that takes an intense turn as we explore the haunting case of maternal filicide in Atlanta. How should society respond to those convicted of harming children, and what are the implications for justice and rehabilitation? Through our discussions, we grapple with the emotions surrounding these tragic events and consider whether our legal system truly protects the most vulnerable among us.
From laughter, we transition into the poignant theme of family, examining the complexities of neglect and support in times of health crises. Personal stories highlight the loneliness that can accompany medical emergencies and the responsibilities that persist even when family bonds are strained. Yet, amidst tales of indifference, we find hope in compassionate families and communities that open their hearts and homes to those in need, cultivating a spirit of kindness and resilience that inspires.
Moreover, we offer a window into the intense world of domestic violence and law enforcement, where survival and vigilance intertwine. The harrowing experiences of overcoming abuse and supporting loved ones through trauma are shared, emphasizing the importance of empathy and unwavering support. As we navigate these narratives, we celebrate the strength found in connecting with others and the transformative power of storytelling in overcoming adversity and inspiring positive change.
Howdy y'all that just came out of nowhere. Go ahead and finish, sir.
Speaker 2:Welcome to another.
Speaker 1:Can you?
Speaker 2:talk. Welcome to another episode of Unstoppable.
Speaker 1:Unstoppable, unstoppable, unstoppable.
Speaker 2:Unstoppable, unstoppable With the lovely Vixen here. Lady Victoria, lady Victoria, lady Victoria and old Chippy Chippy, as my daughter called me. Hi y'all, I'm Michael and I chipped my tooth today and you know, I don't know. They're making fun of me.
Speaker 1:No, I didn't make fun of you. I didn't make fun of you. I didn't think anything of it. Really, yeah, really you said I have to see my daughter's face when you tell her because the two of you find any tiny little thing and go balls to the wall about it, and so this was going to be just huge for her, but I didn't say anything.
Speaker 2:She did. I smiled at her and she could not contain her hysteria she had a contagious. Right, okay, yes.
Speaker 1:So yeah.
Speaker 2:This morning, while I was eating breakfast on the way to work, I chipped my teeth. Isn't that something? Isn't that something?
Speaker 1:Isn't that something? Chip out the old one.
Speaker 2:Kids. Brush your teeth, listen to your parents, and that's going to be a topic for tonight. Parents and kids. Let's go.
Speaker 1:First and foremost, let's get real. We're going to put trigger announcements all over this. Trigger, trigger, trigger. Just be forewarned, I was just beside myself when, I learned that a woman in Atlanta was found guilty, which she should have been on all counts but knowing. Should have been on all counts but knowing the judicial system she's not going to serve any time. I mean, if she does, it'll be middle Like she's not going to. Okay, let's deal. So this is just really hard for me to say.
Speaker 2:Okay, let me say it.
Speaker 1:Okay, because it really makes me almost sick.
Speaker 2:This is the subject y'all. The woman put her two kids in the oven. And turned it on and turned it on.
Speaker 1:And said she came home and they were like that and she was calm, cool and collective and she said that she came home like that. She even freaking FaceTimed with her baby daddy, showing them, showing him the kids, and she's like look his brain's, like all over the place and oh my God, like I would give anything to have ten of these, like I'd have ten of our daughters in a New York minute, and this I can't put her in my category and say what goes and puts them in the oven and turns it on, turns it on the mentality of this.
Speaker 2:You know the monstrosity that lives within her, that is her.
Speaker 1:But she'll come up with some bullshit, oh whatever, and literally she's not going to serve any time. You know, the thing is that these kids are beautiful they were one and two, I believe have a life sentence of not living a life Like they've been killed, right? So I'm sorry. What if she gets? I don't know what her sentence is, but I assume guilty. Let's just say because of our judicial system she gets 10 years because she's out for a good time, right? 10 years is bullshit, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2:She's well taken care of.
Speaker 1:She gets three squares a day health insurance education a roof over her head.
Speaker 2:No bills to pay Right.
Speaker 1:And then what do these kids get? I mean, yes, they get the freedom of not being, you know, to this witch. But seriously, like I'm sorry, I'm getting more and more just about sentencing, because if you kill these beautiful kids, I don't think you should be able to like have a slap on the wrist and go about your day and, oh, you'll be out in 10 or maybe six good behavior and you can go back to your life.
Speaker 1:What about the kids like? What about the kids right like that? That girl and I'm so upset right now I can't think of her name who killed her daughter? Is it Casey? I can't think of her name, but she killed her kid and she went to jail and now she wants to have another one and it's okay, apparently, for her to have another one. If you are found guilty without a shadow of a doubt, hard core proof that you killed your kid and I know I'm gonna get a lot of shit for this, I know I am, but you know what, that's fine. Nobody's walked in my shoes. They don't know what I, as a mom, have been through to ensure that my child our daughter lived another day, right?
Speaker 1:I mean, I lived in that hospital bed with her every night, every day that she was. If you kill your kid, right, maybe trump will put me in the cabinet. You should not be able to have more children.
Speaker 1:you know. Tell me why certain states, if you're a pedophile, they chemically castrate you. I mean, is that going to stop you from pedophilia? No, is it going to slow you down, maybe, until you figure out another path to it. So how come you can get chemically castrated, but these bitches that are out there freaking killing their kids?
Speaker 2:It's the same concept.
Speaker 1:They need. You know we have to neuter and spay our pets, and they don't kill their offspring, so why do these hephalumps get to breed again after deciding to take the life of an individual that didn't ask to be here to be getaway?
Speaker 2:I don't understand something. Did the article say that the stove was found laying on top of the kids?
Speaker 1:The oven. It must have been like it was some kind. I don't understand it either. But yeah, the oven was on top of their head every Sunday, Friday the 13th. But it was a real, this really happened.
Speaker 2:They were placed in the oven. Yeah, the oven was turned on with heat.
Speaker 1:And they exploded. God, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2:The oven exploded.
Speaker 1:Yes, and they were fully alive when they went in. They weren't knocked unconscious, they weren't killed beforehand. They went in living and breathing, beautiful, gorgeous kids.
Speaker 2:And the other brother, saul. The mom did this.
Speaker 1:The oldest son, who they did not disclose his age or it didn't in the article I read actually saw it and had to testify against his mom.
Speaker 2:Saul mom put his letters.
Speaker 1:But he didn't know what to do. He was little. I mean, the mom at the time was 24. So he was a little boy. They said he was young, young, young. But he did see mom do this and, for you know, holy crap, he probably hid, you know, not knowing what else. He watched and saw it and he called 911. And you wonder what's wrong with this world. Like you have people who would give everything to have a child and they would treat that child like that angel and miracle that they are, then you have these morons who, literally, it's okay for them and they just like, oh you know, like Sarah Smith in South Carolina. Her boyfriend didn't want to date someone who had kids, so she put them all in the car and drove them over there, let the car go over a bridge and underwater and they dropped and she watched it and now they're going to give her early parole.
Speaker 1:Are you serious? Now she wants to marry some guy she met on some dating app, you know, whatever. And now more and more prisoners are getting access to tablets that they can get them. If they can somehow come up with $20 a month, then they get a tablet now $20 a month. Yeah, off the books. Right off the books. Right, if they can have 20 on the books.
Speaker 1:I know that on um 60 days in they were doing a show with fulton county which everybody knows that's the, the jail that unfortunately trump had to go into, and fulton county has all sorts of issues in atlanta, georgia. But the show 60 days in showed the males uh and the general pop, and they were authorized to get tablets if they had 20 a month? On their books. Then they get these tablets and then they have to turn back in when they need to be recharged or whatever, and they have access to wi-fi and all that crap.
Speaker 1:I mean, do we need to fluff their pillows too? It's jail. It's jail, you know. And they're like, oh, it's inhumane, and they're in a cage, and you know they, they're just treated horrifically. Well, what about the victims? What? About the people that they hurt, they killed, they made, they raped. You know what? If it was someone in your family or let's go further with someone you love, you wouldn't be upset that these individuals are in there. But why should they be able to get?
Speaker 1:on online dating, then they have all these people like when a serial killer goes into jail. Holy crap, all these people are offering marriage and children and congregational visits to these people and it's like are you serious? Put him in a hole, shut the door, slide the tray underneath and I'll see you and my great great grandkids come in there, find your corpse when they come in as a jailer, peace. Like seriously, can I wipe your ass for you too? Do you need two-ply toilet paper? This is bullshit.
Speaker 2:You are so loud.
Speaker 1:It pisses me off. These kids did nothing wrong. They didn't ask to be born.
Speaker 1:They come into this world and all they want is to be loved and the only thing you wanted to do is set it at 350. And, I'm sorry, put her ass in the chair. Don't give her lethal injection because it's inhumane. Well, fuck that. Sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I always put that. It's explicit, but I'm sorry, you know. Lethal injection, okay, million dollar question. If lethal injection is inhumane, what the shit is cooking your kids, what is it? Injection is inhumane. What the shit is cooking your kids, what is it? Is that inhumane? We were talking about it the other night.
Speaker 2:The punishment should fit the crime.
Speaker 1:But cooking your kids is not justifiable. And then lethal injection is inhumane. Really no, there's 17 states in the United States that do corporal punishment. Still you know you have a mom that cooked your kids. 17 states in the United States that do corporal punishment. Still you know you have a mom that cooked her kids. Go in the electric chair. Don't do the wet sponge on the head, so you know, it doesn't fry the hair.
Speaker 1:Do not put the blender over the eyes, because then it keeps the eyeballs in the eye socket. Don't give them anything to bow and bite down into so they don't split their tongue in half. Let them bite that bitch in half, but turn it on slow, just like anything else. Cook it a little bit. Cook a little bit more. Cook a little bit more. Hey, are you sweating? Let me throw some water your way while you're getting electrocuted. Let me make this as painful for you as you did for those two beautiful kids that did nothing wrong, that you decided to cook. For whatever the hell reason you malfunctioned for I'm sorry, I'm pissed, go ahead.
Speaker 2:You're not sorry.
Speaker 1:Go ahead. I'm just. That angers me. Nobody's speaking for those kids. I will, I'll speak for those kids.
Speaker 2:Y'all see why I love this woman.
Speaker 1:I'm pissed.
Speaker 2:She is awesome, I'm pissed. And you mothers out there, even fathers, I know y'all are in the same boat with her.
Speaker 1:I get slap all the time when I make strong stances. People write to me and say you are really harsh on some of your beliefs. I get that. People write me that it's okay, you have that right. You know what when that happens to them.
Speaker 2:I bet they don't. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And while we're on the subject, here's another one. So, as we've all stated numerous times when Faith was in the hospital, neither side of our plan, if you will, family. I don't think that works sometimes I will. You know, I made it very clear that and michael has said the same thing that we're very happy with the unity of what we have and with the headache and drama that we keep out. Right, I mean, it's ridiculous.
Speaker 2:So when these give me a word um I don't know, um I don't know, I don't know what to call them with these.
Speaker 1:I don't know what to call them. Go and do not reach out to one of the sweetest, if not the sweetest, because everybody out to one of the sweetest, if not the sweetest, because everybody thinks their kid is the sweetest. Most giving, loving, deserving individual who has fought her entire life to be on this planet has given her life to help others from the jump. She's always, always advocating for others. She's always talking to others, helping others, just being there for others. She has the most amazing spirit. Anyone who gets around her just falls in love with her instantly.
Speaker 1:And then these others we can't come up with a name like- this, that's what I'm gonna call them since that's what my husband came up with doesn't even reach out, not a text message, an email, a message on facebook uh, nothing. Not a phone call, not nothing. And knows that she, literally how many times we almost lose her dozens dozens. We were in complete organ failure um. She was on dialysis.
Speaker 2:You know we were at the point where I.
Speaker 1:We just had a doctor's appointment today and the doctor told her that you know I was ready to go and say, hey, whatever you need out of me, get it kidney, whatever, take it, let's go right now. And he was like your mom was out of it, let's go, because she was in complete organ failure. And they didn't so much as even reach out to see how she was doing. And let's not forget it was during the holidays, so it was over christmas, it was over new year's and not a word out of their mouth, any of them, not on either side how many of y'all can relate to that?
Speaker 1:But here's the million dollar question. Now some of them are getting much up there in age.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Who's going to take care of them? They don't think about that when they're being selfish and they treat others that way. But you know what If something happened to them?
Speaker 1:and we didn't reach out. Holy crap, you know, what's good for the goose is not good for their gander, because they're going to pitch a holy crap about why. Why, you know, I'm the, I'm the whoever in the family you're supposed to be there. Yada, yada, yada. Well, you know, be there. And yada, yada, yada. Well, you know what could you if one of them let's say whomever you're going to name them, because you can't. Whatever, who did who? Somebody else reached out and said you need to contact somebody else that individual didn't reach out themselves.
Speaker 1:They sent it through like snail mail messenger, right, and my husband and I were talking about this. If that person said to you not that we think any of them would apologize, I'm sorry, would you take it back? Knowing that this is going to happen again, would you take them back? Uh?
Speaker 2:no, they have.
Speaker 1:They have a long line of apologies but you yourself said you would never believe, yeah, that it would be authentic it won't be but they but you know, only only because they want something right, and we're talking about both sides of the family.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes we're not just talking about one side, but I don't know how you do that to kids. You know you could be pissed off, pissed on whatever, but when it comes to a kid, that's a whole different, that's a whole different game, right, that's a whole different situation. Why would you ever treat a child that way is beyond my understanding.
Speaker 2:I I can't grasp it uh, you're supposed to show love and kindness to your kids or grandkids, you know, and especially if they're going through a procedure or surgery, something that's traumatizing, that's scary, you know, reach out to them, just find out how they're doing, show them that you can show them uh, you know, some sympathy, some empathy yeah, but see, mine was like, oh, victoria's having another surgery.
Speaker 1:It was like, oh, it's wednesday, that she's on the table again. That was, you know, after 100 surgeries or at that point in time, like 70, that's kind of the mentality they had. Oh, she's having another surgery. Do you know what? You could die on that table? You know you, you could have all sorts of complications on that table. And to have that mentality it's like, oh, you know what you could die on that table. You know you, you could have all sorts of complications on that table. And to have that mentality it's like, oh, you know, I want to get up early. I want to get up early to take you to your surgery where they're like doing life threatening things or life altering things, but none of the surgeries were cosmetic or elective. You know, I don't want to get up that early. I'm not sacrificing my sleep, you know, and it's it's so irritating that somebody can be so selfish selfish, selfish selfish, selfish.
Speaker 1:I'm still pissed about the little kids that. It just is mind-boggling to me that you know you could take that road, that here you and I are. You know when something happens to someone who are happily help. What can we do? I mean, you know what was so sweet and I'm going to embarrass you for a minute.
Speaker 1:It's so sweet, as I've said this, so many times every Saturday night, michael and Faith have daddy and daughter movie night, and they've done it for years and I love it, love it, love it well we had to like put on our big girl and big boy pants this weekend, because wait, who's wearing what? You're wearing the skirt I'm wearing pants, okay, okay.
Speaker 1:So on saturday faith had like a friendly get together with some new friends and had like a dinner thing, and then they all except one came back over and they were watching movies and I watched, my husband and I looked at his face and now I'm also in the same boat but like this is their Saturday night. This is the very first movie night they've ever not had, and he even said to me I'm really missing it, like I guess I didn't realize how much that meant to me.
Speaker 1:I knew it meant a lot to me, but I didn't realize to what extent, until I didn't get to have a movie night with my kid and he was genuine, don't roll your eyes at me. You were genuinely like hurt, like you really, really, really, but it was for the happiness of our daughter, but the thing is that I watched my husband and it was just like such sadness because he missed a.
Speaker 1:My point is that you missed a movie night with her right A one hour, a two movie and you were devastated. And then you have these people we don't have a name for, who cook their kids Like it's just. I don't understand, I don't get it.
Speaker 2:We cannot understand that, that line of thinking.
Speaker 1:We're not there.
Speaker 2:We'll never be there.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:We have a heart, we have emotions, we have love, we have compassion. We will never be, there.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:I cannot think of what apocalyptic world we'd be living in for that to happen to us. It just won't happen ever. It's just she's got to be suicidal.
Speaker 1:Oh no, I bet you she's not. She's probably in there bitching and moaning about how this has ruined her life because she's in jail. It's not about the kids, I guarantee you. It's not about the kids, like you're talking about the school. Was she already sentenced? Yeah, I'm trying to remember what it was, but it wasn't like life without parole which it should have been, it which it should have been.
Speaker 1:It was stupid and she'll get on with behavior. But I'm trying to remember the kid who did the school shootings. He begged and begged and begged not to be put to death. Well, don't you think you dumbass that you should have thought about that before you took a gun to school and shot up people and you killed them and took their lives away. So why do you get to live and they don't?
Speaker 2:Right to live and they don't right.
Speaker 1:Right. I mean, let's just be real for a minute and I'm sorry. I'm you know what. I'm not sorry, I'm wound up because nobody else is taking a stance like this about it, and I have a voice and I will use it.
Speaker 1:And I'm telling you what when he sat there in court and begged, and begged, and begged, please don't kill me, please, don't kill me, please. And it's like when your ass got up and your ass went to school, it was all premeditated and you pulled out that gun. And you know what? I just watched where they are now putting bulletproof plates in backpacks so that kids can wear it on their back and oh, just the kevlar plate, the plate okay, and it can protect them Not the whole vest.
Speaker 1:No, it protects them from a bullet. It goes in where a laptop would go and to know that our kids are going to school with plates, body armor Right, and then you have these morons at home and you know what, before anybody says anything, and I get a lot of hate mail because I know it's coming. Let me tell you something right now, and if you've never listened to this show before I'm going to say it now.
Speaker 1:If you've listened to the show before. I apologize immensely, but I'm going to say this. I know for a fact. So many people say well, it's because they were abused when they were young, and I that all the time. Well, tune in to narco stare help. I'm gasping for air because myself and dana diaz, who are both survivors and thrivers both are published authors of recovering from all sorts of different abuse and you know what.
Speaker 1:There's a difference between leaning and using a crutch. I'm going to wait until my husband stops drinking his tea because I've had enough outright fluid dropped on me today. Faith dropped coffee on me by accident, twice Picking it up out of the cup holder, and I didn't want it to go on her, so I put my arm in front of her, to protect her Like a parent should.
Speaker 2:At least the car smells good but like a parent should.
Speaker 1:But what I'm saying is the simple fact that people use that crutch. Oh well, I was abused as a child and so that gives me the right to be abusive as a parent. Bullshit, that's all I'm gonna say about that. Because I grew up with narcissistic parents. My husband grew up you put the adjective there with what the same narcissistic model right?
Speaker 1:well, okay, and with that, we chose to break the cycle. We chose to raise our children correctly. We chose not to make them have to spend their entire adulthood recovering from their childhood. So this bullshit crutch that people send to me all the time, well, you're very judgmental, because they probably were abused as a child. Well, I was, and you don't see me doing it in return.
Speaker 1:Faith can come in here right now and say my mom has never raised her hand to me, my mom has never screamed at me, my mom has never yelled at me, never spanked me, and she is so polite and so sweet and has the best manners. And there are ways to do it, because I'm telling you what. What you might say in the heat of the moment will stay with them the rest of their life, and that is something you can't take back.
Speaker 1:And moment will stay with them the rest of their life, and that is something you can't take back and it's not okay, it's not. It's not okay. And you know what? Me raising my voice now, right now, is something I've never done to her. I mean, if she's downstairs, I'm upstairs. I might say Faith, I need you. That's when I raise my voice. Other than that I don't yell at this kid, and my husband can tell you I refuse. And I'm so cautious with what I say because I know what certain things feel like, like when somebody says to Faith, hey, if your mom doesn't come off the OR table, oh well, I mean, there is no freaking way, I would ever say that to her.
Speaker 1:There's no way, none, you know I don't make promises to her that I can't deliver. My husband doesn't make promises to her, he can't deliver. He's staring at me like I'm a turkey dinner on Thanksgiving. I don't understand it. Why are you staring at me? I always stare at you love. This is a whole new look.
Speaker 2:Whenever you get fired up, you're hotter than ever.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, I just think some people, you know how some people need to have a, you know, like a bumper on the front of the car, like a push bumper on the front of the car. Some people, you know, and I'm so anti-violence, but I'm not saying they need to have their head be in, because I would never say that about anybody but.
Speaker 1:I sure as shit would say lock them up, put them in solitary. You'd let them drive themselves crazy. Ask me if I care, because I'll tell you no trump. If you're listening, sir, I am ready to go help you in your cabinet, because if you are going to say seriously, like, are you kidding?
Speaker 2:you have these people no, I, I think, just like with these child molesters you know. I think that that they should get their junk ripped off by a machine Like a freaking bear trap or some type of animal trap. Just rip that, all their junk off.
Speaker 1:And he's saying that, and he's a man.
Speaker 2:Thank you for calling me a man. I always call you a man, I call you my man. But let the crown fit the punishment, let the punishment fit the crime.
Speaker 1:And now I have to do a major thing Throw her ass in the oven.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's inhumane.
Speaker 1:That's inhumane.
Speaker 2:Michael, why you got to say that.
Speaker 1:Right, that's crazy. Now we have to. I want to do a huge kudos because I was promised, promised, promised that my two new good friends are going to listen to this episode.
Speaker 1:So over the weekend we had like a garage sale and these two guys, they had to be. There's six late 60s nice, they had to be in the late 60s, oh my god. So he comes down and he's wearing a mickey mouse american flag shirt. Mickey mouse is the american flag, right? I tell him I love his shirt and immediately he just steps the job back, right, oh my God. And so my husband doesn't have the best gaydar, I'm sorry what. You don't have the best gaydar A gator. Gaytar.
Speaker 2:Gaydar. What's a gaydar?
Speaker 1:Where you know someone is of the homosexual or lesbian side. If you're part of the community, okay, you're probably right, I don't, you really don't. So they were talking and talking and talking. Oh my, they are amazing. They were so amazing. I was so thrilled just even being around them I don't want to say their names. I noticed you got a little close to you well, I I don't want to say their names because I begged them to come on and I them after they were literally just left, nowhere, just left.
Speaker 2:That is amazing.
Speaker 1:That's kudos to these guys. Now, these boys have their heads on right, they are working. I mean, one of them does have a little you know intellectual stuff going on, and he's got you know some needs that need to be met. Okay, I get it, but these guys are dedicated to these two and it is so welcoming to see that. So one of them is sitting beside me, the other is talking, and they're like oh, we need to get our dad here.
Speaker 1:He's 87. His dad here, he's 87. His dad did not look at himself so, but they came back later.
Speaker 2:He pulled up on a trike he came.
Speaker 1:He pulled up on a motorcycle with the trike wheel right that was awesome, okay, I was like you guys, and he was like oh, I just, I had.
Speaker 2:You're fabulous.
Speaker 1:They sat down with me, we were talking and I said I want to share your story, I want to shine a light on you Because how often? Do you see a man?
Speaker 1:yet alone, two men right, who took in not one but two and they're not related young men and nurtured them and took care of them and saved them. They saved them and when I told them that they had tears in their eyes Like it was the sweetest thing and he was like you're so sweet. So somehow or another Michael walks up and the one guy tells my husband that now I have three husbands and two are gay. And it was hilarious, it was so, I just had the best time with them.
Speaker 1:They were so great and they were telling all these stories and I was like you light up when you talk about your kids. And he said they are my kids, they're my great my, they're my kids. And it's beautiful because that's what we need more of in this world, that's what we need. And then they left.
Speaker 1:They came back with dad and the dad was hilarious, he couldn't believe that their sons, the son and son-in-law picked up a wife in a garage sale, you know, and I told him, I said you have a great son and a great son-in-law and I said what he's done he's like I don't know, I know that's what they're amazing and he's like I know. Then I said okay, well, you know and, and I gave them our card and I said please, please, please, stay in touch. They were amazing. I just want to give them a huge kudos because they went and did something they didn't have to do.
Speaker 1:And they've done it a thousand percent, and now they showed me pictures of the boys and kudos to them. So you know, I just wanted to say that because there are people out there who actually care.
Speaker 2:Right and don't don't throw their own kids in a in an oven, Never. Or in a lake, a river, whatever it was so good and and you know, we never know who we're going to meet out there when we tell them what we do and why we do it. You know we come across people all the time, even on my job. I meet approximately, I know, 50 people a week and I meet a lot of survivors out there. I meet a lot of folks who were trying to get into podcasting you.
Speaker 2:You know, you just never know, but we do give out our card a lot. You know, we want to hear y'all's stories. So if you have a story, come on our website and contact us.
Speaker 1:It's at the very bottom.
Speaker 2:Just contact us or the top right corner and let us hear from you. Come on our show sometime.
Speaker 1:Well for the amputees. I am a certified amputee coalition counselor. And all of these groups on Facebook and stuff for amputees in general, and I'm in a lot of them, but they're mostly all lay amputees, like you, very, very rarely see arm amputees, unless it is someone that was born without an arm or they had a traumatic accident, like it's very rare, and so one of the people we met told us that his son lost his two fingers his pinky and his ring finger.
Speaker 1:Um, on an accident with some heavy uh construction equipment and now he's angry. He's an alcoholic and nobody is out there helping him and he just has a very short temper and he's real quick to get violent and it all happened after the and so I told him. I said well, this is what I do we use our voice. So my husband's gonna say I guarantee it. He's gonna say, of course you do. So I went and created another group and it's called gotta hand it to you seriously, what like?
Speaker 2:you need anything else on your plate it's called gotta, hand it to you of course it is.
Speaker 1:And it's from a contagious smile, and it's going to be a group that is for arms and hands and it is going to be a place. The light thereof, right, it's going to be arm and hand amputations and it's going to be a place of laughter and support and empathy and stories and suggestions and secrets of the trade and it's just going to be great.
Speaker 1:So if you go to facebook and you go look that up, gotta hand it to you. You can join in this group. I want to start leading a support group in this, just for that and, like I said, if you have other amputations you can reach out to me. In any way, you find me because I am certified through the amputation.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's not hard to find you. You're like everywhere I know. It's like Visa Victoria Curie Everywhere.
Speaker 1:So, yes, you got to do something. Because I've got to like decompress, because I'm still so irate to read that article, I have to keep coming back because it literally does. And I also want to thank another lady who came up and said she read my book and she couldn't believe that it was me, that it know the real story of what happened, and she really made my day telling me.
Speaker 1:I was a great writer which that meant the world to me, and it's the fact that I I've written these things to help other people to give them the understanding they're not alone but it meant a lot to me, um, about that. But I, I really, I really wish and really am considering finding a way to get tougher on these laws, how I can help, how we can make a movement to make this happen, because you know you can't just casey anthony I knew it was gonna happen. That's how I figured it out you know, she killed her daughter.
Speaker 1:She's a freaking gorgeous girl. Gorgeous and next thing you know, oh, she's now engaged or whatever the case may be. And now she wants to have another baby and you know it's just not right. And then you have people that would do anything to have kids, and they and they. So having a baby is not just a tax write-off.
Speaker 1:It's not a deduction on your taxes. It's not. You know a way to survive or you know trap a man or take his money in child support or whatever the case is, and I know a million percent that everybody's like that. Not everybody's like that I'm not saying that they are, but we have met a few. We really, really have.
Speaker 2:That is disgusting. It is disgusting To actually take care of in your house a child who has special needs conditions and that is bedridden and all you do is collect the check and check on that kid once a day, twice a day maybe. Right and they complain. We've gone to their home and seen them. They complain about when they have to get their bedding changed and their diaper.
Speaker 1:How about changing their diaper more than once a day? Wow, we went to that house, remember, because we donated cases and cases and cases of stuff for them, and we were just dumbfounded by this. But, it's more often, you know, than a lot of people think. It really is, and it's heartbreaking.
Speaker 2:Hmm. So yes, y'all be sure to uh check out narc. Narc, who's there?
Speaker 1:help them guess me for air it's a series my wife and dave has been doing for a couple months now? Yes, and we are doing. We started doing question and answer sessions and we've gotten to like I think we've gotten like three pages, but I have like 50 pages of questions. Every time someone's written into us, we've written the questions down and then we've asked for people to tell us about a situation they've been in and how they overcame it, and we're shining light on their stories too, so we're kind of mixing it up now with the question and answer and then talking about how somebody else had a situation what that situation was.
Speaker 1:Sorry that situation was and how they overcame it. So maybe all these little nuggets kind of help out and and give them insights and it's linked on the website it's everywhere and, you know, just in the last couple of shows alone we had over 10 million. Wow, and that's shocking. No, I mean it's, you know, d Dana's fabulous, don't get me wrong she's my ride or die girl. But the thing is, it's scary how many people need to know, about this subject and don't have a voice. We hear that all the time.
Speaker 2:Nobody's our voice.
Speaker 1:Nobody's talking about this and we're afraid to for retaliation and we understand that, but we hate that all these people are going through it. I mean, I've met some of the most amazing people.
Speaker 2:I wouldn't have met them had they not had to endure this Right.
Speaker 1:You know it's much more common than people think, but it's always behind closed doors.
Speaker 2:Yeah, often you speak of the statistics and that's only what's reported.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:That's only what's reported, Because I hear all the time. Why is me?
Speaker 1:in jail. Why isn't he in jail? Why isn't he? You know this, that, whatever you know, our judicial system sucks, period. It sucks not only that, but they also yeah, you went to court they also re-assault the. I hate the word victim. They re-assault the individual on the stand because you know what. But it's not us. We don't have the burden to prove. They have to prove that they are innocent. They need to prove that they did or did not do what they need to do. The oftenness turns around. What did you do to make?
Speaker 2:him die. Why did you do?
Speaker 1:this. He wouldn't have had to do this to you If you knew he had a temper. Why didn't you leave? Well, when you can't access anything to leave and you don't even- have car keys? What are you supposed to do? You know, until you walk in those shoes, you cannot answer that question. I did and again I've said this before. I and some of my interviews that I've been on is one time I was doing a speaking engagement and I had someone answer a question. It was a group that.
Speaker 1:I did with a bunch of other women and somebody said to me well, you know, she deserved it. She stayed and I asked for an extra moment of time by our narrator and I was told, of course, and I said let me ask you a question. God forbid, you get cancer, God forbid, and you have a brain tumor, right? God forbid, Are you going to go to a podiatrist?
Speaker 2:And she's like why would I go to?
Speaker 1:a foot doctor, okay, but you wouldn't right. You want the specialist, you want to know, who knows what's going on who's been there and really knows it inside and out.
Speaker 1:Right, yes, Okay Well when you're critiquing your daughter, saying she deserved it because she stayed. She's not a podiatrist, she is a brain surgeon and she knows the in and out and she knows how to get out and survive, because when they get really heated, that's the most dangerous. It's also the most dangerous call for a law enforcement officer to respond to is a domestic violence call. And when you sit there and you run your mouth and talk about how they deserve it because they stayed, get your head out of your ass and help Instead. Why don't you be a support? If you don't think you have the right tools of your mouth to verbalize what is needed, offer to just sit with them. Them say my hand is here if you want to take it.
Speaker 1:Don't reach over and try to grab them they haven't done enough. Just say I'm here, you're not alone.
Speaker 2:Offer a place to survive, say you want to come stay with me for a while, or?
Speaker 1:I'll be your emergency. If you know, give me a code word and if you call me I'll come get you, or you know you've gotten to where you are now. Once before, let's get you out of there and start it over.
Speaker 2:That's where I come in.
Speaker 1:I will help you. I'll do a lot of recommendations. I'll help you look for jobs. I'll help listen and we go through all this. And my husband's looking at me like this again, but this is what I do.
Speaker 2:And.
Speaker 1:I want people to know they're not alone, because when I went through this, I was alone. And I want people to know they're not alone because when I went through this, I was alone and I was pregnant and I went through this beaten half to death.
Speaker 1:And I went through this in the beginning when she was born in a wheelchair, because I almost lost my leg. And you know, I'm still like, still to this day, going through surgeries, because what I said to the surgeons is if it's not life threatening, leave it alone, because I have to get to my. Because what I said to the surgeons is if it's not life-threatening, leave it alone. Because I have to get to my kid and I have to take care of her and until things are in order, where we're safe, I'm going to have to live with a dislocated shoulder. I had it set all the time slide right back out because it was so damaged.
Speaker 1:You joints in my jaw got literally run down to nothing, and it was the skull, the bones literally grinding on each other.
Speaker 1:That was all that was left were just bones grinding, and the thing is that Faith was coding every day. She had seizures every day and we had to put a tracheostomy in and we gave a trach. As a small child, you're inaudible unless you go through and do the Passy Merrill, which we didn't do at that point yet because her airway was so small. We had mandibular distractions times two and I had to crank those and just everything that had to be done as a mom who cares. I came second, she came first, so everything about her was first, and I would do it again a million times over, because that's how you're supposed to be as a parent.
Speaker 1:And so I waited years and I openly admitted in court and I openly admitted now when I'm interviewed that my injuries did get worse because I waited to get them fixed. Injuries did get worse because I waited to get them fixed and I and I'm not putting, I'm not saying I had to have jaw replacement and a thousand percent his fault, it is 9,999 points his fault because I wouldn't have had to have him replaced if he didn't shatter my face and my eardrums.
Speaker 1:I wouldn't be deaf if I hadn't had my eardrums ruptured numerous times right, but because I chose to take care of Faith and do my osteopenthesis where they would just go in with these horrific needles into the joints and quote unquote wash the area it was a band-aid over and over again you know, and then I had to have discs removed and all this.
Speaker 1:It was a slow process because I couldn't do the whole thing back when we had 25 appointments a week and all of this and that. So I made that choice because I'm here and my number one priority at that point was faith, survival and thriving in life, and so everything else had to wait, and that's what I chose to do.
Speaker 2:And if y'all want to get the rest of that story over her eight months of health, y'all go to Amazon and pick up her book who Kicked First, by Victoria Curie.
Speaker 1:Well, the book was actually almost 700 and something pages but I took a lot of it out because it's Faith's story to tell I had so much about the NICU situation in there, but I took so much of that out, because that's not what the book is about the book is about, you know, the day in and day out and domestic violence and nobody believing you and everybody making you out to be the liar.
Speaker 1:And you know, would they interrogate you? And oh, he broke your nose, Okay, Well, what was he wearing? What time of day was it?
Speaker 2:What day of the week was it? What was the weather like? What were you wearing?
Speaker 1:What direction were you sitting in your vehicle? What direction was the vehicle? Where were you sitting in the car? Where were your hands? You know, these are all questions that I got just bombarded with, you know, and the thing is and I think you would agree as a former officer if I could say, let's say I was sitting.
Speaker 1:Northwest facing more West. My hands were at 10 and three I was wearing I don't know, and I answered every single question. Then you really have reflex, because nobody recalls the details of that. Right, they ask me who was around, who did you see geographically?
Speaker 2:around you when this transpired.
Speaker 1:What were they wearing? Were they on the phone? Were they smoking? Were they wearing their cover? Were they wearing BDUs or ACUs? I mean just I don't know. My face was busted wide-ass open and I was bleeding everywhere. I don't know. My face was busted wide ass open and I was bleeding everywhere. I don't know. I can tell you what it felt like to have blood drop from my nose into my mouth. I can tell you how wet it was down my chin and all over my suit. I can tell you that.
Speaker 2:I can tell you well how'd you know you were in a? Suit, because I just came from work it was a weekday so I'll give you another example. While you take a sip of tea.
Speaker 1:Thank you as a cop.
Speaker 2:I never understood when I talked to the victims Okay, not domestic violence victims, but the victims of these crimes and I would say, okay, did you see the gun? Yes, and put it right in my face. Can you describe the gun? Yes, and put it right in my face. Can you describe the gun? And they'll describe this larger-than-life gun? Because at that moment it was Because their perception at that time was that big-ass gun, okay, and I never, ever understood how.
Speaker 2:You know, okay, I've got lots of guns. Okay, we have lots of guns. My wife and I, we have lots of guns. Okay, we can name the guns, we know the shapes of them, you know, we know the sizes, but that's because we've become familiar with them over the years. You know, and you know, not every victim out there has that same access. I did not understand what they were saying until I had my rookie in training knock on the door and the first thing that came out of the door was the barrel of a gun pointed at the head of my rookie officer. Now, to this day, that gun was larger than life and that happens to be, out of the six and a half years I spent on that department, that happened to be the scariest day of my life, when someone pointed a gun at someone I was responsible for in front of that door. On a everyday call loud disturbance, noise, complaint, everyday call.
Speaker 2:Get them 100 times a day when that gun came out and it went straight at my partner's head. Everything flashed through your mind.
Speaker 1:Now tell me, what did you do In?
Speaker 2:a split second. A split second is all you have time to do anything and to think.
Speaker 1:Not just as an officer, but as the person in the situation Right.
Speaker 2:Has a split second, I have me to think of my life and his life Okay. When I saw that gun okay, which if y'all are interested. It turned out to be a small block, okay, but at the time it was huge, great.
Speaker 1:So what did you do at that?
Speaker 2:moment. At that moment, I immediately held gun, drew my weapon as I was walking backwards with my partner in tow and we found cover behind two huge oak trees. Okay, not just consumer, but we found cover and called it in. We made multiple arrests in our house. Multiple guns were confiscated and several huge bags of marijuana was taken out of a lock closet. So it was a good arrest. It was, like I said, the scariest moment of being a cop. You know, and I've been in high-speed chases.
Speaker 2:I've been you know, sitting at the back door of a gun shop where the suspect had went through the AC and the top and had access to unlimited firearms, you know, and could have came out the back door with anything. You know, I've been in foot chases, but just that, just being responsible for somebody's life and to know you can live over in a split second well, now let me ask you this?
Speaker 1:and we've talked about this a lot. But now that you talk about this, you came with me to court and I'm not going to talk about the fact. I don't know what happened when you took him to the bathroom. Even I still know. You came with me and you sat beside me in court and you even said to me that I was empty inside, like I looked hollow. I wasn't the Victoria you knew and loved.
Speaker 1:And when you came, in there and I was petrified because I was worried about you hearing things you didn't know and didn't know about and judging me over them. And you sat there and what was ironic is I said to you and I'm sure you probably don't remember this I said to you he's here. And you looked around and you were like what? And I said he's here and you had already met him before this. And not even 30 seconds he comes in the courtroom doors and he walked in and he sat like adjacent to us and kind of trying to stare me down.
Speaker 1:How did you feel? Because you were sitting there, and you were sitting there as an officer you were in uniform. Not only were you in there as an officer, you were in there to help give me sense of protection, but you were there for me. Is I mean? You were my best friend, you were everything to me, but we weren't together at that point. How, how did you feel?
Speaker 1:as a man or as an officer sitting there beside me in that situation, because I know that for a man going to that situation, to court, how would somebody else feel going and supporting a person maybe a brother or somebody else who is going to court to support somebody who's just gone through it?
Speaker 2:somebody who's just gone through it. Back then, you know, it would have been, it would not have been very difficult to say, you know, I would have been pissed, I would have been angry, you know, and looking for a hole, you know, hoping that he's not found a building so that we could, you know, fill in that hole. But wow, that was like what 20 years ago, like 20 years ago, almost 20 years ago. It's a long time and don't forget, I'm old. I have a horrible memory, but you know, to this day, you know, we have a lot of, a lot of feelings, a lot of emotions for that type of evil. And you know, our listeners, they're going to get your book, they're going to read it and they're going to see what type of monster is out there.
Speaker 2:And, you know, maybe they know someone who's been through something similar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but I mean just now that you're who you are, to us, to me and to me. I mean and you've seen not all but a majority of the pictures that were in evidence, and every time you look at them you can't look at them long. Like you, you don't look at them long, and this is someone who's had a career in law enforcement and you don't. And then you and I talked about things that nobody really knows. That happened, that is not in the book, but what is your advice as?
Speaker 1:a man yet alone an officer, which isn't really what I'm going with with that, and how you can be there for that person who's gone through it and help them, because you went through it too, but you went through it in a totally different way, how can you be there for your partner, like when you've gone?
Speaker 2:through it.
Speaker 1:We talk like, for instance I listen and I talk to you and I tell you that I never want to see you hurt and I want you to always be happy and. I just want you to have the life you deserve to have, and when you're going through something.
Speaker 1:I try to get you to talk to me about it and not, you know, compress it down and bottle it up. You do. But then you open up and tell me everything. I mean, we tell each other absolutely everything all the time, and we, we don't hide anything from one another. But how can you support someone?
Speaker 2:going through this as a man. You've got to be patient. That's one thing I've learned with you over over these years. I have to be patient. I can't just just rip rip the band-aid off, so to speak. I just open the door and say, okay, here's the outside world, Now go get a loss. You have to be patient and allow that person to traverse each baby step in their own time.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I think I've done pretty well with you. I get a little pushy at times.
Speaker 1:What A little, a little.
Speaker 2:A little, a little. Don't get your daughter in here.
Speaker 1:And now she's my daughter.
Speaker 2:You know whose side she'd be on.
Speaker 1:Not.
Speaker 2:She's always on my side.
Speaker 1:That's just. What I'm saying is that you need support.
Speaker 2:You need understanding.
Speaker 1:And to the people who don't support you, do not understand. They want to say you deserve it because you stayed. You know what? Don't even send them a.
Speaker 1:Christmas card. Don't send them a holiday card, don't send them nothing, because you know what that's about, what they deserve, because if this happened to them, you better believe there'd be a whole different scenario. It really, really would, and they would just be milking it for everything you know and I can't. I've never been like oh, and I think you would agree, I've never been. Feel bad for me. When I went through, you know, we had these big crates and I really hope you guys are not listening to this um, we big crepes and we were on a table full of books and I'm picking them up and he's like what are you doing? And I'm like I need to move it and I don't have a prosthetic arm on, I'm just using my nub. Please don't let my surgery be this thing.
Speaker 2:You're in pain, constantly spasming nub.
Speaker 1:But it's strong.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Idiot, you say my nub is very strong, but I pick up stuff because I don't want things done for me I don't want people to be. Oh, I feel so bad for her. Let me do this.
Speaker 1:You know, I learned how to have my shoes one-handed, you did and you know it's like all right, wipe my own ass, and then you're done, but it's literally it's it's like I wipe my own ass in there, but it's literally it's tough, and you want to do everything for yourself. And then you know I guarantee one of these assholes that you know. Oh, you stayed, so you deserve it.
Speaker 2:You know if they got sucked.
Speaker 1:I mean, I was told constantly I would never let a man hit me. No man would ever put their hand on me never, and this is what I grew up with hearing this. Well, you know what light bulb? Guess who put this son of a in my life? Let's think about that for a minute. You know what do you do to protect your child. How far will you go to protect your child? And then you have the end of this, which is I literally went to death's door numerous times to protect faith.
Speaker 1:And then you have momos out there that cook their kids. I'm just saying.
Speaker 2:I think you just blew 50 years off well, then they can feel how I what death? Yes, you have the option of what you're doing, what don't plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize. You have the option of what you're doing, what you choose, don't plagiarize. Plagiarize.
Speaker 1:Plagiarize.
Speaker 2:It's a huge plan, so I took you out the other night. Woman.
Speaker 1:I'm coming out from the podcast.
Speaker 2:Took you out to dinner Like a good husband.
Speaker 1:After a long day of yard selling, and we went with our neighbor, who's a hoot, while we sat across from the group you better be listening, woman yeah don't mention your name, but she wants a date with somebody. I'm going to tell her. You just said that on air and she is going to tell her. You just said that on air and she is going to have a fit. I'm going to tell her you did it.
Speaker 2:She's an old hippie.
Speaker 1:She's not a hippie. She's a hippie. She's not old, she's not as old as I am.
Speaker 2:She's a hippie.
Speaker 1:She's not a hippie. I was born in the 70s. She's not a hippie, she's not a hippie.
Speaker 2:I was born in the 70s. She's not a hippie. She's older than me.
Speaker 1:I'm telling, I'm telling, I'm telling her right now. You better tell her. All right, y'all.
Speaker 2:Be sure to check out the books who Kicked First and Narnark, who's there? Check out.
Speaker 1:Victoria and.
Speaker 2:Dana's sessions on. Narnark, who's there? Help on guessing for air. I just slurred you did. Are you texting her?
Speaker 1:yes, I am.
Speaker 2:I'm always in trouble, y'all, y'all help Michael. He's always in trouble thank y'all for listening unstoppable. Victoria and myself and y'all are not graced with grace presence, so she's probably down there with grace's presence.
Speaker 1:Good night y'all. I'm telling her too, oh lord.
