Protecting Your Peace From Narcissists

Some nights turn into a tug-of-war between chaos and clarity. We start with the mess that hits after a loved one passes—addresses, wills, medical directives, and the million tiny decisions no one wants to make while grieving. Getting your documents in order isn’t morbid; it’s merciful. We walk through what to set up now so you’re not scrambling later: living will, durable and medical power of attorney, beneficiaries, and a simple system that keeps paperwork from becoming a second storm.

From there, we pull back the curtain on narcissism. We talk about masks and scapegoats, why the black sheep gets blamed, and how evidence can be twisted into “betrayal.” If you’ve ever felt invisible while telling the truth, you’ll recognize the pattern. We share how to hold steady: document everything, stop feeding the fire, and use language that protects your self-respect without inviting more harm. There’s a reason calm works—narcissists need fuel, and we don’t have to supply it.

Safety is a plan, not a slogan. We break down realistic steps for leaving abuse with children and pets in mind: trusted allies, copies of key documents, code phrases, transportation, and timing. We also explore how to model respect for kids through de-escalation, because what they witness becomes their script. To balance the heavy, we share a moving story from our special needs community—proof that resilience lives in small moments, not just big milestones—and yes, a few laughs about ravioli standoffs and household pranks, because humor keeps the heart open when life gets sharp.

If this conversation helps you breathe a little easier, subscribe, share it with someone who needs courage tonight, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway. Your story might be the lifeline someone else is waiting for.

Transcript

Banter, Family Chaos, And Admin

SPEAKER_04 0:02

Howdy y'all, welcome to another episode of a contagious smile podcast with Victoria, the sexy, lovely wife of one and only Michael Solomon. Hi Howdy all.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Howdy y'all. How's it going?

SPEAKER_04 0:20

Seriously? Yeah. Folks, let me tell you about my wife.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Oh god.

SPEAKER_04 0:27

She is a machine.

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Are you making a metal reference?

SPEAKER_04 0:33

Like in heavy metal?

SPEAKER_02 0:34

No, in the fact that like my whole body is metal.

SPEAKER_04 0:37

Well, tell me about it.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

No, because then that would make me going out in the field.

SPEAKER_04 0:42

No, you can talk about your body.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

I don't want to talk about my body. The listeners don't want to hear about my body. Carry on.

SPEAKER_04 0:49

Well, I'm sexy and you know it.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

I do know it. You are hot. Not sexy. Yeah, you are.

SPEAKER_04 0:55

Anyway, y'all. She has been up here doing the work of at least two to three lawyers plus ten paralegals.

Get Your Documents In Order

SPEAKER_02 1:04

I am not a lawyer, nor do I portray to play on one on television.

SPEAKER_04 1:07

When we tell you and we advise y'all to get your paperwork in order, when there's a death in your family, it is chaotic. It's a it's it's an intense, stressful situation. If you're by the bedside of the loved one in the hospital, and then you're having to do all this on the side, it's very stressful. So take care of it now while you're not lucid, while you're in your right state of mind.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

Some people are never in the right state of mind. But what we're doing is we're doing address changes and things of that nature. Oh, dates and wheels, notifications.

SPEAKER_04 1:46

If you have any property.

SPEAKER_03 1:48

Right. Not of we're not updating wills of the deceased, we're updating wills of the living.

SPEAKER_04 1:54

Right.

SPEAKER_03 1:54

And then you have the living will, and you have a power of attorney, and then you have That's including our own will. Medical power of attorney. My husband loves to give me lists. Like lists, lists, lists, lists.

SPEAKER_04 2:05

I just want you to sell me your butt and do nothing all day.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

I can't be like you when I grow up.

SPEAKER_04 2:12

You got jokes.

SPEAKER_03 2:13

I got good jokes. So my husband likes to mess with my child, and she's obsessed with a food from World War One that is cheese ravioli. And if you've never partaken in the smell of canned cheese ravioli, it's it's it's kind of nasty, it's an acquired thing. Like it's just like I can't stand when she heats it up. And it is true that when you lose one of your senses, another one gets stronger. So mine is my sense of smell, and when she microwaves that, oh my god, it's it's topping up next to your flagellants, like it's really really we're gonna bring that on the show. Well, you can clear a room after what is what does Pumba and Simone say? He can clear right now. That's why I give it credit and said Simona Temba Savannah after every meal, yeah. Cause like, yeah, it's it's nasty. So he takes her cans of don't you do that to my boy? And he takes the cans and he hides them, and she can't stand it because she has to have stuff her way. And now I would like you to tell me how you plan on on rectifying this situation. That when I say to her the other day, hey, you know, it's not okay to be lazy, and she's like, Why dad does? So now she doesn't want to help do her chores because she says, Dad's lazy, so why can't I do it? Don't mess with my boy, stucco. It's okay. My sweet baby.

SPEAKER_04 3:53

Your dog is getting in the way.

SPEAKER_03 3:57

So, what do you have to say about Faith becoming a little bit on the lazy side?

SPEAKER_04 4:01

Well, she's a grown woman. Just like you or I. Wait, I'm not a woman. I have a picture of you in a drag. No, not in drag. Let's correct that right now. I was never in drag. I was in a skirt. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 4:18

Are you talking about one of your exes?

SPEAKER_04 4:20

No. I've been in plenty of skirts.

SPEAKER_03 4:23

Yes, I know. I didn't hear about any of them until much later in life.

SPEAKER_04 4:27

No, I was in a cheerleader's uniform. Yes. Never in drag.

SPEAKER_03 4:34

Things that make me go.

SPEAKER_04 4:37

Did you just vomit there a little bit?

SPEAKER_03 4:39

A little bit. Then when it came out of my mouth. Yeah, a little bit. But if I took the procrastinational role that you and her have at moments, nothing would get done.

SPEAKER_04 4:51

But you have to calm down sometime. You have to ease off on the shit on my plate.

SPEAKER_03 4:56

It's not a buffet line. I thought it was all you could eat. Oh, now you want to go R-rated.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

I see where this is. I see where this is.

Parenting Friction And Household Humor

SPEAKER_03 5:08

So I want to talk about this for a minute, and my husband needs to participate in this because I think this is great. Anything about narcissism, okay? Now that's why.

unknown 5:18

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_04 5:20

Um, listen.

SPEAKER_01 5:21

It makes so much noise in the background. I just did.

SPEAKER_02 5:26

Listen, Linda.

SPEAKER_04 5:28

Listen, Linda.

SPEAKER_02 5:29

So narcissists portray this image of themselves to the outside free world, right? They care more about what strangers think than they do their immediate family.

Narcissism 101 And The Black Sheep

SPEAKER_03 5:39

And then they have the black sheep or the scapegoat, and it's like they wear a mask, and the true self comes off when the mask comes down, right? And the thing is, is that my book, Nark Nark Who's There, which is the prerequisite to Who Kicked First, had great reviews. Everybody was like, wow, this is the epitome of narcissism, right? I've had a few bad reviews on Amazon about them, and they are fictitious people who wrote them, and it's ironic to me that someone who is in the narcissist wheelhouse and is a purebred narcissist can't identify themselves by their true identity, right? They have to hide behind a fictitious name. Now, in my book, as I clearly state in all of my books, that the memoir and the prequel all have fictitious names, but the rest of the book is 100% evidence, right? There's so much evidence in it throughout the whole thing. But I did that to protect people because that's what a black sheep escapegoat does. They is they're the fault for everything. And I purposely redacted faces and names and geographic locations, but people have identified themselves within characters, and it's kind of irony that people who have not been named or identified or physically shown in the book or characteristics that would split specifically state who they are, even though the book is about my my family, have come forth with stating that they, I guess, identify with characters in that book, but they don't, I don't know. It just it's ironic that it's like the beaker from the Muppets, you know, like the narcissist is like, I didn't do it, I've done nothing but clean up your messes and and deal with your shit and had to deal with all this, and and I'm not gonna take accountability for anything because I just I am a king, but I hold myself like a toddler because they want the freedom of a king, but the accountability of a toddler, because you can't really critique or criticize a toddler to the point of correction, and you narcissists don't want to be corrected because they will not take accountability for what they do or not do, but they will place it and blame it on the black sheep, because that's why they tell everybody all these lies and they absolutely ruin everybody else's opinion on that black sheep, so that when the black sheep says that's not true, this is not what happened. And even if you have proof, you have evidence, you have let's say photos, photos are worth a thousand words, you have emails, you have a video, you have audio recordings, and it is the word-for-word verbatim of what you state as a black sheep, right? The narcissist is not gonna say, Oh yeah, yeah, that is me. They're gonna say, Oh my god, you betrayed me. You went behind my back without my permission and recorded me or videoed me. Well, guess what? In the state of Georgia, at least, only one party has to know that it's recording. And if that person hits record, I think that they know it's recording. Number two is they can't say, Oh my god, I got caught. Maybe I need to correct my ridiculous behavior. They're gonna say, You betrayed me. How dare you? And they're gonna spin it again. And they try to tear down the black sheep to nothing, they make them think they're not worthy, they're not good enough. And they do this to everyone so that they seem to be the saving call, if you will, that comes in and rescues the black sheep their whole life and has to clean up their messes and fix all their wrongs, but it's not their wrongs as the black sheep and scapegoat, it's the narcissist's wrongs. And you know what? Here's the thing one of the things I'm biggest about, my husband will tell you, I can't lie to save my butt. And my family loves it because they will ask me a question, and if I know like a secret and I'm trying not to tell them, they'll know if I'm trying to hide it. If I try to cover up something, they know I can't cover up, I can't do it, I can't get away with it, and it's really not fair. But because sometimes it would be fun, but I can't, I can't do it. But here's the thing when a narcissist hears the truth from a black sheep, the honesty from that narcissist is like a web of evil coming into that narcissist because the truth is what sets a narcissist into a firing rage. Because all the narcissist does is lie, and when the narcissist lies, he wants to make everybody believe his lies are the truth, and in fact, they're not.

SPEAKER_04 10:46

So let me ask you this individual it's not just one.

SPEAKER_03 10:52

This individual who wrote the reviews, are you saying they basically perjured themselves by coming out and identifying well, they didn't identify as a specific character, none of them did.

SPEAKER_04 11:06

But it I mean, you if you read several of those reviews, it it's all got a main theme there.

SPEAKER_03 11:12

Well, here's the thing when you know somebody, like if you speak to me, anybody who ever speaks to me, whether I'm working with you as a survivor or whatever the case may be, I have certain ways of talking, and I have certain I have certain phrases that I use that are common. And it's like when you hear that, you know it's it's me, right? When you read these reviews, some of those are in there, and it's like, okay, ding, hello, really.

SPEAKER_04 11:42

All right, all right, all right.

SPEAKER_03 11:43

We all know that's Matthew McConaughey. I don't know, right? It's like, you know, that's Matthew McConaughey. And it's there's just some things like when I say, like, if you go and look, you have survived 100% of your worst days, and that is a track record that is untouchable. You go anywhere and look, that's my phrase. That that's something I have said that's my quote forever, and people hear it. No, that's Victoria, right? That's what they hear. When you hear other phrases, you're like, oh, that's that person. Like, you know that that's that person just by their saying. And it's like they hide behind it's kind of the metaphor that they hide behind the closed door of the house, because behind those doors of that house is hell, right? But when you open the door, it's Mr. Rogers, right? You know, oh, I do so much and I help everybody, and I do this and I do that, and this and this and this, and but when you shut the door, the mask falls down and hell breaks loose.

SPEAKER_04 12:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:45

And I mean, you learned about that from you have a parent, and well, you had two, you had a woman you never called a mom, and your mom, who you learned this from, and I had both. So it my you know, I want to take a moment. Let me left field it for a second. Last week, my husband was falling asleep, and we all know it because he was really falling asleep. This week, my husband is like collecting chains. Last week I went and picked up dad, but then we didn't record the same night. We recorded three nights later, and we were late.

SPEAKER_04 13:17

It was called jet lag.

SPEAKER_03 13:19

You didn't fly. I hauled ass. I was about to say it was bull on your bullshit.

SPEAKER_04 13:23

I hauled ass.

SPEAKER_03 13:24

No, I got home before you did.

SPEAKER_04 13:26

You left before I did.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

Uh no, even if we left at the same time, I still would have gotten home before you. And I try and I trailed up a boat.

SPEAKER_04 13:34

A boat?

SPEAKER_03 13:35

I did.

SPEAKER_04 13:36

In the back of the truck.

SPEAKER_03 13:37

Uh huh.

SPEAKER_04 13:38

I was hauling a trailer.

SPEAKER_03 13:41

And and I was driving a truck one-handed with a boat. Okay. Two dogs and a child. I might have stopped off at Bucky's for a little while. Two dogs, a child, a boat, a truck, one-handed.

SPEAKER_04 13:57

You gotta have a boat.

SPEAKER_03 13:58

This is why you bow down to the one you serve.

SPEAKER_04 14:00

I'll bow down, but it ain't serving. I'm well oh wait, what are you serving? Let's go back to that all you can eat buffet.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

See? This is not supposed to be all rated.

SPEAKER_04 14:11

This is not all rated.

SPEAKER_03 14:13

When you're talking about your wife and an all-you-can-eat buffet.

SPEAKER_04 14:16

Hey, I can't help the the dirty-minded individuals we have listening to us.

SPEAKER_03 14:21

All I want to say is case in point, your shirt says you can't tell me what to do, you're not my daughter.

SPEAKER_04 14:26

Oh, well, that's true.

SPEAKER_03 14:28

She has you so wrapped.

SPEAKER_04 14:31

Don't tell her.

SPEAKER_03 14:31

Wrapped. But then you go in there and you mess with her.

SPEAKER_04 14:34

Yes, I do.

SPEAKER_03 14:36

All the time.

SPEAKER_04 14:37

So she's got a little OCD, y'all, and I'll put her. What'd you call them? Ravioli. Cheese, ravioli, stink, cheese, ravioli. World War I food. I'll put them all in the the cupboards. Or in mugs. The cupboards with the dishes and the uh the oils and spices. Oils. Oils? Foils? Oils, not foil. No, the foils on the side. Anyway, it just drives her crazy. They're not over there with all the cans.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

What did Faith do to you that we noticed?

SPEAKER_04 15:04

Oh yeah. When I went to hide another can, there's my set of keys hiding in the cupboard. Little turkey.

SPEAKER_03 15:13

This is what they do to each other all the time. But she got you pretty good the other day when she put you said, I'm so parched, and she filled your drink with unsweet tea. That was pretty doggone clever and funny. And she had a little help from Pop on that one because he may or may not have advised her on how to do that.

SPEAKER_04 15:32

Are we done with the topic of narcissism?

SPEAKER_03 15:35

No, because this is what we do.

SPEAKER_04 15:36

This is what we do.

SPEAKER_03 15:37

We talk about domestic violence, we talk about abusers, we talk about survivors, we talk about you know narcissism, even though apparently I know nothing about narcissism.

SPEAKER_04 15:47

I mean, that that's just well, you got away from a couple narcissistic people. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:55

But I've been told I don't know anything about narcissism.

SPEAKER_04 15:58

And abusers. Yeah. So if if you have someone in your life that is a narcissist How can if you're living under their roof, how can you escape that? How can you take back control?

SPEAKER_03 16:18

Well, you answer that.

SPEAKER_04 16:21

I uh shit, I moved. Um left.

SPEAKER_03 16:24

But you went from one to the next.

SPEAKER_04 16:26

Right, but I still left.

SPEAKER_03 16:28

Okay, but you still went from one to the next.

SPEAKER_04 16:30

Oh wait, the second one left me too. That was good. But you went from one to the next, because then you went to So how I'm I'm asking you as a woman, how do you leave that situation?

SPEAKER_03 16:40

It's not a quick fix.

SPEAKER_04 16:41

It's not.

SPEAKER_03 16:42

It's nowhere near a quick fix.

SPEAKER_04 16:43

Because you have to have someplace to go. You have to have folks you can trust.

SPEAKER_03 16:48

You have to be able to know that your children, if there's children in the picture and dogs, yes, that they are protected as well.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

It's not it's not an easy fast thing.

SPEAKER_04 17:03

And what are you doing there? I thought that we would Oh, how many of y'all have have recently purchased Dear Silence? You lost.

SPEAKER_00 17:13

Now we get the last word.

SPEAKER_04 17:14

I would like to hear your comments. Put out a review on that on Amazon. I think I'm smacking on air. Yeah. My throat's kinda dry.

SPEAKER_03 17:26

Well, you have your chocolate milk.

SPEAKER_04 17:28

Drink my chocolate milk and pass out.

SPEAKER_03 17:30

You've got to be kidding me.

SPEAKER_04 17:32

No.

SPEAKER_03 17:33

Why? My husband thinks his bedtime's younger than a toddler's bedtime.

SPEAKER_04 17:38

I used to go to bed at 8 30 sometimes.

SPEAKER_03 17:41

What?

SPEAKER_04 17:42

Yeah. Now that I'm getting old. Er. Er. Er. You got a lot of dead dead space here.

SPEAKER_03 17:53

Well, that's your fault.

SPEAKER_04 17:54

What are you looking for?

SPEAKER_03 17:55

I'm gonna read one of the stories that I permit. Oh lord.

SPEAKER_04 17:58

I'm not reading them more.

SPEAKER_03 17:59

No, these are the loving ones. These are loving. I actually saw a picture of this beautiful little girl, and I'm so excited to read this because I asked if I could, and they said yes. So the next book, I am not my are you getting? I am not my diagnosis, is a book all about just strength and the amazement of our wonderful kids and adult special needs families. You can send in your story and we can include it in the book. I actually got to talk to this mom and saw a picture of the child. I would love to speak with this beautiful child. So this is called The Girl Who Taught the Sun to Rise, the Girl Who Teaches the Sun to Rise. When they first placed her in my arms, I remember her tiny fingers curling around mine as she already knew I was her mom. I remember the smell of her hair, the softness of her skin, and the weight of her against me. She was so small, yet somehow holding the whole universe in her arms. Then the silence came. The kind of silence you don't ever forget. The nurse whispered, the doctor cleared his throat, the chart pressed against his chest like a shield. His he said the words gently, but nothing could have ever softened them. Your daughter has Down syndrome. Suddenly everything inside me stopped moving. I tried to nod like I understood, but the room felt like it was spinning while underwater. I couldn't hear the hum for the medical machines anymore. Just the sound of my own heartbeat that had lodged itself in my throat and the quiet cries of a woman who didn't yet know how strong she was going to have to become. I grieved a future I hadn't even lived. I grieved the expectations that I had built in secret, the ones where she grew up like everyone else. And then just as I began to sink into the world of that fear, she made this soft little sound, like a half sigh, a half song, and I looked down at her. She blinked up at me with these almond-shaped eyes, and there it was, calm, presence, and love. Not once did she cry in that moment. Instead, she studied me as if she was the one checking me for strength. I held her tighter and whispered, we'll figure this out together. The early days were hard. There were appointments and therapies and specialists with cold eyes and warm smiles who handed me pamphlets instead of reassurance. They were also quick to inform me of all the things she might never do, as well as all of the delays I should expect, and all the milestones she may never reach. I would drive home in silence and cry in parking lots, letting the tears fall until I couldn't taste salt anymore. Then I'd wipe my face and look at her, smiling at me like I was her whole world, and suddenly none of what I had just heard even mattered. Because she wasn't broken, she wasn't less, she was her own kind of magic. And you know what? I am not gonna finish this because if you want to hear about this beautiful girl and what an amazing little girl this beautiful child is, you're gonna have to get the book when it comes out. The story was just getting super, super good.

SPEAKER_04 21:24

That's pretty good.

Leaving Abuse Safely And Realities

SPEAKER_03 21:26

The these kids are so resilient and amazing, and you just want to put them in front of these, you know, people who are just stupid and make them have a realization that this is how you appreciate life. So let's talk about people who really have their heads in their body parts for a minute. So last weekend we had to go back down to help finish gathering pop stuff and bring it up, and we had an incident with a individual, if you will, who decided to become threatening. And not only did this individual become threatening, but he became threatening at me. How do you describe this individual? Like swearing, cursing, threatening, piece of shit, yelling, berating. It was a horrible, horrible thing. And to do this as a man, a dad, a boyfriend, a partner, the kids are seeing this, the kids are witnessing this, and that's all they know. So that is their normal. But I have to tell you, my husband sprung up in action, and why don't you kind of no why no, no what? No, no what? Nope. And why is that? All all I'm saying is no, what do you believe that a man should uh be able to speak like that in front of the kids? That them them's his kids, but that doesn't make it okay for him to be threatening, cursing, swearing, and doing all that he was doing in front of them.

SPEAKER_04 23:25

No, I don't care what he does in front of his kids, that's his kids. He's gotta answer himself for that, and maybe his wife and they're not married. The Lord will, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 23:36

Okay, but I'm saying what we do is the fact that we're trying to de-escalate situations and how the kids should not be witness to this kind of behavior from a man or a woman, that this is not something that they need to know is a norm. This is not a normal situation.

SPEAKER_04 23:52

You obviously know where where you want to go with this.

SPEAKER_03 23:55

No, I'm talking generically, like anywhere you go as a man, you don't act in this demeanor in front of your children or to your partner.

SPEAKER_04 24:04

I I didn't, I wasn't thinking about his kids at the time.

SPEAKER_03 24:08

Okay, but you also never should come up and threaten a human being because, and you know, that's another thing. Narcissists always raise their voice, they always feel like I have to be louder, I have to be the one that is overpowering, I have to be heard, you know. But then those like I've heard for so much of my life, why don't you just yell at me? Why don't you raise your voice? You know, get it over with. I won't because I'm not going to. Because A, I know that's what you want. I know that these individuals want me to raise my voice and come to their level, and I'm not going to. I am not going to stoop down and raise my voice and give you that control and power because then they're just going to keep going, they're going to escalate even more. And then you're just feeding into this, and that's not what you do. You absolutely not. You will infuriate them to walk away. And that's exactly what happened. I didn't raise my voice, I stayed like this. You and the individual got really perturbed and walked off and slam the door. But the the thing is, is that when you're dealing with an angry individual, don't feed the fire by adding more gasoline. Don't raise your voice. Don't, you know, no matter how hard it is for you. Take a deep breath, count to five. Remember that. Can your kids hear you? Can, you know, any other children hear you? Is this, and if you say, you know, he's only hitting me, he's only doing this to me, he's not hitting the kids. The kids see so much more than you have any idea. They really witness more than you have any knowledge. And let me just ask you, let's just say hypothetically, they haven't seen the physical assault, but they hear the verbal abuse. Would you be okay with your children having a partner that was doing the exact same thing?

SPEAKER_04 25:55

No.

Special Needs Story: Strength And Hope

SPEAKER_03 25:55

Because that's what they hear. So that's what they think is acceptable. And then then you turn around and watch how many kids start treating their mom that way because they hear dad or the boyfriend or the stepdad, whatever the case is, that's what they're placing judgment on because that's what they see, and that's what they're emulating. Because they sit there and say, Oh, well, that's how he talks to her. So I guess that's how I have to talk to her. And then they get in trouble in school, and it's this big domino effect, and it's really horrible. It's a horrible situation all the way around. You know, you stop and think for a minute before you speak. Is this something you're gonna regret saying in a year? Yes, it might be a heated argument. You know, my husband and I have never had a fight in in 25 years, but you know what I literally have had times. We both have had times where we take a break and have a conversation, but we don't scream at each other and we talk to each other with respect, and therefore we think about what we say before we say it because you might say something heated in the moment, and in an hour or two, you didn't mean it, you just said it because you were mad. But you know what? It's those comments that stay with you forever, and you'll never ever forget them. It's a horrible, horrible thing.

SPEAKER_04 27:12

Now, y'all know we advocate for special needs families and domestic violence survivors, so obviously we advocate against violence. What my wife did leave out in this is the individual that we were talking about did threaten my wife, and I did bodily jump in front of in between my wife and this individual. Now that's what every husband, every man should do protect his family, protect his loved ones, protect his wife. Could my wife, who is a left arm amputee, as a female, handled this individual? Absolutely. With her pinky toe. Okay? She would absolutely mop up the floor with this individual. But that's not her, that's not her role. That's not her job. My job is to stand in front of danger.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Not that that was much of a danger, but this person didn't even come up to my boobs. I mean, come on.

SPEAKER_04 28:08

Okay, now we're talking about your boobs.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

I'm just saying he was, you know, I really thought this was rated PG. It is, but it's not, you know, he was a man in the sense of age.

SPEAKER_04 28:17

He's a piece of shit.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

But size comparison.

SPEAKER_04 28:21

Oh, now we're comparing sizes?

SPEAKER_02 28:23

He was pubescent.

De‑escalation And Modeling Respect

SPEAKER_03 28:26

I'm just saying. I'm just saying. It's a lot of bark and no bite. You know, and that's what it is, is that you need to escalate it when it gets to that point because there was a time when I was with my ex who would scream and yell, and I would tower down and and conform into that fetal position. Absolutely. But now, you know, it's been a long time, and now it's like he because even something was said after the threats were made, like, oh, are you gonna get mad? Are you gonna get mad? And the it was escalating with each time, are you gonna get mad? And I just said no. And that infuriated me. It was just said just like a normal voice, at normal tone, at normal volume, and it spun him around and stormed off, like you know, I'm gonna go act like a toddler, not a king, and stomp my feet and shut the door and pout and whine. And that's exactly what happened. And until you can really see that for yourself, you know, it's kind of like I don't know how that can happen because I'm used to this man who's ferocious and vicious. And you know what? They're a coward, they are a coward, and it took me a long time to be able to say that. And most people might not be in the mind space to be able to say it, right? But my ex, I can clearly tell you right now, back then, as I would tower down, and you ask my husband, I have countless scars. I mean, we're talking hundreds of scars from what he did and the operation stuff. Together and you put them all together, and the stabbings and everything else, and it's literally like I would never have said he was a coward back in the day. There would be no way I would ever. But now I'm like, I look at all the scars of how many times he tried and he failed because I'm stronger. I won.

SPEAKER_04 30:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 30:20

Right? And what a coward. And how miserable these people must be in their life. Just in general. I mean, how happy can they be? You could have all the money in the world, you could have all the nice cars, you could have this, this, that, and the other.

SPEAKER_04 30:39

The narcissist is not happy.

SPEAKER_03 30:40

No, but you could have all of that, but if you don't have someone to share it with, you have nothing.

SPEAKER_04 30:47

They get their kicks from what?

SPEAKER_03 30:49

From making others miserable. That's right. That's where they get their enjoyment. They get their fuel for themselves by watching others quote unquote burn in the fire. Like to see someone other get torn down and belittled and be great and degraded is how you feed a narcissist. That's like how they just, or you know, making them out to be the hero absolutely is how you just feed a narcissist. But they cannot be happy individuals in their own personal life. You know, they have self-esteem issues, they have low self-worth, even though I mean you could have all the money in the world, you could have whatever, and it's just like you really aren't happy, are you? Ask somebody that one day and watch them shut down. They're either gonna shut down completely or they're gonna get absolutely irate. And it either one, maintain your tone, maintain your volume, and just be like, so knowing it wasn't me who caused all this, what made you this way? And they're gonna still try to spin it because they will never take a moment and say, Well, I did this, or my actions did that, or I chose to do this. It's gonna be you did it, you did it, you did it, or they did it, or somebody else did it, but they can do no wrong. Absolutely no way, shape, form, or fashion can they do wrong.

SPEAKER_04 32:17

So y'all be on the lookout for her books. I don't think you have a timeline on them now.

SPEAKER_03 32:23

This one I won't release before the holidays, but I've been just covered with all sorts of stuff now.

SPEAKER_04 32:30

Yeah, she has like a huge amount of paperwork she's been doing.

SPEAKER_03 32:34

That's an understatement.

SPEAKER_04 32:36

And not to mention phone calls, doctor's appointments, uh everything. So y'all be patient with uh old Victoria here.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

Now I gotta be old.

SPEAKER_04 32:47

I didn't say old, I said old. Like cooking oil? No, like OL. What's O L? Oh, old like old yeller. You you didn't read the book?

SPEAKER_03 33:00

I read the book and I also saw the movie.

SPEAKER_04 33:02

You saw the movie?

SPEAKER_03 33:03

Of course I saw the movie and it was so sad at the end.

SPEAKER_04 33:06

Well, now you just ruin it for everybody.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

Everybody who listens to us has listened has watched Old Yellow.

SPEAKER_04 33:10

Old Yeller? Yes. Because they're old. We got an old audience. Pull up the demographics.

SPEAKER_03 33:15

They're between 25 and 60.

SPEAKER_04 33:18

Well, they don't know about old yeller. Who doesn't? The 20-year-olds.

SPEAKER_03 33:23

I don't have 20. We have 25 and 60. 25 to 60. I'm a little deaf. Oh, now you're gonna hit that and say I'm deaf.

SPEAKER_04 33:31

No, I'm a little deaf.

SPEAKER_03 33:32

I'm very deaf.

SPEAKER_04 33:33

I have hearing aids.

SPEAKER_03 33:34

So do I.

SPEAKER_04 33:35

Well, don't have them on right now.

SPEAKER_03 33:37

I don't either.

SPEAKER_04 33:38

Why not?

Why Narcissists Aren’t Happy

SPEAKER_03 33:39

Because I have to get mine like recalibrated after I lost my eardrum. Yes, my eardrum was surgically removed. I'm telling you, like in 10 years, I don't need a car wash or a shower. I just need a WD40 cleaning.

SPEAKER_04 33:54

Oh, you're gonna shower.

SPEAKER_03 33:56

I am one of these people who shower twice a day. Either shower and bath, but I take a shower in the morning to get off the funk from the night, and then I take a bath at night to get rid of the funk from the day and just to decompress. I'm one of these people who want to be clean. Like I believe in being clean, I believe in smelling good. Like I have people come up to me all the time, love the perfume I'm wearing. I am one of these people that believes in being clean. It's just that. It's just, you know, I just can't. That's my I guess that's my pot uh pet peeve is body odor. It's like take two minutes and and get a spray. You know, they even make sprays now for when you poo.

SPEAKER_04 34:39

What?

SPEAKER_03 34:39

When you poo. You it's called poo a ree instead of popourri.

SPEAKER_04 34:47

Are you serious?

SPEAKER_03 34:48

So you spray it and it doesn't smell like uh-uh. No, seriously. And your dad was hilarious because he was telling me Poo a rebout how when he was an officer, how like someone stepped in, he said dog shit, but when he had to go to grand jury, he didn't want to say shit in the grand jury, so he said, and the the perp stepped in a doggy accident. I lost it, it was hilarious, yes, but it's called poo-ri. So you can actually go and get it and spray so those of us like me who come into the bathroom when you're finished don't have burning nose hairs because you stank up the bathroom. How do you say stink? Stank?

SPEAKER_04 35:29

No.

SPEAKER_03 35:29

Stank at the bathroom.

SPEAKER_04 35:31

Oh, it stinks.

SPEAKER_03 35:32

That's the closest English pronunciation of a word I've ever heard you say.

SPEAKER_04 35:36

Did you just say pronunciation? Yeah. Pronunciation. Pronunciation. Who says pronunciation? I do. You just did. It's pronunciation. No. What no what? Say Albany. Albany. Albany. That's why I said Albany.

SPEAKER_03 35:50

No, the other day you said Albany.

SPEAKER_04 35:52

Well, you didn't say to say Albany. Say opioid. No, I'm not saying opioid. I'm not gonna do it. Well, I think we've talked enough about narcissism tonight. I need to go get clean. I feel a little dirty, y'all. From what? From talking about narcissism. That's what we do. We sit here and we we talk about it and we know the individual we're thinking about, so we have them spray.

SPEAKER_03 36:26

It's your side of the family too.

SPEAKER_04 36:28

That's why I said the individuals. Did you say vitals? No. Vittles what we ate tonight. So I'll let my wife take us out.

SPEAKER_03 36:40

I want to know something before you do. Your dad says he eats rabbit. Have you ever had rabbit?

SPEAKER_04 36:46

Oh, yes, I've had rabbit.

SPEAKER_03 36:47

How do you put peter cottontail in your mouth? That is so nasty.

SPEAKER_04 36:52

First, you kill it. Then you skin it.

SPEAKER_03 36:56

Oh my god, I'm so sorry, everybody.

SPEAKER_04 36:58

Blow the skin away.

SPEAKER_03 37:00

Oh my god, Michael. Okay, first it's Bambi.

SPEAKER_04 37:08

We have Bambi downstairs.

SPEAKER_03 37:11

What do you mean we have Bambi downstairs? The stuffed fawn. Okay, I'm talking about killing an actual deer.

SPEAKER_04 37:18

Well, that was probably I don't know what that was, but yes.

SPEAKER_03 37:23

And then I found out the other night that turtle meat? Turtle meat? Turtle soup. How do you eat a turtle? A little baby. Tortoise.

SPEAKER_04 37:35

You don't eat babies. There's not enough meat. You eat the grown-ups.

SPEAKER_03 37:40

Do you have any shame at all? Yes. But okay, what is that nasty quail egg thing you ate?

SPEAKER_04 37:47

Quail egg? What was that? Quail eggs are very rich in protein. They're good.

SPEAKER_03 37:52

What is the egg you ate that was wrong? No, I don't eat regular eggs.

SPEAKER_04 37:56

We'll get oh, we'll get your quail egg.

SPEAKER_03 37:58

No, thank you. What is the egg thing you ate? The duck egg or whatever it was?

SPEAKER_04 38:03

Blood. What? Blood.

SPEAKER_01 38:07

Did you say bullet?

SPEAKER_04 38:08

Blood?

SPEAKER_01 38:09

I don't even know what that is.

SPEAKER_04 38:10

That was an incubated duck egg in the Philippines.

SPEAKER_03 38:14

And what did it taste like?

SPEAKER_04 38:16

Like dog poop.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

When have you eaten dog poop?

Health, Humor, And Wind‑Down

SPEAKER_04 38:19

Tastes like doggy accidents.

SPEAKER_03 38:20

And what have you ever had a doggy accident in your mouth?

SPEAKER_04 38:23

Well, it smelled like I it tastes like what I smelt.

SPEAKER_03 38:26

Why'd you eat it?

SPEAKER_04 38:28

I've never eaten it before.

SPEAKER_03 38:29

I'm gonna leave that alone.

SPEAKER_04 38:31

Ha ha.

SPEAKER_03 38:32

Did you eat it again after that?

SPEAKER_04 38:33

I did not. I shared it with my dog.

SPEAKER_03 38:36

That's disgusting.

SPEAKER_04 38:38

We threw up. It was nasty.

SPEAKER_01 38:41

For you to say it's nasty.

SPEAKER_04 38:43

It was.

SPEAKER_01 38:44

What else have you used?

SPEAKER_04 38:45

Because I had a little duck in there, black feathers, a little beet. Mm-hmm. The egg came out, it's kind of green. Like I said, it was incubated.

SPEAKER_03 38:54

This is a way for you know what? We have just found a way to make people with an appetite suppressor. Because this would make me not want to eat. Have you eaten squirrel?

SPEAKER_04 39:04

Uh absolutely. Chipmunk. Fried dipped in ketchup. Chipmunk. I know. I figure that's kind of like a baby squirrel. Alligator. Not enough, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:14

Have you eaten alligator? Yes. Squid? Yes. Oyster?

SPEAKER_04 39:19

Yes. Raw and steamed.

SPEAKER_03 39:21

Es cargo.

SPEAKER_04 39:22

No. Why wouldn't you eat escar? Who wants to eat a snail?

SPEAKER_01 39:26

Who wants to eat a rabbit?

SPEAKER_04 39:28

Half the our listeners might. No. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

No.

SPEAKER_04 39:33

You wanna put it to a vote?

SPEAKER_01 39:34

No. Because that's I don't even want to read those statistics. I mean, seriously? Have you ever eaten dog?

SPEAKER_04 39:40

No, not that I know of.

SPEAKER_01 39:43

Well, I know you eat cat because you eat Chinese food.

SPEAKER_04 39:45

Ha ha ha, you're hilarious.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

What is the nastiest thing beside that quail thing you've eaten? Well, no female names. How'd you know I was gonna say that name? Because we're always on the same page.

SPEAKER_04 40:00

Uh then I don't have an answer.

SPEAKER_03 40:03

And how can you only name one?

SPEAKER_04 40:05

One female?

SPEAKER_03 40:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 40:07

Kind of left, she kind of left a bad taste in my mouth.

SPEAKER_03 40:11

I could do so much with that comment right there that it's unbelievable.

SPEAKER_04 40:16

Oh Lord. Will you take us out?

SPEAKER_03 40:18

No, you can.

SPEAKER_04 40:19

No, I'm gonna go shower. You need to brush, floss, rinse, and repeat. Just because of our verbiage. Our what? Our verbiage, the way we're talking.

SPEAKER_03 40:30

You put some nasty shit in your mouth. Oh, you're the one over here talking dirty. But I don't put the food in my mouth that that crawls on the floor and is cute and adore like little chicks. They're so cute. Why would you eat one?

SPEAKER_04 40:43

You eat chicken.

SPEAKER_03 40:44

I'm not going to much more. I'm not. I don't eat chicken and turkey. That's it. I have never had a steak. Both yard birds or seafood or I've never had roast beef.

SPEAKER_04 40:57

Those are both yard birds, and they eat shit off the ground all the time.

SPEAKER_03 41:01

You did too when you were single. And we talked about your ex-girlfriends again.

SPEAKER_04 41:10

Thank y'all for listening. To a contagious smile. We'll get back on topic here one day, y'all. Probably not. Thank y'all. Good night.