Coffee Beans, Misheard Words, And A Very Honest Marriage

A Broadway-directing Hollywood powerhouse drops in, tells Michael he’s flat-out wrong about being “bad at podcasting,” and then takes it further by reading Faith’s poem on air. That single moment cracks the whole night open. We talk about what authentic confidence sounds like, why a real voice beats a polished persona, and how the right encouragement can change the way you show up in your work and relationships.

From there, we shift into what influence actually means when the cameras are off: Victoria’s recognition as a top empowered women leader, getting approached by strangers who feel safe, and the quiet responsibility of being someone people trust with trauma stories. We also highlight practical resources through the Contagious Smile Academy, including free and low cost courses and the growing scholarship impact for survivors, veterans, caregivers, amputees, and special needs families. If you’re searching for empowerment coaching, trauma support, survivor education, or authentic podcasting advice, you’ll find plenty to hold onto here.

Then we go where a lot of people are afraid to go: viral teen dating videos, sexualised content for clicks, and what it does to standards, consent, and self-worth. We bring it back to relationships and healing, including why inner character outlasts looks, and how intimacy shows up in small, everyday acts of care. Along the way, we also celebrate our Creepy Coffee partnership and the chaos that comes with a bag of whole beans and two stubborn hosts.

Subscribe, share this with someone who needs a boost, and leave a review with the one takeaway you’re keeping. What part of the conversation hit closest to home?

Transcript

Energy Struggles And A New Sponsor

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Good evening and welcome to another episode of a Contagious Small Unstoppable. You're here with the redhead and the redneck.

SPEAKER_03 0:09

Hi y'all.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Wow. He is trying some new energy stuff. We'll see how this works for him when he starts bouncing off the walls. Apparently, it's not all working yet.

SPEAKER_02 0:24

No, so we uh we have a good friend that has been accommodating us with some new treatment plans. So we're gonna see how it works because I am one of the laziest lethargic men I know. I I fall asleep on a toilet. Toilet driving.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

That's why we don't let them drive anymore.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

I dropped my phone, cracked the screen.

SPEAKER_01 0:47

Actually, let's not say we don't let you drive anymore. You're choosing not to drive because you fall asleep at the wheel, and that's not responsible. So that's your choice. But you'll be in a restaurant and you fall asleep holding a menu. Well, that's because your levels are low. So we have someone who is becoming a lifetime sponsor of us, and she's amazing. And as soon as we, you know, get the rest of the little dot your eyes, cross your tees stuff done, we'll announce everything about her and and her amazing facility to everybody. So you guys can support her as well because she is amazing. We've had a very interesting 48 hours.

SPEAKER_02 1:33

Do tell Victoria.

Amir’s Encouragement And A Poem

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Well, let's see. We had our interview with Amia.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

No, it was not. It was a great conversation.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

It was old friends.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Yes. Well, he and I have been like conversing back and forth for a couple years, right? But never like on a face-to-face, like just in video, like just you know, not as in a Zoom or in an interview or whatever. And it wasn't an interview, he like co-hosted with us, right? But what I thought was great, and it's already out, so you guys can check it. And I haven't told this to my husband, but I'll also release that little clip as a podcast already. So it's on Apple and Amazon and all that, where my husband thought he was gonna get the bro code in his corner, which absolutely did not happen. And he was, you know, saying, you know, somebody needed to hear that, and they were talking, and then he was like, you know, it's kind of like how I don't think I'm good at podcasting, and then Amir was like, Hold on. No, let's talk about this for a minute. Number one, there's two no three things here that you need to know. One, you are fantastic at podcasting, two, you have that voice that's amazing, and three, you have that slang accent that we all want to hear about. And then he goes on talking about how authentic he is and how that is what is so needed in podcasting. And what I love, because I already thought he was fantastic, I didn't think I could like him more than I already do. He ended it with, you need to be podcasting listen to life. He's awesome. So I took that clip of the podcast and I explored, like, I took it out, and I may have already put it out on all of our podcast networks, like Apple, Amazon, Spotify, just that little tidbit. And then I may have put it on Facebook and everywhere else, because it's one thing fantastically to hear someone that you have loved for over a decade as an actor to come on and have a conversation. But then for him to be like in your face, you're wrong, you're amazing at podcasting, you're authentic, you have a great voice, you have a great accent, and to say, listen to your wife, it couldn't get better than that. He did it was fantastic, and then at the end, because I don't want to spoil it, he I was like, I appreciate your time. I didn't want to take advantage of his time, right? Because I understood he had a very small window because he's directing on Broadway and stuff right now, and so he I knew he had a very small window, and I was, you know, and then I was like, I really appreciate your time. He's like, Whoa, what are you doing? And he's like, I want to read one of Faith's poems, and I was like, Oh, okay. And he's like, on air, I want to read my poem on air. Like, my god, he wants to like so we continue. He was like, You should be recording this. I want it in the podcast, right? Like, put it in. So he did, and it was just like we cried. I think he cried like two or three times. We were all crying. He we all made each other cry. It was a triangular crying experience, right? It was so he he was, I didn't think he would be better than he was, but of course, he did, he was amazing, and he was very genuine about everything he talked about.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

You know, it's just we saw a different side of him that we didn't know.

SPEAKER_01 5:08

Well, I told you before we even spoke with him that he was as authentic and genuine and such a gentleman, which there's not that much of anymore. But to have a Hollywood superstar like Amir come on and just be like us, you know, just just like we are, like emotion and authentic and no. And he was talking about things that I was never gonna talk about on air, like never bringing up certain things. And he just and he kept saying, I don't know why I'm doing all this, I don't know why I'm talking about all this. I just feel so good with y'all, like you know, it's gotta be faith. It's gotta be, you know, he was just so he was so real, you know. It was amazing. It was one of the best experiences as a podcast.

SPEAKER_04 5:55

Y'all can go check it out when it gets released.

Recognition, Rankings, And Gratitude

SPEAKER_01 5:57

Yes, and we'll let y'all know when that is. Little tidbits and stuff that's just amazing. And he loves dogs, he's a huge dog rescuer and he's fabulous and fantastic. Anyway, and then Eric Winter from The Rookie, like I get three videos from him. Three. Un dotois, right? Three, and it made a small announcement, not a big announcement, just a small one, which you know, I'm too humbled to talk about. So you can do it.

SPEAKER_02 6:26

You can but my wife was uh awarded the number two position because I'm full of shit. Because I know my biological parents would probably say that's why. You know what? They they wouldn't even be looked upon as the the the cleanup crew of this list. You know that that you're on. My wife came out in number two the number two position of the most influential empowered women leadership of empowerment.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Leadership of empowerment.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

Okay. Now that's that's a big deal, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

Okay and it was announced by Eric Winter from the rookie, Sergeant Bradford.

SPEAKER_02 7:14

I'm very proud of my wife, so y'all y'all be sure to check that out. I'm sure it's on our our website by now.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

It's on Victoria Cure and it's on social media, but it's not on the website, Contagious Smile.

SPEAKER_02 7:27

And my wife doesn't gloat about you know the you know accolades and the accomplishments. I don't that that she's she's achieved or been awarded or nominated or whatever. It it's because of y'all, really. He's starting to sound like me. A little scary. Y'all go on Amazon podcast. We're there, we're we're number one.

SPEAKER_01 7:47

We're like featured, we're the featured podcasts. It's it's been that way multiple times, it's been that way over a dozen times that I've seen.

SPEAKER_02 7:54

Right. I I lost count after five, at least five times. But yeah, it it's it's because of y'all, and we want to thank you.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

You know, what I love is when somebody actually like, you know, we talked about it before when I went and had my mammogram done, that somebody recognized me, right? And and I don't love the fame, and my husband will be the very first person to tell you I don't. I'm not like, you know, I'll go out and comfy clothes and my hair, like just pulled back and you know, next to no makeup on. I don't do the fame thing, like I don't progress. I mean, I don't project that like fame thing. I don't even think I'm famous. Like, I tell this to my husband, I don't think I'm famous.

SPEAKER_02 8:37

You take out the first 14 pages of Google. Oh, it's more than that now, but that's not the point.

SPEAKER_01 8:42

It's not 14. But anyway, so when I went, and I know I mentioned this briefly, when I went and I'm sitting there with these beautiful women that have their destiny waiting in the hands of somebody that's like in the next room with the door shut, reviewing their their films, and somebody says, I know who you are. I can't place you, but I know who you are. And it was like that's what I love, is because that means I'm helping people and people know that I'm there and I'm there to help. Like that's what's really important to me. It's not the not notoriety and the fame and the oh, you know, because it's not, it's knowing that people feel comfort when they see me, that they know that they can come up and talk to me, that you know, I've even been talking lately to a lot more. Now I know my husband's gonna jump all over this. I've been talking, you're not on, hey, you're not on Google, aren't you on Bing?

SPEAKER_02 9:42

Oh, a half a dozen one.

SPEAKER_01 9:44

You're on Bing, you're not on Google, same and the same thing. But and I know my husband's gonna jump in on this. Lately, I've been I've been talking with a lot of men about going through what they've been through and the abuse and the trauma, and it's it's been more lately than I've uh with men than I've spoken with in a long time. And for them to say, I feel so comfortable with you, I feel like I can talk to you, I can trust you. That is what makes me do what I do. Because for anyone who is going through something to know they have a safe space to come to and talk to is the whole reason behind what I do. And my husband isn't even listening to me. I'm gonna shave my head.

SPEAKER_02 10:30

The whole reason behind what I do, I'm gonna shave my head again.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

I did cut my hair for make a wish. Well, I had a three-year-old cut my hair, and she went like straight up into my ear area, but then surgery made me cut all my hair. But my husband's just not paying attention to me. And I know Britney, if she's listening, she's absolutely gonna say, I'm not cutting your hair. Oh, so Eric suggested to Faith, because you know they chat, right? They chat, and she's always asking him for prank ideas. And he told her to either do the chicken dance with you or give me my money. So my great friends, uh Brittany and Danny and and Let me, even though he said Lonnie in a shout-out for her, and Donna and the girls over there, we decided we were gonna do this for Eric because he wanted to see. And so I asked the girls and they did, and I sent it to Eric, so we'll see what he says about that. But and it was so funny because he did a shout-out to to Brittany and to Lainey, but he called her Lonnie. Which I thought was hilarious.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

Okay, I stand corrected on bean.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

I made it up to 23 pages before your name started getting a little muddled. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 11:55

You're so full of it.

SPEAKER_02 11:57

You're still here on IMDb. Well, I'm on IMDB Pro. A lot of your podcasts are still mentioned. Your your first book, Who Kicks First, is mentioned. On page 23. That's just so big. I'm not gonna look at Google.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

It is not so I can see the page numbers. It is not. Freaking way.

Affordable Courses And Scholarship Impact

SPEAKER_02 12:18

No way. I don't want to hear it. Whatever. If any of y'all need help getting your social media, this is the woman to come to because I don't do anything, I'll do that. Get on one of her classes on the Academy, okay? Contagious smile.mn micnancy dot co. And I believe there is a free class in there.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Somewhere, but most of them, I mean, I've looked at some of these classes on other platforms, and they're not done by a top globally ranked podcast. They're not done, you know, but more power to them. I mean, I'm not do you know belittling them in any way, but we have a top global podcast, right? And it's because of the topics and stuff that we discuss. But these some of them are two and three thousand dollars. I mean, it's crazy what some of these people charge. None of ours are anywhere near that. I mean, they're not even several hundred dollars. You know, I and you've told me from the beginning, no, those are for the other courses, like for survivors and and all of the classes for vets, those are all free. And uh for special needs kids, special needs individuals, there's classes for amputees, there's classes for caregivers, there's all of those that are in there. And most of them are free, a few are five dollars. And we are just shy of 600 scholarships given. I mean, that's huge. And now we can say again, we are partnering with Creepy Coffee, they have become a lifetime sponsor. Why did you just turn that on? We've become a partner with lifetime partner with creepy coffee. What you have to question me, I'm a man. That's exactly why I questioned you.

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Question what I do.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Absolutely. You mean what you don't do?

SPEAKER_02 14:02

You asked me why I turned it on.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

It did come on when you hit the button. When you touch that button, it does turn on.

SPEAKER_02 14:08

That's right. That's what I'm good at.

SPEAKER_01 14:12

Playing with a remote control?

SPEAKER_02 14:14

No.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

That's not my button.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

We'll talk about it later.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

I don't have a button with batteries.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

You're you're almost all battery.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

No, I'm on metal, but I don't have like I don't have any double A's or triple A's inserted anywhere, nor will I. No nine volts here.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

Always had a battery in her back that uh provided continuous electrocution.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

And tens units.

SPEAKER_03 14:44

And lots of and that damn thing went faulty.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

Yeah, it's supposed to last like five plus years, they lie.

SPEAKER_02 14:52

And uh now she's back at um, yeah, pain.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

No, yes, out of ten. But I didn't my pain level was like much lower when I had the tens or the spinal stem router.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

So about the creepy coffees.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

Coffee. No, you gotta say it right. It's coffee. I'm gonna teach you.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

All right, let's try it, right? I just tried it. Coffee.

SPEAKER_02 15:18

Coffee.

SPEAKER_03 15:19

Coffee.

SPEAKER_02 15:20

There, I said it. Go upstairs. So I received a mug from our good friend Ed over at Creepy Coffee. Eduardo.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Oh Lord. Sorry guys. He don't because he looks like Cliff from it's not Norm. Norm is the other guy. Cliff is the postman. You got him wrong.

SPEAKER_02 15:41

So I may have broken a mug. It was a skull mug. Over my anvil because I didn't have any coffee in it. Over your what? Anvil. Did you say anvil? Anvil? Anvil.

SPEAKER_03 15:57

Ivy Person? No, an anvil. What the hell is an anvil? Are you an anvil?

SPEAKER_02 16:04

Are you shitting me? An anhill. It's an advil anvil. It's the things that I got down there, I make all the shit on. Shit. You make shit on an anvil. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 16:24

It's the big hunk of metal in the middle of the workshop. You can't find anything in your workshop because it's all clustered.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

It's like a hoarder home.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

Everything is chaotically organized, right?

SPEAKER_01 16:35

Flutter home in your workshop. Okay. Case in point, true or false. We got Faith a desk a little back for her to go down there and draw and work on her stuff. But you have never that child to go down there and even work on that desk because you have bombarded it with your shit. True or false.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

She can come down there.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

She can't work on the desk.

SPEAKER_02 16:57

But she can come down there.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

She cannot work.

SPEAKER_02 17:00

I said, did you or did you not bombard that desk with your shit? Did we buy purchase a desk? I said true.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

Okay. Now is that shit bombarded with your shit? Is that desk bombarded with your shit?

SPEAKER_02 17:11

It is.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

So true. Thank you. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 17:16

Yeah, you can't be right 100% of the time.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

I sleep randomly.

SPEAKER_03 17:20

I randomly sleep. So creepy coffees. We're going to okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:26

I want you to visualize Eddie when he goes I want you to close your eyes. And close your eyes, and I want you to visualize Eddie. Don't think it's hysterical because I talk to her all the time. And you you take your fingers like you're Italian, and you go, coffee. It's coffee time. We're gonna have some coffee talk. It's coffee. And use guys gotta get it right. It's use guys. You know what? Irrelevant. Like people don't realize that I'm from here. I don't talk like I'm from here. You talk like you're from here, but I don't. Amir said you absolutely sound like a redneck southern boy.

SPEAKER_02 18:05

Okay, you got a point.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Again, say you're right, baby. Okay. Let's hear it. Let's go.

SPEAKER_03 18:14

That's not what you do to a dog. That's not what you do to a dog. You do not! What do you do? Oh, yeah, that's right. You do that. Okay, coffee. Coffee.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

With your advil. Because it's all metal and I can't. And I even have like beside my 26 pieces of metal in my face, I have metal on behind both top and bottom teeth. Probably.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

That's sexy. Whatever. What she used to say? That's hot.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

I hate her. Don't even talk about I I can't stand Paris Hilton because she is just so like, what has she done?

SPEAKER_02 18:56

I don't know, but we're talking about creepy coffee.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

Yeah. Okay, now I can understand why Paris Hilton would be brought into this conversation.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

So thanks, Ed. Eddie. So I get I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

And then he goes back to sleep till 1 30 p.m. I go, I go fix my coffee. How do you say it? Coffee. Coffee. It's coffee. Get the filter, fill up the water. Right? I grabbed my fresh bag of creepy coffees. Coffee.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

It took 30 seconds.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

30 seconds. And I didn't even look inside. I just opened it up and smelt it. Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Smells so good.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

It smelled good. Amazing, right? And then I look down inside and it's full of beans.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

That sounds like you have to have a Mexican. That's next.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

And I'm scrambling around the kitchen looking for a damn grinder. Right? I see find my grinder. I'll think I'll think you threw that bastard away. No, you told me that your pink daughter stole it. Probably did. That's what you said on your own accord. You said she stole it. Oh, you don't want to say competitor name? No. We're just saying D. Well, pretty soon here we're gonna be selling creepy coffees. I almost said it right. Oh, coffees? Yeah, so.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

Who said we're gonna start? We haven't had that conversation in entirely yet.

SPEAKER_03 20:23

Like we're not gonna sell the coffee.

SPEAKER_01 20:24

Oh Lord. My husband is one of those people that's like, I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna squall!

SPEAKER_03 20:29

I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna squall.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

Maybe true. I'll bring Faith up here.

SPEAKER_00 20:40

Check that out.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Where will we be, love?

SPEAKER_01 20:50

I will be on the cover of Unstoppable Women Magazine.

SPEAKER_02 20:54

I'll be under the covers in Magstab Arizona.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

Send me a postcard.

SPEAKER_02 20:59

No.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

Oh, I'm speaking at that, right?

SPEAKER_02 21:02

That's right, you are. You're speaking. I'm speaking. And that's October.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

Turned! You're supposed to know these things. No, that's in July. That's a different one.

SPEAKER_02 21:15

Do you see why I have you around?

SPEAKER_01 21:17

Now you're making a fat comment?

SPEAKER_02 21:19

No, keep me straight.

SPEAKER_01 21:21

Hey, if you want to try, I know some gay people that would love to take a turn at that botwurst. Hey, you're the one who talked about little cartgown, weanie, which is so not true. Just saying.

SPEAKER_02 21:32

Don't go back there.

SPEAKER_01 21:33

No, botwurst, I won't.

SPEAKER_02 21:35

Are you serious? Shut up.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

You see how it speaks to me?

SPEAKER_03 21:41

I mean go ahead. Oh, let's open this up.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

Oh, yeah, come on. Let's go ahead. Ah, I cannot. Wait, let's go.

SPEAKER_02 21:50

You're the one over there sitting there demanding not to say that you're right.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

I didn't say demand it. I just really again.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

Say it again.

SPEAKER_01 21:58

That's because I wasn't. I'm deaf. So now you're making Fun of my impairment. Now you're making fun of my impairment because I'm hearing impaired.

SPEAKER_02 22:03

You made fun of my sleep impairment.

New Treatment Plan And Couple Comedy

SPEAKER_01 22:05

That's lazy. That's not sleep impairment. No, it's not a medical condition. No, it's not. And we've had many people tell you that.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

And we have one that's helping me.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

Right. But she's not a doctor.

SPEAKER_02 22:17

Well, she plays one on TV.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

She's not on TV.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

She could be. According to you, she's beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 22:25

She's stunning. I think she's absolutely beautiful inside and out. She's absolutely beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

My wife tells me.

SPEAKER_01 22:31

Do not fall in love with her.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

How do you take that?

SPEAKER_01 22:36

Because you used to like long black hair, darker skin, and she has both. And she's gorgeous. She's absolutely beautiful inside and out. I just felt such a connection to her when I sat down and had a conversation with her the first time. And we bonded over so much because we have such similar stories in so many ways. And she's just an amazing spirit. She's an amazing woman. Like, really, you know, and I came back and I was came home and I was like, this woman is flawless. She's amazing. She is so big-hearted and so just I mean, like, I can't say the word amazing enough. She's beautiful inside and out. She's one of these people that when you look at her, you're envious, number one. And number two, when you get to know her and you see her heart, it makes her untouchable. Like she's flawless to the core. And I think beauty comes from the inside out.

SPEAKER_02 23:41

Okay, I I will I will stop you there and agree. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

But the I think beauty comes from the inside out, right? And I think that just puts her at a whole other range of beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 23:52

Okay, but I'm not stupid enough to say another woman's more beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

You say it to me all the time. Who? You told me before that women are like whoo-hoo-hoo, whatever. Did you say on the last on the last podcast that you had like eight women at a time, including me and the first wife? That's in the past. But you said you had them for lust.

SPEAKER_02 24:14

Yeah, but that's when I was younger. But this this this woman is is beautiful on the inside to me. Okay. Not last time because no one will compare to you. Would you just throw up?

SPEAKER_03 24:26

Yeah, I did. Right in my mouth. If I give you a compliment, you show it off. I don't take compliments very well. You've known this forever. Like forever.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

Thank you for confirming that I give you compliments forever.

SPEAKER_01 24:40

No, I did well, I didn't say you did them consistently, but it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

You said forever.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

And what I love also about this woman is she put you in your place, which I think is phenomenal. Like it's awesome. She put you in your place quick. Like you started to fall asleep in front of her, and she's like, Boy, you better wake the hell up.

unknown 24:54

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

That's that's crazy, right?

SPEAKER_01 24:56

Yeah, and she was like, you know, wake the hell up. And then she was like, Oh, don't be a big puss. And like that wasn't the actual word she chose. She chose one with a couple other letters at the end of it. That was phenomenal. Like, oh, you know, I'm telling you, like, she is right as ring.

SPEAKER_02 25:12

So and then when I gave her my arm, she said, No, I'm gonna stick it in your ass. That was great. You had to drop chow.

SPEAKER_01 25:21

I think she said she said, she said, you need to shave your ass. And I was like, I think I just fell in love. Because she said you need to shave your ass.

SPEAKER_02 25:37

I don't I don't care. You I'm not shaving my ass for any other woman. Would you shave it for me?

SPEAKER_03 25:42

I'm not shaving my ass. I did it once. But you so what you're saying is that number one I love you.

SPEAKER_01 25:48

Are you in love with me? I'm in love with you. But you shaved it for number one, but you won't shave it for me. So you would do that for her, but not for me. I just want to make sure we're on the right.

SPEAKER_02 25:58

I'll let you shave one small shrimp. That's it. Shave it or wax it? No. No, I've already had wax on my back.

SPEAKER_03 26:05

That's that's can I shave your back? No. I'll shave it, not wax it. How about no, no, and no? Please? No.

SPEAKER_01 26:11

But you do it for number one, but not for me.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

No, I do it for you.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

But you let her wax your ends.

SPEAKER_02 26:18

That's when I was young and dumb.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Okay, so well, you're not young anymore, but why can't I do it?

SPEAKER_02 26:25

Because no.

SPEAKER_01 26:26

You just said I could. I have it recorded.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

No, I said you could shave a small strip.

SPEAKER_03 26:30

I'm a buttop.

SPEAKER_01 26:33

But if I'm willing to like lather up your back and wax your back, why? I won't. I'm not gonna play music and get a marching band. I'm just saying, why can't I? She even said you needed to. She's like, you had the hairiest ass. And she said, I see ass all day long, but your ass is weird. She said you could rip that shit.

SPEAKER_02 26:57

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 27:04

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

Alright. Well. So we'll let y'all know how it goes. I'm hoping it it will greatly, greatly increase my energy level. Growth?

SPEAKER_03 27:21

You don't need that.

SPEAKER_02 27:22

Not growth, darling.

unknown 27:24

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 27:28

Now I gotta be ill too. I'm not old as you.

SPEAKER_02 27:33

Really?

SPEAKER_03 27:34

You're older than me. Hey, you have a birthday coming up.

unknown 27:37

Oh shit, I do darling.

SPEAKER_03 27:38

You do.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

I'm almost 60.

SPEAKER_03 27:41

You're not. Damn near there. No, you're not.

SPEAKER_02 27:47

You're not. What else happened this week? What movie did you and Faith watch? We watched some uh Killer Ballerinas.

SPEAKER_03 27:58

What?

SPEAKER_02 27:58

Oh yeah, they were they were they were awesome.

SPEAKER_01 28:00

Y'all watch the most screwed up movie choices. And you know what? Faith will agree with me that like her what I love is that none of us are rom coms. But you like if I cannot sleep. No, I don't. You do? Who which girl do you think you're talking to? Because I did not like to watch the Titanic. Cause you thought her and I had the same color hair. That's it. No. No. However, you're like, well, babe, you can't sleep. Do you want me to pick a movie for you? Because his shit is like what was my deaf ass heard that. I don't even know what that was. What was that? Okay, hold on. So he watches these, like, what do they call them? Like B-rated? Is that what they're calling? It should be F-rated. Like, I've never even heard. Why are you texting me?

SPEAKER_02 29:01

I'm texting her.

SPEAKER_01 29:02

That's mine.

SPEAKER_02 29:03

Will you get out of my business woman?

SPEAKER_01 29:05

Well, it's kind of hard when I see my fat face on your phone. You see, he says nothing. Watch. Whose phone's about to go off? Mine. This is when he's gonna say I was right again. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Like the shows you watch. I've never even heard of them. And okay, so and Amir did say something about that to me. He was like, okay, what's your guilty pleasure? What do you like watching when you know no one else is around? No. He's like, Do you like the real housewipes? Do you watch whatever? And I'm like, I don't get to watch TV, I don't get that luxury because I'm always working. And Stucco is in here, by the way. Stucco, come here, baby. Come say hi, baby. Come here. So, what has Stucco done to you lately? Because it's always fun to hear Stucco stories. He pushes you off.

SPEAKER_02 30:02

He's just a very, very jealous pepper.

SPEAKER_01 30:04

What's he jealous of?

SPEAKER_02 30:06

Of my affection towards you. I can't even touch my wife in bed. Now, don't read into that too much. But you know, when you let you get in bed, you you know, you're you're done for the day and the night, you turn off the lights and you reach over to try to find your wife or your your husband and go to catch my wife you know on the mouth or the forehead. I love her and all that cuteness and sweetness. And my dog her damn dog will come running up in between us. I love it, and he will get right up in between us and push my ass away from my wife. Like paw push. He paw pushes, don't you, baby? He is so jealous and insecure. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 30:56

It's not insecure. This dog is not insecure at all. He just knows he loves his money.

SPEAKER_03 31:03

Nose to nose. Nose to nose on my cold pillow. He has his own on my wife's side. He has his own.

SPEAKER_01 31:13

He has to stay cold. So he has a cold pillow and a cold blanket, and he faces me. And we sleep nose to nose. Oh, before, let's let's talk about a couple things. Number one, so not only that, there's a study that was done that says if your wife sleeps on her side, then you have a warrior. And I'm not just saying me, like this was an actual study I I read that your wife is always ready to protect. That's why she's on her side, so she can jump up to get up and go, and she's there to protect you. She's fiercely loyal. Like it was a really cool read. And I just thought that was fascinating because I sleep on my side. So now that you're looking at me like you have just had your ass waxed.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

Well, they got one in three chances to describe you. What do you mean, one in three? You got your side, your stomach, or your back. There's no other way to sleep.

SPEAKER_01 32:12

Oh, you can fall asleep on your chest. I could fall asleep laying on you.

SPEAKER_02 32:18

That was That's your dog.

Viral Teen Videos And Lost Standards

SPEAKER_01 32:22

Okay. Remember the video I showed you? I said I definitely do not want to forget mentioning this on air. I showed you, they have all these. I always have music or videos playing in the background while I'm working, right? And one of them got my attention, so I stopped what I was doing and I went on there to look at this. And it was three young 17, 18-year-old boys wearing masks or eye masks. Do you remember? And they had four girls, and they had to go over, and each girl had to kiss each boy, and then they ranked them by their kissing style. So let's say you have Amy Bells, Charlotte, and Dorothy, A B C D. So Amy goes over and kisses Bob and Cody and David, right? So the first girl will go over and kiss the three boys. Then the next girl comes over and kisses the three boys. And this just keeps going. And you see, he's trying to text her and he texts me again. So anyway, so I show this to my husband. And I was like, first of all, oh my god, can you imagine us as parents watching like Faith? Oh no, no, no, no, no. On the contraire, Mon frère. Like, these are young girls who are walking up and like tonsil hawking these boys, like grabbing them, making them, you know, are my boobs real? Are they not? Feel, grab, touch, tell me what you think. And then they're posting these videos up there of it. I mean, what are your thoughts about this? Because I was just mortified.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

That's that's just stupid to I don't know, to lower your standards like that.

SPEAKER_01 34:24

It was based not on looks, it was based only on your kissing style, right?

SPEAKER_02 34:29

And if you were gonna be good and bad or not.

Attraction, Trauma, And Inner Beauty

SPEAKER_01 34:31

Yeah, they asked for their favorite sexual position, and then they had another one where the girls are behind like a drape, and it had a guy, and he could ask questions, and then like it showed like piece by piece of the girls, and they were all in either short shorts or like a booty shorts or like booty mini skirt. Most of them had low, low cut top on with no bra. They're bouncing up and down, and it's like these are young kids, right? And they're all, I mean, is nobody afraid of like STDs or or anything anymore, and everything is based on the physicality, and that's what just you know, because somebody I would rather go out, and I know this is about to get turned on me. You okay, I'm gonna back that up. You can go out with a picture perfect GQ, whatever. Like when I dated my husband back in 1810, he used to say to me, I don't understand why you're not with a corporate person. I don't understand why you're not with a lawyer or a doctor or somebody who is in the corporate world like you, and you know, whatever the case may be. But the point is that they were boring to me. Like I never wanted the slim kin, a Barbie and Ken looking guy. Like, never was I attracted to that, ever. I like tall, bigger guys, I like blue, green eyes, I don't like the brown eyes, it's just me. It's my personal preference, right? But then when I get to know somebody, if they are physically attractive and they open their mouth and they're just disgusting on the inside, then they become wretched to me. If you're you know, because I got over to the point where like it's about the inside because looks can fade. You can look at me, you could look at me and the fact that like when we dated, I had hearing in both ears, I had both eardrums, right? I had two hands, two arms, and I was scar-free, and I was top heavy, and I had like I was obsessed with working out, and now I only have one eardrum, I am completely profoundly deaf in one ear and pretty deaf in the other. I only have one and a half arms, one hand, I'm all metal, and as I have been told numerous times, I look like a roadmap of scars, and you're more beautiful now than you were then. Then explain how that is to you. Why am I more beautiful now than I was then?

SPEAKER_02 37:23

How many people did you help back then?

SPEAKER_01 37:25

A lot. I would still help people.

SPEAKER_02 37:28

You had somebody write into you and said, No, but this is film.

SPEAKER_01 37:32

Okay, hold on though, but that wasn't available back then.

SPEAKER_02 37:34

You said you wanted to go here.

SPEAKER_01 37:35

Great, let's go here. But I didn't have we didn't have the capability of a lot like social media back then. We had like MySpace, and that's it. That's all we have is MySpace. Right. We only had MySpace, we didn't have and emails.

SPEAKER_02 37:49

What the hell is MySpace?

SPEAKER_01 37:51

Right, and emails, right? That was it or text messages. But okay, when you would be in one of my classes at the academy and anybody needed help, I always stay in help. I'd always offer to help figure out what they didn't understand or how they didn't grasp it the certain way. And I would try to help them learn so that they could get where they needed to get to. You know, if somebody had a question of how to do stuff, I would always help. You know, I did self-defense for women. These are classes that I taught. I didn't charge. I still, you know, I volunteered. I did a whole bunch of stuff for free, you know, for different charities and things of that nature. I did, I just did it in a different way than now.

SPEAKER_02 38:27

Right. So out of out of all the hundreds, I don't know, maybe thousands of officers you you you trained, you talked, okay, civilians who went to teach first aid in CPR at hotels, and then you come back and say what a meaningful impact your your life lessons, your training, your coaching, your teaching had on my life. Yes. Because how many numerous emails have you got reviews? Have you seen it? You don't want those, but how many years under Cretaceous Smile have you received? Wait, but back then, I used to get painful is your your your mission now, as opposed to then.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

Well, I also wasn't someone who had gone through domestic violence back then. And this is right. But I used to have officers come up and say, I use the techniques you taught me. I was choking myself. I literally I was choking myself in the squad car. I didn't know what to do, and you taught me. And that's not something that I ever heard in any other in-service training. Or, you know, I responded to a medical call. I was first responder, I was first on scene waiting on paramedics to roll up. And I did what you said, and I saved a baby. I saved an adult, you know, I did whatever. And I heard that not constantly, not all the time, but I did hear it frequently. Or some of the techniques you showed me, or some of the, you know, self-defense things that you showed me helped save my life when I went to a call and I got in a fight, you know, because those things I would stay after class all the time and I would show other things. You know, I was the notorious one that nobody ever found all the weapons on me when we would do in-service, or they would do, you know, when you go to the academy, you have to do like they have like Hell Week where you have to pass your scenarios and you have to come in and de-escalate the situation, and you have officer survival, and you have to go up and and knock on a door and you don't know what you're gonna get behind the door. And these are all role-playing in the academy, and nobody ever found all my weapons because I would hide them in places they would never know, you know, or how to search a woman if you don't have a woman officer to respond, where you would be safe and not be accused of fondling or anything like that. People would say to me, you know, you taught me where to look in places I would never look before, how to to check a woman and not be accused of sexual harassment. I mean, those are things, you know, that if you take the time to help somebody, more than just the, okay, here's the power slides, and I can't pronounce half the words because we know someone who did that, then you just do what you do, and then you, you know, do your form and sign and get your credit hours, and that's it. Yeah, I had people come up and say that because I did try to help as much as I could. But that's not, I don't think that's the same thing. That's I mean, that's still like apples to oranges, but they're both fruit, but it's just totally a different fruit.

SPEAKER_02 41:18

But it's the same tree.

SPEAKER_01 41:20

No, because an apple tree can't produce an orange.

SPEAKER_02 41:26

Woman, listen to me.

SPEAKER_01 41:28

That now you're making for my hearing impairment again.

SPEAKER_02 41:31

Okay, look at me.

SPEAKER_01 41:32

I'm looking at you, I'm reading your lips.

SPEAKER_02 41:36

Really? I'm gonna cover them up.

SPEAKER_01 41:37

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 41:38

You want to sign? You are just as beautiful then and even more so now. Right. Your scars didn't make you more beautiful. You were beautiful then? You're more beautiful now. In different ways. Okay. I knew you back then a little bit. Now I know you much more, and that's not a fat joke. Would you say we're more intimate and don't if you say sexually, I swear.

SPEAKER_00 42:06

What are you gonna do?

SPEAKER_02 42:07

Take it to better.

SPEAKER_01 42:10

We are always on the same page. I mean, and I know we say that so many times, but literally, like at least how many, I mean, I would say safely three or four times a day that we are right on the oh Lord, that we literally are on the exact same page. But see, to me, intimacy isn't just sexual. To me, intimacy is holding hands, the kiss on the forehead, the you know, the helping me up when we're leaving a restaurant, and you know, and it's not because yeah, you take my hand and you pull me up. It's not because I'm 600 pounds, 598, but not 600.

SPEAKER_02 42:45

I'm glad you recognized me.

SPEAKER_01 42:47

I'm glad you just said I'm 598 pounds.

SPEAKER_02 42:49

I didn't say that. You didn't say I wasn't. You said you were 600.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

Excuse me. I said I wasn't 600, but 598.

SPEAKER_02 42:56

In fact, that's the only number I've heard from you.

SPEAKER_01 42:58

Oh lord. Oh, excuse me. When we had Mexican, you didn't open the door for me. Don't tell me about chivalry. Open that door the vehicles door.

SPEAKER_02 43:06

Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 43:07

Uh okay. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm. Easter. Did you get a nice Easter gift?

SPEAKER_02 43:15

Woman I swear. So even if you dated, every time we have for the chick.

SPEAKER_01 43:26

Every time we dated, I made sure he would get gifts. And even when we were just friends after, I would make sure he got gifts.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

Yeah, you are. You are. Now I have given you a gift and surprise you once in a decade. Right? Didn't I give you a gift here recently?

SPEAKER_01 43:46

You're looking really hard for it. I am. Let me know when you find it. Huh?

SPEAKER_02 43:51

What was it?

SPEAKER_01 43:52

I'm still waiting on you to figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 43:54

Oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 43:57

Keep looking. Those are all for me.

SPEAKER_02 44:00

I didn't get you that Mickey Mouse.

SPEAKER_01 44:01

No, those are all from Faith.

SPEAKER_02 44:03

I get you that Mickey Mouse jersey for Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 44:07

No.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

I'm in trouble, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 44:12

Hey, you know, Faith saw one at Costco, and it's a it's a Mickey Mouse Letterman jacket. And I was just like, no, mm-mm. Cause that's like, you know, like the high school.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

Did you all right? That's enough about us. Another world started hearing about us. No, they don't, they love us. We have a we have a great life, great relationship. We have you know, Petey. Because upon the infidelity I was doing, and then it did not end well, but it ended well, so to speak.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

No, because we're not ending. So how are you saying it ended well?

SPEAKER_02 44:52

Well, we got back together.

SPEAKER_01 44:53

Then that's not ending.

SPEAKER_02 44:55

And it began.

SPEAKER_01 44:56

Then that doesn't make sense. Welcome to my world. Is that what what is it like trying to understand me having a conversation with me?

SPEAKER_02 45:05

Are you serious?

SPEAKER_01 45:07

Yeah.

Misheard Words And Real Communication

SPEAKER_02 45:10

Oh god, okay. Trying to have a conversation with you is like hey Bob, you wanna sit down, play a game of tick or chip or chest, whatever this board thing is called? Sure. By the way, my name's not Bob, it's Bobby Fisher.

SPEAKER_01 45:32

I'm not even following this conversation. This dialect isn't even making sense to me.

SPEAKER_02 45:38

Can you play chest? Chest? Chest.

SPEAKER_03 45:43

You mean chess?

SPEAKER_02 45:44

The board game, chest.

SPEAKER_03 45:46

It's chess. That's what I said. Not chest. I'm not talking about your tah. I can play checkers.

SPEAKER_01 45:56

I can play which I took you to see if you don't remember.

SPEAKER_02 45:59

Does it sound like I'm saying chest?

SPEAKER_01 46:01

With a T, yes.

SPEAKER_02 46:02

Chest.

SPEAKER_01 46:03

See?

SPEAKER_02 46:04

Chest.

SPEAKER_01 46:05

Chess.

SPEAKER_02 46:07

That sounds the same to me. Chess.

SPEAKER_03 46:09

Oh Lord. I can play checkers. Anyway. Genius.

SPEAKER_02 46:14

Chess chess.

SPEAKER_03 46:15

Chess.

unknown 46:16

No.

SPEAKER_03 46:16

What does that have? I still don't understand how this makes no relevant sense to me.

SPEAKER_02 46:21

I'm trying to talk to you in my 18-word sentence. The third word, you've already answered the question. You formulated three other questions behind. That's the word for you. What? Formulate it. And then you move on to another topic. Okay. I'm slow, y'all. I know. I talk slow, I read slow, I'm the slow one. That's fine. Okay, I'm okay with that. No, you definitely used to be the fast. I have the number two wife. Okay? So y'all can suck it.

SPEAKER_03 46:54

Wow. Okay. Add to that behavior. Well, I mean, kiss my ass. I have. Shave it.

SPEAKER_02 47:05

My best friend in front of me.

SPEAKER_01 47:08

Would you do anything for me?

SPEAKER_02 47:09

I would do anything to you. What uh for you say what? For you?

SPEAKER_03 47:13

Would you do anything for me?

SPEAKER_02 47:15

I woman, I gave you one chance.

SPEAKER_03 47:18

One chance what? To shave my one small strip of my ass. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 47:22

I'm not talking about shaving your ass. No, I already said I'd do it. No, I'll wax my back again. To wax your back. It was Abby and Faith that waxed your back. It was not me. I didn't get to partake in that. I wasn't involved in that.

unknown 47:37

Abby.

SPEAKER_04 47:38

Abby Debbie.

SPEAKER_01 47:41

I love Abby. I love her. And I'll have her on the show too because she's so much fun.

SPEAKER_02 47:47

I know our audience is like, oh good. It's been another year.

SPEAKER_01 47:51

Hey, I love Abby. She says that like Faith and I are the best family ever. Ever.

unknown 48:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 48:02

You love her. She's so much fun. You just did.

SPEAKER_02 48:06

No.

SPEAKER_01 48:07

You did. You did.

SPEAKER_02 48:11

What else you got on the menu?

SPEAKER_03 48:13

Shaving you. No, we're not shaving, Michael. Why not? I'm not a dog.

SPEAKER_02 48:19

You used to be. I used to be. I'm not anymore.

SPEAKER_03 48:22

Why can't I shave your back? No, no, baby darling hun. Your chest.

SPEAKER_02 48:27

No, I like my three gray chest hairs.

SPEAKER_03 48:29

There's not three. And they're long enough to braid.

SPEAKER_02 48:33

Maybe there's five.

SPEAKER_03 48:34

There is there skin under it?

SPEAKER_02 48:36

There's skin. Can I not as bad as Robin Williams?

SPEAKER_01 48:41

Who is no longer on this planet? Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 48:43

Well, he's he's he's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 48:45

He's deceased. I know, but he's still awesome. He was awesome. You need to say it correctly.

SPEAKER_02 48:50

He still is.

SPEAKER_01 48:51

He was awesome in everything he did. He he was amazing. He was in everything he did. I never saw anything he ever did that was bad. But again, I haven't seen like okay. Let me ask you this.

SPEAKER_02 49:04

If I die, or when I die, are you gonna say my husband? Or you're gonna say my deceased husband.

SPEAKER_01 49:12

My husband was amazing.

SPEAKER_02 49:14

That's what you're gonna say?

SPEAKER_01 49:15

Because I'm not gonna think of you as an ex.

SPEAKER_02 49:17

You're not gonna think of me still here. I'm gonna halt your ass.

SPEAKER_01 49:20

Good luck with that, because I won't be doing anything bad.

SPEAKER_02 49:23

I didn't say you were gonna be, oh, guilty? You're guilty now?

SPEAKER_01 49:26

Oh lord.

SPEAKER_02 49:27

What do you got planned? What's his name? What's his software?

Movies, Workloads, And Wrapping Up

SPEAKER_01 49:31

Oh, you have no room to talk. None. Nada. Zip zero zip. But I did realize there's a lot of movies of uh of uh Robin Williams I haven't seen. Well yeah, I never s I've never seen Good Morning Vietnam.

SPEAKER_02 49:46

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 49:50

I've never seen what's the other one? Goodwill hunting.

SPEAKER_02 49:56

Really? That's right up your alley.

SPEAKER_00 49:59

What's the other one? There's a bunch of hiss, I guess I haven't seen.

SPEAKER_02 50:07

Wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 50:08

Well, we're about to get on it. I don't get to watch movies. Well, it's only midnight.

SPEAKER_01 50:15

Well, I only have four interviews tomorrow that I'm on, four shows I'm on tomorrow. So yeah, I'm not watching a movie tonight.

SPEAKER_02 50:23

Well, darling, let's wrap this up. Tell our listeners good night and good morning.

SPEAKER_01 50:28

Well, I will tell you that I did have a what do you call it? A hunkering? What is it?

SPEAKER_02 50:36

A what?

SPEAKER_01 50:37

A hankering? What is it? What do you call it?

SPEAKER_02 50:40

What is a hunkering?

SPEAKER_01 50:41

I don't know. It's the same thing as an advil. Anvils. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 50:47

Something on the who, you know, for Dr. Seuss. No, our honest, our audience has already been told you're deaf. What you thought you heard chest. You did say chest. And I said chest.

SPEAKER_01 51:01

Hold on. Joshua says every time he hears you talk redneck. And the words that you think you say are not what you say.

SPEAKER_02 51:10

Well, I got something for Dr. Joe there.

SPEAKER_01 51:12

It's not a Dr. Joe. He doesn't like you calling him that.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

Is he a doctor?

SPEAKER_01 51:16

He's a PA.

SPEAKER_02 51:18

Isn't that a doctor?

SPEAKER_01 51:19

Oh lord. See, that's my point, chest. It's chest. It's chest.

SPEAKER_03 51:24

Chest. He does doctorally shit. He's not a doctor.

SPEAKER_02 51:31

Isn't that right under a doctor?

SPEAKER_01 51:32

It is under, but he doesn't have the MD initials. He has PA initials.

SPEAKER_02 51:39

Doesn't he substitute as a doctor?

SPEAKER_03 51:41

Oh good God. No, it's not the same thing. He doesn't write prescriptions? Yes, he does. That's what a doctor does.

SPEAKER_01 51:50

I don't write prescriptions.

SPEAKER_02 51:52

And you're a doctor.

SPEAKER_01 51:54

So the relevance is not pointing here. The point I'm trying to make here is that other people say you talk a little funny and your words over there down yonder in the cona. Is it a kona? Don't make a hill of beans.

SPEAKER_02 52:11

What a kind of snow corner.

SPEAKER_03 52:13

What did you just say? What are you saying? A kona? Kona. What's right there? With the walls of meat? It's a kona.

SPEAKER_01 52:19

It's corner. You're a dick.

SPEAKER_04 52:21

Because you say, I have never heard you say corner.

SPEAKER_01 52:32

I've never heard you say that. Coffee. Coffee.

SPEAKER_02 52:37

We're going to have a good time. Out to honor with Ed and Dr. It's Eddie. I said no, you say Eduardo. It's Eduardo or Ed.

SPEAKER_03 52:46

It's Eddie and Don.

SPEAKER_02 52:50

I can't wait.

SPEAKER_01 52:52

And you're going to be in a dress.

SPEAKER_02 52:54

I'm not wearing a dress.

SPEAKER_01 52:55

Eddie already said so.

SPEAKER_02 52:58

If he wears ashless chaps, I'll wear a kilt.

SPEAKER_01 53:02

You have to wear something under your kilt.

SPEAKER_02 53:06

He he has to wear nothing under his assless chaps. He would not?

SPEAKER_01 53:11

That he's going to wear ashless chaps. So you have to wear something under your kilt. Or if you do not, when I'm on stage, I will wear.

SPEAKER_02 53:25

I have to go buy a kilt.

SPEAKER_01 53:27

A bodysuit in blue jeans. It is a horror thing. And I'm the creep keeper, so it'll be great.

SPEAKER_02 53:38

You're hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 53:39

Right? Just like, you know, somebody with really I could scare children. All the scars and stuff. I could be Captain Hook's twin sister created by Freddie Krueger.

SPEAKER_02 53:55

No.

SPEAKER_01 53:55

Why not?

SPEAKER_02 53:56

You're too gorgeous.

SPEAKER_01 53:57

Negative. No. I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 54:03

Anyway.

SPEAKER_01 54:03

Your puppy just peed again.

SPEAKER_02 54:06

I've got work to do, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 54:10

So Faith is downstairs. We have the puppy cam, so we can see the pups. And Faith is just like still in her pajamas. My husband is still in his pajamas.

SPEAKER_03 54:20

I took a shower. But you're still in your pajamas. These are different pajamas.

SPEAKER_01 54:25

I don't stay in pajamas.

SPEAKER_02 54:27

Give me a nightman right there.

SPEAKER_01 54:29

But he like goes out and does things and he works.

SPEAKER_02 54:32

Well, I stayed at home and worked.

SPEAKER_01 54:35

On sleeping? You were sleeping two hours ago. Again.

SPEAKER_02 54:39

I did three hours of laser engraving today.

SPEAKER_01 54:41

You mean you push the button, set a stage thing, and hit go?

SPEAKER_02 54:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 54:45

That's not working. That's like you push less buttons to engrave than you do to microwave dinner.

SPEAKER_02 54:52

I'm gonna push your button.

SPEAKER_01 54:53

No, you're not. I have a headache. So Faith is sitting down there with her boots on that they're her gothic alternative boots. And it's 12 o'clock at night. She's watching the boob tube.

SPEAKER_02 55:10

She's watching Grimm.

SPEAKER_01 55:12

What?

SPEAKER_02 55:12

Grim.

SPEAKER_01 55:13

What's Grimm?

SPEAKER_02 55:14

It's a supernatural show.

SPEAKER_01 55:16

No, she's not. Not my kid. She's not watching that baloney.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

Oh, it's about werewolves, uh, vampires.

SPEAKER_01 55:24

And she's watching while the puppies are trying to sleep in their little kennels. They don't have kennels, they have big playpen things, and they are just chilling, and they're still puppies, so they have to go out every couple of hours, and they uh just peed.

SPEAKER_02 55:47

Shall I take a stop?

SPEAKER_01 55:48

Go ahead. River did a river.

unknown 55:50

Thanks.

SPEAKER_00 55:52

It's probably like she walked in it with her paws, too. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_02 55:56

Anyway, y'all congratulate Victoria on her another accomplishment. Blah blah blah blah and she acts like I don't give a damn. Because I don't get it. I give a damn, it's busted. Like my puppies do. I give a damn busted. But uh y'all congratulate her for yet again. Something spectacular. And like I said, it's because of y'all. You know, she gives her heart and soul and everything she does here. So thank you, Victoria. Congratulations, Victoria. We love you, Victoria. Go, Mike, Michael, happy in the bedroom, Victoria. They said that.

SPEAKER_03 56:37

They didn't say that. They said that.

SPEAKER_01 56:38

They said, wow, Victoria, you need a good night's sleep.

SPEAKER_02 56:42

Are you serious? Yeah, that's what they said.

SPEAKER_00 56:45

I say I look like ass. Only if I can shave yours.

SPEAKER_02 56:50

Woman. Good night, y'all. From a contained smile unstoppable with Victoria, the ass shaver. And Michael.

SPEAKER_01 57:06

You know what goat stands for is greatest of all time. Hell yeah! Uh-huh.