Friending: A Real-World Cure For Loneliness

Loneliness doesn’t always look like sadness. Sometimes it looks like a full contact list, nonstop group chats, and a Friday night with nobody to actually meet. We sit down with Gaborg, co-founder of Friending, to talk about why modern life is producing more isolation in spite of constant connectivity and what we can do about it before it gets worse. If you’ve felt burned out by social media, tired of shallow scrolling, or unsure how to make friends as an adult, this conversation gets practical fast. 

We unpack the real-world problem Friending is built to solve: people mistaking screen time for friendship. Gaborg explains how the app pushes you toward in-person connection by limiting texting, matching you through shared-interest “RU In” activity cards, and focusing on people in your local area. We also dig into safety and trust, including third-party identity verification to reduce catfishing, a Bluetooth requirement to confirm friendship only after you meet face to face, and future plans for emergency alert features. 

Then we zoom out to the bigger cultural shift: AI companions, humanoid robots, and the risk of replacing human relationships with always-available tech. We talk about kids and teens losing basic social skills, why “no phones at the table” matters, and small habits that bring real community back into everyday life. If you’re ready to trade endless messages for actual coffee, walks, concerts, and conversations, subscribe, share this with a friend, and leave a review telling us: what’s one screen habit you want to change?

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Howdy, y'all. Want to know the episode of Taylor Smile Unstoppable? We're here with a very, very sexy Victoria. I'm sorry. My red-headed vixen wife. I'm sorry. Our very special guest, Gaborg. And we're gonna get right into why he is on our show.

SPEAKER_02 0:20

Proud of you for not butchering that. Like that's pretty good. I mean, my husband is the redneck, he's a little, you know, like the whole sexy one. I'm sorry. But like he seriously, you did a pretty good introduction there. That was nice.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Oh Laura. Anyway, I think this is an incredible conversation to have. It's very timely and honest. Because right now we are living in a world where we have never been more connected to devices, where we are so entitled to our phone and our tablet and computers. And I've seen so many people where they don't even want to go over to their friend's house anymore. I just texted them. I talked to them on FaceTime. I did whatever. Nobody wants to get out and mingle anymore. Nobody wants to go out and be face to face to people. Like we're one of these families where that when we have a meal, there's no electronics at the table. It is us having a conversation about our days. We're talking, we're interacting. And when our daughter has friends over, they don't know what to do. They're like, this is so unusual. We don't, we eat in different rooms. We're on our phones, we're on our tablets, we're whatever, whatever. So I'm so glad to have you on. You are the founder and CEO of Friending, and I really cannot wait for you to tell us all about that and what made you develop it.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

Yes, let me make some correction. The co-founder, the other partner is Rolt, who is the CTO. It was actually his idea about four or five years ago now. And I joined up with him about three years ago, and we basically decided on the final direction the app should take. So it's more his credit in terms of thinking about it than mine. But yes, the problem is exactly what you're saying that people are misled to think that they have friends. In my younger days, if I did something wrong and I was grounded, I was perhaps prohibited to use my bike for a week. In this day and age, you are sort of penalized by okay, go outside and use your bike. So the the whole world is upside down as far as I think, because people think they have friends, and then Friday night comes and there's nobody to go out with. Because they sit in front of their screens, continuing swiping, chatting. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 2:46

Please continue.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

No, no, I mean that that's the that's the sad part. I mean, if you want to go down statistics and illness part, over 60 million people under 50 say that they're alone. And this is not something to brag about. So I imagine the real number is higher than that. And also, I think a lot of people don't realize that they're alone. So it's not a bragging thing, and you may not realize that you're alone. So I think it's a huge epidemic because you're not contagious, you don't have a fever, it's not visible as I walk past you. People just ignore it. Yet the physical health issues from psychological depression or extreme cases, suicide, high blood pressure, blood sugar, you know, rising, etc., all this can be related to your psyche, to your well being in a health perspective. So it's a real issue and it is changing slowly. That's the sort of good news, but the projections are still not showing that change because they say to five to ten years, you will have about two-thirds of the Americans who are alone.

How Friending Works In Real Life

SPEAKER_02 4:00

Well, I'm so glad you're here because if you've ever listened to previous episodes, I always talk about how I hate electronics, that I hate the fact that people are so engaged in talking to AI that they are all in, like people will have conversations all day long with AI, like it's their spouse, like it's their best friend, like they're sitting in a room with that person, or they just don't want to go outside. And, you know, when we've had our other kids over, we've said, hey, let's go outside for a little while and breathe in fresh air and you know, let's do things. And they're like, we just want to play our video games. And I'm like, no, no, because it's so like when you look at the time when we were all in school, we couldn't take a phone, and granted it was like a block, but we were in school participating, you know, in extracurricular activities and events and things. Now kids are taking their phones in school. They're even doing their schoolwork on tablets, they don't even use a dictionary anymore. They look everything up on the phones. Our daughter, who I homeschooled for this reason, knows what the Dewey Decimal system is. She knows when she needs to look something up. It's on Webster Dictionary. She's not asking an electronic device. She's gonna get the paper cuts, hold the book, read the book, you know, that's how it should be. And, you know, I'm on social media because I'm advocating for domestic violence and special needs and helping people who have been through traumatic events in their life. But like my husband, bless his heart, he'll sit there on TikTok for hours and it drives me nuts. I can't stand it. I'm like, what are you doing? Put it down, have a conversation, speak to me. We go to restaurants, Gabor, everywhere you go, everybody's on their phone. Right? My grandfather said it best. You know, they basically raised me, and you're talking about decades ago, where there was the phone on the wall, right? And my grandfather would say, if I want whoever's on the other end of that call at my dinner table, I would have invited them. Hang up. Sit here with your family. And you don't see that anymore. I mean, we go to restaurants, and everybody at the table is on their phone. Even people on a date are on their phones. So tell me how friend friending came about or and all the concepts behind it. I love it. I think it is a fantastic idea.

SPEAKER_00 6:40

Thank you. Yeah, so why is friending, as you're saying, there are numerous dating and friending as why are we doing something that potentially, or at first look, may seem that you can be keeping your on your app just as a different app? Friending is different in two ways. You are encouraged to meet face to face. You cannot text, it is limited to about 10 text exchanges. We don't want to keep you online, you don't want to keep you swiping. And because you have to meet in person, face-to-face, people with the same interest, you create what we call are you in cards, meaning are you into that activity? And those people in your neighborhood, and the neighborhood is about 50 miles in our case, um, you know, you hook up with them, and because you hook up in face-to-face, the other crucial and extremely useful feature is the third-party verification by a company called Persona, because the other problem is that you have so many fake profiles, uh, catfishing, uh, etc. So all that is non-existent. Although, interestingly enough, what we have found is that people are hesitant to get to use their driver's licensor selfie to identify, you know, to verify themselves, because they are, I guess, not used to it. It's like perhaps maybe I don't know, 20 years ago when Airbnb came about, and people were concerned that their apartment or whatever would get trashed. Because there is this unusual ask. Yes, but in return, you get a safe group of people. So, you know, there's not going to be fake profiles, catfishing, and you know who the person is when you meet face to face. And that is the only way to become friends on friending, is your phone is connected with Bluetooth to the other phone. So you cannot fake it. It's not a QR code that you take a picture of and send over. You physically have to have a Bluetooth connection between the two phones to become friends.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

I love that. I was gonna ask you what you're doing to protect individuals on there, and I'm so grateful that you answered that. Thank you. I I love that. So let's say I was gonna meet you out. So we connect via your app on a Bluetooth connection. So we don't exchange.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

No, no, we we only connect by the app or Bluetooth once we meet face to face.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:15

You so you connect, you sign up, you download it from friending.com, you sign up, you fill out your profile. After the profile is filled out, you go to a different site, which is um different company called Persona, which do the verification. We don't keep the data, we don't see the data. It's think of it as um going to a store and handing over your credit card. You know, the merchant gets a yes or no answer in terms of accepting your card, and the merchant doesn't have any more details than that. So basically, persona verifies you and says to us yes, you're who you say you are, and then you're allowed to use the app. Until then, once you filled out the profile, you get into what we call a waiting room, and you're not going to be able to see anybody, nor anybody can see you until you verify yourself. So as a result, everybody is verified, and it is a safe environment to be. Yes, there is a sacrifice that you do need your driver's license or some kind of government ID and a selfie to verify yourself, but I think it's a small price to pay to know that your surroundings and the group that you're going out with is also verified and safe. So there's a trade-off. Wish we could do it without verification, but the the apps before us all tried it and failed. And now some of the competitors are giving you badges that you have been verified, but they have too many people on there. They cannot say, hey, you have to get verified. We're just starting. We have, I'll be honest, few people on there. So that's that's the other thing. Please help us build the community. It's free at the moment. Please sign up, please register and invite people from your neighborhood because this is the kind of app that will only have value if you invite people in your neighborhood. And there are numerous uses. I'll give you an example. Um let's say you go out jogging, and halfway through your jog, you want to meet up with somebody. Using the few tap, you can actually say the real-time thing, hey, this is where I am, come and join me in my jogging. So you can plan activities ahead, or you can ad hoc, just think of it in the middle of doing something and see if anybody wants to join you there and then.

SPEAKER_02 11:37

Wow, that's really cool.

Safety Limits And Verified Identity

SPEAKER_01 11:39

That is good. So, you know, and I know our listeners want to know for security purposes, how can you assure us that your app can will keep out the pedos, the pedophiles?

AI Friends And The Coming Robot Era

SPEAKER_00 11:55

Basically, we're not the ones doing the uh it's not a I have to have to stress, and uh your question is absolutely valid. I'm not doing a background check on you. All I'm saying is, is that you? Meaning your physical characteristics, are you a real person? Yes, you could be who you could be a serial killer, and I'm not vouching for you that you're not. However, there's going to be a feature introduced later on because um let's assume for you meet in a coffee shop, and let's assume although the person has been verified, whatever, you still feel uncomfortable. And there will be a feature in when we get around to doing it. I don't want to give a date because no, but the feature will do it it will call the police, call your friend, or call anybody with the friending app in the neighborhood if you tap on the screen three times. So if you feel uncomfortable, it's not as simple as that because you would need to buy, I don't know, a$10-15 Bluetooth device because the app, once the screen closes, only communicates via Bluetooth. So you would need to buy a keychain, a bracelet, which will sell on our website for like$10,$15. We haven't looked into it, so I'm just we're not really making a profit. We're just trying to come up with ideas that would make it even safer. And we looked into it that the device shuts down the iPhone, so it's not going to be communicating with anybody other than your paired Bluetooth device. That that is why you need a bracelet, a keychain, or whatever else we figure out. So that that could that we could program to call the police, your friend, or the neighborhood people around you, depending on how you set it up when you signed up for the app. And talking of coffee, we're actually selling a very unique coffee on our website, friending.com. And what's unique other than it has a cool packaging? This is just an example of one of the cities, San Francisco. You may have friends or you may be still. We have a whole city collection, but that's not the real point. The real point is the back of the app, which is a QR code. And when you order the coffee as a gift to your friend, you could say, thank you for the podcast or whatever, and that message will appear as a safe, secure QR code, and you need your friend needs to download the app to read your message. So that is the way we're trying to market the app, basically, because we know that coffee is related to sort of friends, friending. So we decided to sell coffee. People buy it as a gift, send you a message, and you download the app. You don't need to register, but you do need to download it to read the message. Yeah, we all love coffee. Exactly. We also sell matcha tea and I don't know, like 20 different varieties of coffee, organic coffee, regular coffee, etc.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

So, good morning, let me ask you also, and I'm sorry to interrupt you. Thank you, Victoria. If I wanted to have a yard sale, could I put this message out for people to meet up at the yard sale? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

It's an event that you're planning to have. So you may say, hey, anybody interested in yard sale, either organizing it or whatever. For example, slightly same thing, in three weeks' time, we'll be at an exhibition. And we would like people to basically sign up everybody who's visiting the show. So we'll have what we call an RU in card specifically for that exhibition. So you can have in a yard sale as your RU in card because you're into yard sale. Uh you know, I would put a coffee shop activity, you put a yard sale activity. Hey, I'm selling you know, whatever I have. And give it a time and a date.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

That's really neat. So, how long have you been working on getting this to where it is now? And how long do you think it'll be before it is exactly where you want it to be?

SPEAKER_00 16:03

For a number of years now, for about three years, as I said, it took a while to figure out exactly. I don't think it will be ever where we want it to be because we always come up with ideas, suggestions, real usage issues, you know, what we should do or shouldn't do, how people want the app to look like. And you can tell us, you can write to um hello at friending.com, for example, to give feedback. And basically we listen because it's it's a user app. It's for you. It's for you as a payback, I think, on my side for society, as my background is video game development. So I'm partially uh to blame because for 30 years I've been doing video games from Tomb Raider to Pac-Man, I don't know, SpongeBob, umizumi, Scooby-Doo.

SPEAKER_02 16:53

SpongeBob, my husband's favorite.

SPEAKER_00 16:56

So I'm paying back society for my sins.

SPEAKER_02 17:04

Your thoughts on AI interesting.

SPEAKER_00 17:09

Again, if it's used correctly, it's good. But um, you know, you mentioned that people are talking to AI, which is correct. And that's even going to get worse because there is, I think it was called NEO, a robot is coming out in a year or so. Basically, humanoid thing. You can buy for$10,000, which is a lot of money, but for, you know, in two years' time, it will be like$2,000. And literally, you can you can Google Neo. It's a humanoid helper, if that's what you want. It will wash the dishes for you, clean your home.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

No, come on now, no.

SPEAKER_00 17:50

So imagine having somebody in your physical space that now you can call friend, you know, not just on the screen, but in a 3D flesh and blood, flesh and blood, so to say, almost. Never argues, always agrees, never tired to do anything. You know, again, it's going to be a huge misconception when you think you're not alone because you have a robot in your home.

SPEAKER_02 18:18

Wow, that's crazy. That is crazy. My husband and I don't argue, but my husband is he openly admits he's a little lazy. So that like I just what are they gonna come up with next? Is somebody gonna be like a robotic partner?

SPEAKER_00 18:34

A robotic I am sure, unfortunately, yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:38

They already have that.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

What do you mean they already have that?

SPEAKER_01 18:40

Oh, yes. What? No, they don't. Yes, my wife lives in a closet, y'all.

SPEAKER_02 18:46

That's not nice. I'm serious. I mean, like, we joke around because I've had well over a hundred surgeries. Most of my body is titanium. And so I joke around, I'm like, oh, I don't need a shower, I need a WD-40 wash, right? So can you imagine? Like, I couldn't even fathom having a robotic partner. I mean, are they gonna make it where you can make them a boy or a girl or you know, like what?

SPEAKER_00 19:16

I don't know. It's scary. I have a teenage daughter, and she's in basically um a junior in high school, and you know, so looking at universities. And you know, I was taught when I was a kid, you know, go to university, you get a good job and you have a nice life. I have no idea what she and I I uh cannot really help her in terms of what she should study, that she enjoys and will have a future. I mean, I uh you know used to be computer science programming, you know. That's what I have my degree in, I have a computer science degree, but now pretty much I don't have any technical stuff, but Rod, the co-founder, CTO, he uses AI basically as team members, you know, as he's sort of handing out work to AI to write the code.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

That's great. Like I I can't even, I'm so old school, like on everything. And it's you know, and so many people I talk with are like, oh no, I just put into AI to be my social media marketer or do this. And I'm like, no, no, because it's not humanized. It's not still gonna be able to bring that emotion and realization and authenticity to the people that we talk to and help. And I guess I'm one of those, you know, minute minorities that just I can't get on the bandwagon of doing AI. Like I was so excited when I just knew you were gonna come on and what you're a part of because I'm all for it. I think absolutely go out, have a cup of coffee, sit outside, interact with people, put your phones away, right? Just have nothing to do with it. I mean, first thing in the morning, most people grab their phone before they do anything. They're already on it checking social media. But what about checking with your family? What about checking with your friends? What about, you know, go out and say, it's beautiful outside. Let's go to the park and go for a walk, like you said. Let's take the dogs for a walk. Let's go for a junk, let's go have a cup of coffee or sit on the patio somewhere and listen to live music. I love the concept of what you're doing because I don't think we have enough of it out there. Everybody is just, you know, sit in your room. Everybody, we have an overwhelming epidemic of introverts because of all of social media and things of that nature.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

But they never learned. They never learned to interact.

unknown 21:49

Right.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

They never learned how to ask a girl out or not not necessarily as a date, but let's grab coffee, because you know, it it's a skill. That you learn as you grow up in your into your teens. And they sort of miss that.

SPEAKER_02 22:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:07

And they don't know how.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:09

Now, of course, they're scared.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

Yeah, absolutely. And they should be because they don't they don't know how to do it. Right? And and absolutely. I think just starting out even is something as simple as go to a concert, you know, go to do something that's just outdoors. Enjoy the outdoors. I mean, what are your thoughts on this, babe?

SPEAKER_01 22:32

He mentioned skills. Well, that's something that the the mill some of these millennials and you know the next generation, they're gonna lose a lot of skill workers and trade tradesmen. They're not gonna know how to, you know, leathercraft, you know, or custom make jewelry, or you know, work work on their hands, pick up a wrench because they're on their damn phone, their tablet. You know. Absolutely. I'm looking up your Neo right now, the the robot here.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

I'm looking at the computer and it's it it's a little scary. Like it looks like a little person with two eyes, and that's it. Like there's no nose, there's no mouth, there's it's just like a little, I don't even know how to explain it. Like, I I've never heard of this, but you know, I'm not somebody who gets into that kind of stuff. But that's just crazy. I mean, I don't even have anything to say. We're not getting one. Like, that's just not gonna happen. That's just not gonna happen. There's no way our daughter would be like, oh, really? This is kind of be kind of because she's very much like, I really want our daughter to participate in your app because we keep trying to tell her, you know, you need to get together, you need to go out with friends, you know. And her friends are like, why have a sleepover? We were just FaceTiming. Why have a get together? We were just texting. And I'm like, it's the social interaction of human beings. You need to know how to do this. Like, she's a million miles a minute on her phone, right? She could hold a record for how fast she can type, but she's shy about going up to somebody and having an actual verbal conversation with someone face to face. So we try to tell her, like, if we're at a restaurant or go to the grocery store, or you know, she's like, Can I get some more ketchup? I'm like, you need to ask. And it's something so small because she's not used to doing it, right? She's used to, oh, I'll just be home and I'll go to the refrigerator and get it. But we want her to be out in public more. We want her to have more interaction. This is why I think his app that you know he's co-founded is just it's phenomenal. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

Well, the good news is there is a trend called Dplug, where you organize an event, and we'll do that in the future as well. Organize dinner events, people in the same city, but you don't know who is coming. So basically, people with the same interest, you know, five or six will be invited, and you don't know who, and basically, you cannot bring a digital device.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

I love that, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 25:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

Well, like we have a jail phone box, and so like you know, put the phone in the box, like when she has friends over or whatever, which is so far and few between, but we're like, put the phone in the box because when we're having dinner, it goes, we're not having electronics at the table. If you know, every Saturday night is daddy-daughter movie night and they watch a movie together and they play, we have game night and stuff like that, because it's so important to have these interactions. I would love to find out how we could partner with you and get this, get this out more. That would be, you know, phenomenal. Maybe we could talk about that after we finish um on here. But I mean, this is something that especially people who have gone through a lot of what I help people with and my husband about like going through any type of abuse, they've been sheltered into place and they want to make friends because you know they don't have anybody, they're all alone. You know, go to a public restaurant, go to a public, you know, drive there and even till you're comfortable with someone, you don't have to let them pick you up. You can go meet them at a local Starbucks and have a cup of coffee and have a conversation and you know, make new friends and new interactions with people. I think this is fantastic. I think this is such it's so needed. Thank you. Thank you for building.

SPEAKER_00 26:31

Thank you for it's it's a social issue that society needs to deal with, and sweeping it under the carpet is not the answer.

SPEAKER_02 26:41

No, absolutely not. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

You said that uh you're limited to maybe 10 texts.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

Yes. What happens after that is either of you has to send a friending request to the other person to set up a place to meet in person. That's the problem, is that our competitors basically keep you on their app. In later, once we have enough users, we'll charge something like five dollars a month, and we would like you to keep it the app on every month, but in return, what we will do is eventually build out a network of local retailers, let's say coffee shops or whatever, where they, if you're a friending member, you get like a 10% discount on your coffee. So let's say the five bucks coffee will cost you$4.50. And if you have more than 10 coffees a month, you actually save on your friending um monthly membership fee because you know you save your five bucks back. So we're always looking at it that we realize that you may not be looking for a friend every month, but you may like to join an event. So we would like and appreciate if people keep their app and eventually when it becomes a paid app on their phone. But we are working very hard to find a way to compensate you for your five dollars, which isn't a huge amount, but we still don't want you to feel that we have treated you because you haven't used the app and we charge for it. So that is why we will eventually be looking for various retailers who would give a discount if you have the friendly app on your phone.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

That is fantastic. Well, we want to make sure we can get everybody in touch with how to get this app and where to find it. So I want to make sure that we get all of that from you so I can add it at the end of the show for us. And tell everybody how they can find you as well. How do we get a hold of you? And we'll make sure that we link the app to all of our stuff as well.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

Yes, email is hello at friending.com. You can download it's iOS only at the moment, or app friending on the site friending.com.

SPEAKER_02 28:59

I was about to ask you, is it Apple only or are you with Android? But I'm glad you answered that for me too.

SPEAKER_00 29:05

There will be an Android version, hopefully, early next year.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

Well, I cannot thank you enough for being here with us this afternoon. I'm so excited about this app. I think it's gonna be fantastic. And I'm I'm still not getting the verb, babe. It's just not no, I can't do it.

SPEAKER_00 29:20

Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 29:21

Thank you so much. Thank you, Gaborg.

SPEAKER_00 29:24

Thank you as well. And I hope you don't get to get into an argument over Neo.

SPEAKER_02 29:28

Oh, we won't. We definitely won't.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Thank you all for listening to a contained smile unstoppable with our very special guest, Gaborg. And always the Oh, bye.

SPEAKER_02 29:41

Stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

And I'm Michael. Bye, y'all.