A Life Built On Miracles, Work Ethic, And Showing Up with Very Special Guest, Amir Arison

One family’s survival story collides with a working actor’s hard-earned truth, and the result is a conversation that feels both cosmic and deeply practical. We talk about what it means to keep showing up through domestic violence recovery, medical trauma, and the kind of caregiver responsibility that never clocks out. You’ll hear how Faith’s resilience is built day by day, how a mother’s devotion becomes a mission, and why “you survived 100% of your worst days” is more than a quote when you’ve lived it. 

We also go behind the scenes of The Blacklist, from the dream of landing a series to the chain of miracles it takes to keep a role, and why the job is both a gift and a grind. Our guest reflects on faith and science, from the limits of what we can understand about the universe to the idea that prayer and meditation light up real pathways in the brain. There’s honest talk about anxiety and depression, therapy, and the strange crash that can come after a dream comes true. 

The conversation turns toward purpose-driven work: the Contagious Smile Academy, the Stucco Squad children’s books supporting kids facing domestic violence, and the cost of helping people when you refuse to quit. We end with a challenge that every helper needs: find one small “selfish” joy that restores you so your devotion stays sustainable. If this hits home, subscribe, share this with someone who needs hope, and leave a review so more survivors and caregivers can find it.

Transcript

Welcome And Why This Guest Matters

SPEAKER_05 0:00

Here we go. All right. I'm gonna start unlike ever before. Today is one of those moments that we don't take lightly. Because when someone has spent years just showing up in their craft with consistency, depth, and integrity, you feel and you respect it. My guest today is someone whose work has reached millions of people across the world, not just through one role, but through a career built on presence, intuition, and authenticity. Many of you know him and his FBI agent, a role. Most of us on the blacklist, a character that brought intelligence, heart, and humanity into every single scene. And also made our daughter Faith want to be an FBI profession. His work goes far beyond that from film projects like The Visitor, a stand-up guy to special appearances, including La Honor, SVU, Chanel to Marissa's gun, The Mentalist, and Homeland. He has consistently brought something real into every single role he steps into. But for us, he didn't just step into a role, he stepped into our lives because this beautiful man reached out and started sending messages to our daughter Faith years ago when she was having her 33rd surgery and give her so much hope and resilience and love and would send us messages in his car and would send us messages all the time. Let us see his beautiful dog. And even talk to me before I had two spinal surgeries. Amazing human being who I have just grown such a respect for. She's very camera shy. I don't know why, but I tell her she's absolutely stunning, but she's camera shy.

SPEAKER_02 2:29

I'm obsessed with her haircut.

SPEAKER_05 2:31

Isn't it bad? It's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

You mean badass, right? Badass and badass.

SPEAKER_05 2:37

She's a badass. You see what she got for me as a surprise? She went and got this tattoo. It says Karamiya Survivor, my my idol idol as a gift for me, and surprise me with it.

SPEAKER_10 2:50

Is that a real tattoo?

SPEAKER_05 2:51

Is that like a real?

SPEAKER_02 2:54

How old are you, Faith?

SPEAKER_05 2:56

Almost 20. Almost 20.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Wow. And you're other I see other tattoos. You got some eight.

SPEAKER_05 3:04

This is the Phoenix where she's overcome and rose through the ashes.

SPEAKER_08 3:09

Wow. That's so awesome. What else? What else what other tattoos you got?

Adoption, Abuse Survival, And Family

SPEAKER_05 3:16

A wolf and then three hearts. Well, you have to go back a little further. I I as you know, I survived domestic violence and I was a single mom, and I fought and got the rights terminated. But from day one, I told her the only man I would ever allow to be her dad is Michael. And so Michael was my soulmate that I met 25 years ago, and we broke up and I rebounded like an idiot and met this monster that beat me when I was pregnant. And so we got back together and he asked her permission to adopt her. And she told him that mom always told me you'd be the only man she'd ever let be my dad. And so he asked her to choose her destiny and he adopted her. And that's how that happened.

SPEAKER_02 4:48

I think adoption is one of the most noblest things someone can do in this world.

SPEAKER_00 4:52

She had the she wrote a poem during the adoption process and had the judge even crying in there. It was so beautiful.

SPEAKER_05 5:00

It was absolutely so beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

Our daughter's very talented in writing.

SPEAKER_05 5:05

She's written a bunch of books, and and we almost lost Treasure Now a couple years ago. And we were in the ICU, as I have told you, and I was playing your videos for her, and she was listening. And and I was like, I promise, just listen. He's talking about how strong you are.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

I don't remember because I'm gonna end the out of home.

SPEAKER_05 5:30

I'm gonna put it on him. Yeah, they she went into complete organ failure. They told us they'd make her comfortable and keep her and she wouldn't make it through the night. And I maybe threatened to like get Raymond involved and put her, you know, somebody else in the hospital, but said, no, she's gonna make it through. She's gonna be here. And she fought through and won. And then now she's here and she's amazing and beautiful. And she just helped finish doing what is called the Stucco Squad series, which we created 11 books that is for ages four to eight. And Stucco, our golden retriever, is in the books and helps children who are going through a bad home life and domestic violence and things of that nature, realize it's not their fault that they're not bad kids, that they do deserve to get better. And she mentors those kids and she talks to those kids and she supports those kids. And she's helped me write courses for the academy that we don't charge for. And she's this is my gift. This is my life. My reason for getting up in the morning is this beautiful girl right here.

Faith, Cosmos, And The Brain

SPEAKER_02 6:34

So two things. Regarding the hospital where you they you you organ failure and you thought you lost her. I have been contemplating a lot the science of faith. It's from all the way from creation of a baby to the cosmos and the stardust. There's a whole lot of new innovations that are happening now with what the cosmos is and dark matter and the material universe. Actually, I just read this yesterday. The material universe that we know of, and when I say I know of, it's the galaxy that where gravity works, the way we think we know it. And so I'm getting way esoteric here. Saturn, Jupiter, and other galaxies. All that that's the that's sorry, that's sorry. Let me just turn that oh hold on. Let me just whoops, whoops. Okay. And that everything we sort of know or have studied, and I've you know, built up all the science and education, every star and everything. I I hope I'm not getting this wrong. Some scientists are gonna listen to this and he's like, what is that guy talking about? But it only makes up five percent of it's called the the matter, and then there's 37% is dark matter, which changes the properties that we know where gravity doesn't work in the same way exactly, which is beyond the universe. And then there's 67% or 63% of dark matter energy, which drives things that we can't even. So it's so incomprehensible that it's so incomprehensible, and the design is so tremendous and so beautiful. I almost feel like there are scientists where the only conclusion is the presence of some kind of God and our only brain. I'm not trying to, I'm not trying to sell God or science or versus people ask me, people ask me, do you do you, you know, if do you believe in God or do you you know, I'm more of a Darwinian and a big bang theory. I don't fully subscribe to Adam and Eve, but what I but but I do in the sense is that I know what I don't know, and I really ponder the limits of what a human brain can understand. And we were designed with this ability to have a whole lot of perception and a whole lot of thoughts, and to, and one of the things humans are are gifted with that, not all the animal kingdom is, but actually that's not entirely true, but imagination. And imagination to me is connected to faith and all the stories we tell each other from whether it be from the Bible or Hindu texts or the Quran or the Torah. And those I am going way out there, and those stories are a series of, I don't know what is happening to me right now. I'm very inspired by your story and by the by the three of you, the three of you, that that series of imagination that has built upon learning is a series of actions and devotions and practices that have helped mostly. I don't believe in I don't believe in any extreme fundamentalism that believes other people should die because their way or the highway, that to me is sort of against nature and spiritual. That that that's me. I'm not gonna speak for other people who do believe in that, but that is not, I don't, I'm not down with that. That that building of imagination has helped us, so our faith or people's faith has helped an ability to understand and navigate this super confusing and magical, strange, challenging universe. And I can only imagine with all the surgeries and all the things you have both been through, and the three of you have been through, that there is how can this happen? How can I get through this? And calling upon faith for help. How do we even know to call upon faith for help? That is the brain's ability to process things, and therefore it is part of our biology. In order, there is a part of the brain that lights up when people pray. It also works in meditation. I learned it. So there's actually a, you know, you can build a musician muscle or a language muscle. There actually is a faith muscle in the brain, and that is part of our design. I don't know where this is all coming from. I've never said all this before. That is so so that when I I I the incredible design of things or the or miracles, and it sounds like you know, our young faith here is proof of multiple miracles, as well as you are. And also, one more thing I want to say this that always fascinates me, people like human creation life, that the existence of any individual in human history, you, me, the is a is a um a mathematical miracle because it's there's no way you could win the lottery, or even me. You the chance of you winning the lottery 10,000 times and being struck by lightning 10,000 times is more likely than your creation. Because that egg and that sperm had to meet at that exact time, and those two people had to meet, and at that exact moment of all the sperms that could come from the you know, the male and all the eggs that could have dropped, and all the people you could have met, and at that moment in time, at that moment history, for that egg to meet that egg in the is is a mathematical miracle. So as you just are telling me this and what they said and what happened, and I'm in and out, and I don't remember, but you know, and then I I'm not even getting into quantum physics. The there's one other thing that just got me recently. Particles versus okay, I'll stop. I'll stop. When we observe something, I don't know that when we observe something, it changes it changes the behavior. I mean, the most literal example is if someone's put a camera on you, you you might be more self-conscious or aware as an actor, you know what I mean? Or if someone's taking a photo of you, you you're aware, so it changes the way you you behave or something. That's the same with particles and atoms, which it's hard to sort of uh make sense of. There's some some things where waves go different, like you literally set up a recording device and they behave different. How would they know that? It's something in the kind of quantum mechanics of it all. I'm speaking like a like a layman's terms, and so the effect of faith on you and why you get up in the morning where you think all these terrible things have befallen, but it has created such a sense of purpose and has altered your universe. And look at this joyous podcast, and it's how we connect it. And I am just going way off on a tangent. Please forgive me for the listeners. I sound like a kooky person.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

I can't wait for the title.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

I don't, I don't even, I don't know. And I've just been studying the science of creation and stuff. Like, do you know that when a baby if a baby is sick and it is nursing on a on a on a on a breast, on a mother's breast, the way it sucks, if the baby is sick, the breast and the ducks know that it needs more of this calcium or this thing in the milk. It knows at night to provide more melatonin. Who's telling it that? How is it knowing that?

SPEAKER_05 13:44

I actually knew that.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

I didn't know that who designs this? Who do who designed that? That is some incredibly complicated, brilliant design that has morphed over the years. There's some ins. Is it from dark matter? Is it from God? Is it from quantum physics? I don't know. Is it just evolution? Uh but where did the evolution start? Who who who directed that? It's just or it's not a who or a what or it's a thing, or it's a what it's a oneness. I don't know, but I I can't stop lately. As I get older, I really contemplate this stuff. I'm gonna stop. It's really nice to meet you all.

SPEAKER_05 14:15

Well, people later birthday as you talk about getting older. Yes, just had a birthday, 21. Congrats.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

20. Yes, March 24th. I I turned backwards, Lee. 21. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:30

There you go. There you go. See, and we she came in, she goes, Mom, look, he's doing a dance, and she showed me your little dance video on Instagram.

SPEAKER_02 14:40

They were playing that. I was actually in LA uh at a basketball event and forgetting the rapper's name, and they sang that song. I was just dancing and then and then two weeks later, I my birthday, and I was like, Oh, let me post that anyway. Anyway, thanks. I have to post more. It's hard. I'm sorry to really keep up on the social media. I it's a thing, but I I have mixed feelings about it and so forth, and and what to share and how to share, and also keeping up with it because it takes a lot of brain power and I don't know what anyway. Anyway, hi.

SPEAKER_05 15:10

Hi, hi. So I have to tell you, I found the blacklist when she was in the hospital. I never left her side, I stayed by her side for months and months. And one night it was on late at night, and I was like, oh, I'm gonna watch this, and I'm just gonna be completely transparent. I was never a James Spader fan at first. In the 80s, I was like, Oh, I don't like him as an actor, right? In the 80s. And I was like, oh, he's just a little butt.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

He plays he's really good at playing all those creepy guys and those lascivious and yeah.

Building A TV Career Through Luck

SPEAKER_05 15:44

But then I'm watching him, and at first I didn't even know he was James Spader in the blacklist. And then I'm watching him and I'm like, oh my god, this was made for him. Like this role was made for James Spader, right? And then I watch season one, episode three, my one of my absolute favorite scenes ever, where he's sitting at the table and then he puts a gun down and he says, All right, I'm I'm gonna have you have two minutes. And if you don't transfer five million dollars over into this offshore account, I'm gonna. And you're like, Well, that's not very nice. And I was like, I don't know who he is, but I freaking love this character. Like, I thought you were just amazing, right then on that line. It was just from then on. She started watching it, and I remember one of the videos you sent her. You were like, Your daughter watches a blacklist. Oh, she's a little young to watch the blacklist. Yes, yes. But she wants to be an FBI profiler. That that is her her dream, and you were her inspiration. She loves to watch all of it. And how was it working on the blacklist? You were there not long enough. I wish you were there for the season finale, which we will not talk about because either people loved it or hated it, one or the other. Or haven't seen it yet. Right, right, right. So, how much fun was it going to work every day to do that show?

SPEAKER_02 17:00

That is it was amazing. It was my dream job. I'll just start with that. It was the job I always I had, for lack of a better word, hope and faith and and complicated with how and can I get on a series. I always wanted to be on a series. All right, there's a few things. You talked about that scene, you talked about started, you talked about James Spader. So of multi-pronged aspects of that question, but I'll I'll go backwards. I always pretty early on in my career, I knew I wanted to do a series, both for the regularity of the work. It's monetarily the sort of the best you can do, unless you're, you know, most likely unless you're Tom Cruise or something, you know, or like some, you know, A-list, you know, movie star. TV is sort of the best living, you know, sort of actor can potentially have. And also I wanted my weekends because I was coming from a lot of theater and I loved theater, but theater doesn't pay well. And you you give up all your nights and weekends, and you give up your soul, and it just sort of consumes all of you, which I still love, which I still do, but I just didn't want to do that all the time. And I saw how hard it was to get a series. It's like actually, speaking of miracles, it's a series of miracles that have to happen. One, you have to have the right representative submit you for the role, which also even if you don't have that, you could that there's a miracle in getting the right representatives. The egg meets the sperm. I'm gonna right role. You have to you have to do well with the appointment. Okay. They have to be willing to cast you because they don't have offers out to other people, or you have to, you know, look right or not look like the lead or not be too tall or too short, or you know, they want to change ethnicities for the role. So that all has to happen. Then you do a table read, and you have to not get fired after the table read. Then you have to shoot the pilot, and then they have to not replace you for the pilot. Then the pilot has to get picked up to series, and then it has to air on series with good advertising, and then the series has to be renewed, and then hopefully renewed again. So all of these things have to fall into play. And I saw that, you know, I maybe get one or two of those moments, or three or four of those moments. I didn't cast in a pile and then go, and then it didn't go. I kind of sort of realized I was like, I might get a series through the back door because often if I audition and I'm a guest star in a series and it has the potential of recurring and it works. People can see what you can do better in a role than in an audition, in my opinion. Some people are great auditioners, some people are great on set. I've gotten to be a better auditioner. I feel solid in my auditions now, but I don't think you get the full expanse of what someone's gonna do until they're on opening night on the stage or they yell action on set. So I'm gonna jump ahead. I always my dream was when I was younger to be on Friends, like to be like Ross, Ross, or I was gonna say Ross.

SPEAKER_04 19:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:51

I got a lot, people used to call me swimmer and stuff like that. And so, and I'll never forget the moment. And then I wasn't because you know, 9-11 happened, and I ended up getting cast in a lot of Middle Eastern rows and more serious projects. And I do drama and comedy, but I just kind of got known for drama, and I was like, I want to do comedy. And so I'll jump ahead. Blacklist happened, Blacklist evolved. I had improvised a joke on my first day. I'm jumping way ahead. That's a miracle that they didn't cut the joke, that I was able to say it at the end of a scene, that they kept it. The writer's like, who's that? Then they started writing to me and they started writing in my rhythm, my sense of humor rhythm. So all of a sudden now the magic is really happening. They are writing towards me. I say they're writing for for the actors. The same thing happened with James. You know, ironically asked about James, James was actually the 13th choice for that role, if you can believe that.

SPEAKER_05 20:38

No, I swear that show was made for him.

Broadway Leap And Needing Approval

SPEAKER_02 20:42

It's it's but then once he was cast, it turned into this incredible vehicle for his skill set and his talent. And the bird, so they always say that TV shows work really well when when the when the writers, the actors, and the characters' voices merge, and then things really take off. And that happened organically for me. That was that was kind of they experienced that right away in the pilot for James, and that happened organically for me in a couple episodes of the first season that they then made me a series regular. And I remember being interviewed in season two, they had moved us to Thursday night, you know, Must C TV. NBC was suddenly had been like fourth or something, and then was number one again, and our show was number one at the time. And I was being interviewed, and there, and then I realized that I had just been made a regular, and I was like, my dream was to be on Friends, and Friends was on Thursday nights on Must C TV, and now we're premiering on Thursday nights, and I'm kind of playing the Ross of the blacklist, and I wanted to do comedy, and I'm kind of like the comic relief on this serious show. I was like, the dream actually did come true. The dream actually did happen. Yeah, and the show ran 10 seasons. I ended up doing nine. The reason I wasn't in the last season was because I had an opportunity to play the lead in a Broadway show, which does not grow on trees, and that was too good to pass up as a challenge. Just an actor, I'd always wanted but blacklist just kept on going. We thought we I thought it would be done after five, six, seven, eight, nine. I really wanted to see it all the way to the end. But you know, Broadway leads also usually go to, for plays, usually go to, you know, the Denzel Washingtons, the, the, the, the Nathan Lane's, the, the really, really, really, really, the movie star, the high, high-level known actors. And it was, it was, the role was extremely challenging. I remember the older actors like, you might go your whole career and never have a role this good. And it was the kite runner, and the character's name was Amir. And it was like, oh my goodness. And so, and so it was too good to pass up. And I um I was like, I had achieved this dream of doing a TV series. It happened. And I had a I came from theater. I used to, when I was in my early 20s, I was going to see every Broadway show. My dream was to be on Broadway. And I was willing to play any part, much less a role of that, you know, two and a half hours on stage of that magnitude. So I was like, am I getting another dream opportunity? So to have two, two dreams come true. But then, you know, when they're both done, there's then the depression hits, and you have to kind of figure out, you know, I'm living in the dream. And then I actually rem well, that's it's a little more personal, but I'll just say I remember when it was done, and then I was laid in my apartment and I was looking around, and I was like, is this it? I'm just like back in the hustle of looking for parts, and it's like back to auditions and meetings, and and I was like, this is just I achieved the two things. There's a lot more I want to achieve. My goals have evolved. I have a lot of other projects that I'm interested in doing, and I'm shifting to directing, and I I still want to do a series, and there's there's lots of things I'm interested in now. But I remember I was like, and I was looking at my apartment and I was like, I think I want to live in a house. But and I want to live in a house with big windows, but I don't want to live in a house alone. I think I think I'm ready to get married. And I'm getting married soon.

SPEAKER_04 24:08

I wasn't gonna say anything, but congratulations!

SPEAKER_02 24:11

Kathy's in the other room, and because family was always my bedrock, and that never even occurred to me. I hadn't told Kathy in most of my life everyone. I was like, I'm not interested in getting married, getting married until I was. I really didn't think I wanted to get married. I'm happy just being a partner, and anyway, so it's a bunch of miracles and surprises along the way. You just put your best foot forward. I've had a lot of heartbreaks along the way, a lot of heartbreak roles and uh auditions and things not working out, and it's just been you you have to love it. And and then you forget. I just ran into this actor I saw yesterday. I was going to rehearsal for the play I'm directing, and I ran into this actor, his name is Dominique Cologne. He's right, and I remember us starting out 20-something years ago and seeing him around, and and I still see him in things and so forth. And I was like, hey man, I don't know if you know me or remember me. He's looking at me like, you're friends with my friend. And I was like, Listen, we started out at the same time, and I just want to say, I'm still seeing you just doing amazing work, and I'm seeing you around. And you know, I don't know how old you are, but we're probably in similar stages. And I just want to just congratulate you. Don't forget, you're doing it. You did it.

SPEAKER_05 25:16

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 25:18

He was like, I needed to hear that. I can't believe you said that. I needed it. So we always have to forget and uh do the look back. I mean, look at how far you guys have come, and you it's hard to see that in advance. So that the beauty of getting older is you get to look back and you can say to see the line and how it got drawn, how it got connected. How did that miracle actually happen? And there is a science of that miracle, you know, faith, hard work, hustle, belief, loved ones, positive energy, and luck. And you all heard that we create our own luck. Luck just doesn't, it just doesn't befall you. I guess it can, you know, I guess you can win the lottery, but then people go broke winning the lottery. Yeah, luck is something that you have to create around you, like manifestation. I really, I really do. I believe there's a science of luck. And you can, I remember my friend who works in NBA, and he says, in order to win a championship, you have you have to have three things. You have to be good, you have to be healthy, so you don't have major injuries, and you have to be lucky. That shot has to fall. I mean, we I think everyone saw the Yukon Duke game with a last-minute shot that wasn't supposed to, they were supposed to lose, and they won. And like that's that's luck, but preparation and the play and focus. And it's like all these again. I have started going off. I don't know what it is today. I'm on some insane tangents today, but he breaks it out of you because you keep saying faith. Yeah, she does. I I I and the the craziest bonus, the craziest bonus of the blacklist is how popular the show became around the world, cross culture, identity, and language. It I have people meeting from all over the world, stop me to this day. And then to be able to do things like this or cameo and meet people and say, You inspired me to be an FBI profiler from like the dream, and the that's what I'm saying. Like, this is like who could have like sort of passing on the the positive message. I I I I didn't know that that was part of like part of my destiny. I I I couldn't have predicted that. What a sweet honor.

SPEAKER_00 27:27

Well, i if I may say something, um here. Yeah, you can. Thank you, boss. Somebody need to hear that today. Well, whenever we post this podcast, somebody need to hear it today. Of course. Okay, so many times my wife has basically pulled teeth to get me to do a podcast because I'm a redneck, I'm horrible at it. I I I just absolutely suck.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

No, no, no.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

And for me to get on a podcast with my wife and simply talk about our lives and the things that we went through, the the hardships, the joys, the happiness, you know, just playing with our dogs, you know, whatever it may be, she'll get an email out of nowhere and say, Thank you, Victoria. Your podcast helps save my life.

SPEAKER_08 28:18

Oh wow, absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 28:19

And then when I mention one of her books, one of the 54 books that she's written, especially Who Kicked First, her her memoir of her abuse and what happened to her. Some somebody will write a review and write in and say, Your book saved my life. And you know, just just talking like like we are now, somebody needs to hear all about galactic energies and you know manifestations, you know, somewhere. But yeah, so it's a great reason.

SPEAKER_02 28:49

Two things. One, you're absolutely great on a podcast, I can tell you, for two reasons. Uh three reasons. One, you have a great voice and a great draw. That is an accent we love to hear. Two, two, you're authentic. Authenticity is the most important thing in acting and in public profile, and with people believe you. That's why we are, you know. Yeah. So, and when people are in acting class and so forth, people think like, oh, actors are great liars because they're good to pretend no great actors are really good at telling the truth. That you, if you're if you're just doing it to kind of show off in masses that that you're not going to move us, it's actually finding the truth and exposing yourself inside of that character in the most vulnerable ways. That's that's it. So you're authentic, you got a a great voice, and and and uh your positivity. So like you listen to the wife, do the podcast.

SPEAKER_05 29:47

I didn't think I could like him any more than I do, like I didn't think so, but he just like good luck. He just nailed it.

SPEAKER_09 29:56

Trying to think of it.

SPEAKER_05 29:57

You don't have to answer what did you think of the final blacklist? The final the finale.

SPEAKER_02 30:02

I'm gonna answer two parts. One, first, you asked me if I like going to work every day. I never ever forgot that I was living my dream come true. I love that. But you have to understand that in nine years, we all go through a lot in nine years. In fact, to get better metaphysical, our body is completely different every seven years. Every cell in our body has died and regenerated. So we're actually at a completely different.

SPEAKER_05 30:25

I just said this last night. I just said this last night.

SPEAKER_02 30:28

I said I had a complete and utter corporal change. So all the things that are you know have happened in your life, you're you're experiencing that sort of with your damn not every day is easy or hard. So but I never, ever, ever forgot, and it bothered me too. I'm a little bit allergic. I mean, it happens, we have to do it, and you have to do it at pillow talk, is the most important time. I I have a little bit of an allergy, uh, I'm a little bit allergic to complaining. Like if I hear complaining, but it it's it it's but you we we have to we we we we're humans, we we have broken hearts and we have broken dreams and broken feelings and and frustrations and and so forth. But if you you know that negativity perpetuates itself and positivity, which is a hard thing to and meditation is a hard thing to maintain, but it also perpetuates itself and then it gets easier, just like any skill set, just like acting, construction, you know. And so if I could feel myself, you know, maybe getting negative or getting sucked into some gossip or sucked into the things, I would try to walk my way extra. And I'd start you'd have to catch yourself, or I'd talk to my psychiatrist or my partner, or so but I never ever forgot how fortunate I am, and then I'm leaving the dream, and that and and and even actors in the union, in the history of actors, like 0.0001% get to do a series like that, much less a role that feels so catered to you, and that you have a certain authorship over for. I mean, this is just and then the things that it opened up were on, you know, I I couldn't have imagined. I never in my worst days, I was always like, this is and I always fought for my dream. And you can imagine what it is to leave your dream for another dream. Like that is, and so yes, I was sad I wasn't in the finale, and then I wasn't in the, but I was also very content with with with very with my decision to also left a lot of money on the table. I could use that money of the house style. I could have used that money. But you know, a Broadway debut is is huge. That that that night, uh that opening night, and there's a big part of there's a big part of that story where the character of Amir wants to be a writer, and his parents are immigrants, as are mine, and the dad is very concerned, and it's like you have to go into a practical trade, like a lot of people say, you have to, it's not, it's that's that's impractical. And I always had this experience. My mom was the one who kind of I would say kicked me, kicked, kickstarted me because I was in the second grade and I did a play and I had two lines. And after the play, she came up to me and goes, You have talent. So I joined the drama club. That wouldn't have happened if she didn't say that. And then I naturally excelled at the drama club. You know, I wasn't I wasn't a great reader, but I was good at drama club. And I got an award in the sixth grade at 12 years old. Further encourages me. Then I got an award when I was a senior in high school, and people are like, Oh, what do you want to do for a living? And my mom was like, he wants to be an actor because that is his passion. And my dad was my dad, but you're gonna be an FBI profiler, or something cooler because you studied to be an FBI profiler. The vocation finds you. Your vocation finds you. I'm a director now. I did not expect, I didn't sign up to be a director, but after all these years of acting, it's clear that I want to participate in telling the story, and I feel like I can help. When but my dad, don't worry, this ends with a very positive note about him. My dad was much more practical. You know, it's a tough profession. You're a smart kid, you could go into computers, you're like your mother, you have a good sense of people, you could be a psychiatrist, like, and I was interested in those things. I wanted to be a teacher. And so I always wanted to prove to him it'll it'll work, it'll be okay. So I had this perfect blend of blind belief from my blind belief and encouragement, like let's call it faith, and then the science of practicality from my dad. And they were both right. And God, how lucky I am that they came together. And I always had that this can happen, but oh gosh, I really need to make it happen and work hard. And then so I would always, if I didn't get a part, he said, This is your chosen profession. You have to show up, you have to work hard, you have to be good. But when I would tell him I got something, his reaction is like, oh, yes. And it always to this day feels good when I tell him I get a job, more than it is to tell my mom. Like it, it, I, I, it's so like I want, I'm you know, I'm grown, grown ass man. I still like, you know, encourag my dad's favor and approval. So on opening night, the hardest thing was for me to tell, you know, I got a family zoom to tell my dad I'm I'm exiting the blacklist to make this Broadway debut. And I was really vulnerable about it because I know he's worried about me, and it's good money and a very popular show and a great job. Like that was the hardest conveying that to him. And my mom was like, This is great, another dream. You're expanding, you know what I mean? And I was scared to share with him because I didn't want his disappointment. And he said, No, no, no, it's it's really Broadway. No, okay, no, no, no. This is good, okay, okay, okay. But then we got to opening night, and there's a whole aspect of him wanting his father's approval to be an artist. That character, he wants to be an artist, wants to be a writer. And in the kite runner, he wants his dad's approval to be a writer. Oh, wow. Wow. He's an immigrant who's like, that's not practical. I didn't come to this country and spend all this money on your education for you to piss it away and being a writer. So I'm telling this story, and that only kind of fully occurs to me while I'm doing the show. And at the end of the show, at the opening night, it went great. And I'm giving a curtain speech, you know, thanking the director, writer, and everybody, and every cast member and so forth. And when we finish, the house lights come up, and everyone's walking up the stage. And I look in the in the back of the theater, I see my dad. Wow, with the thumbs up.

SPEAKER_04 36:28

He's gonna make me cry.

SPEAKER_02 36:30

Best moment ever. One of the great moments of my life. One of the great moments of my life. Yeah, I'm in my mid-40s when I'm doing that and so forth. And it was connected to the, and then my mom told me at an opening night at the party, because it took me a while to find them. She could go, he kept going around saying, I'm Amir's father. That's my son. Are you kidding me, dude? That is the man.

SPEAKER_05 36:53

There's nothing better than that.

SPEAKER_02 36:55

So if nothing else, I'd love to, you know, if I if I didn't have any more days, and I hope I have many, I have lived a I've I've lived a very good life with a lot of blessings. And also, I'll just be straight up because you know this is the right place to take. You know, I anxiety and depression is runs in my family, and I I have to work, I have to, I have to, it's probably a good source of my gratitude when I feel good, and I can have a third eye and know that I should be grateful and am grateful, but my heart doesn't feel it. Like my I'm aware of it, but the art so it takes a lot of practice, but also, you know, therapy, sometimes medication, walk the dogs. So all these things, you know, you speak about my positivity and all these dreams come true. Not without a lot of tears.

SPEAKER_04 37:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

You know, but we're aware of the good. When people when people get real, people you okay. I'll stop talking. You know all this. Oh my god, I'm doing my my just going off on tangents, you guys. It's been very inspiring.

SPEAKER_05 38:00

Well, this child over here has been absolutely amazing. I left my corporate career, and between the two of us, we have well over 150 surgeries between the the both of us. And so we wanted to be able to help people with who have survived because I went through it alone. And I don't ever want anybody to go through it at all yet alone alone. And so I created the Contagious Smile Academy. And so she helped create courses and they're free, if not like$5. And we have sponsor, or let me take it back. We're trying to get sponsors to help because we've been floating it on our own. And we were trying to help take care of everybody and her. And then my husband lost his job on top of all of it. So we've been doing all this, and I said, I'm not gonna stop. This is what I'm gonna keep doing. And then we did the stucco squad as well. And then our podcast is a top global 1% podcast. And we keep doing this because I refuse to give up on people. I just can't do it. And people who are going through this, I tell them, you know, you have survived 100% of your worst days. And that is a hell of a track record because you think about that.

SPEAKER_10 39:04

I want to use a feeling that you have survived 100% of your worst days.

SPEAKER_05 39:09

And I say that when I'm doing speaking engagements, close your eyes and just realize, you know, I was laying on the floor, stabbed over a dozen times, my face broken, I was totally disfigured. And I survived that. I can get through today because I got through that. And it's in the rear, it's behind me. That's why the rearview mirror is behind you and you only look at it once in a while. Everything is forward. You keep forward. I've talked to so many people that it's like, I don't have much in me anymore. And I'm like, you have a little flicker, a tiny little light. And they said, Well, maybe that's all. That'll start a wildfire and I'm gonna help you get there.

SPEAKER_06 39:38

And I will help every step of the way.

SPEAKER_05 39:41

And she helps every step of the way. And she's just amazing and like she doesn't understand how amazing she is. They told her she'd never talk because what is surprising, can you do the lemon lazy lemon? Can I tell them? All right, she was born with almost a non-existing tongue. It's basically not there, it's about one millimeter, and her anatomy is totally different. And she was on a story on NBC and she got her Emmy, kind of like you. I know I'm not supposed to say that, but I'm a mom and I can brag. I'm like Amir's dad. Right. So I'm not fanwelling. Right. So she go ahead and say, now you have to try to do this. Say lemon lazy lollipop without using your tongue. Go ahead and do it. Lemon lazy lollipop.

SPEAKER_07 40:28

Can I try it?

SPEAKER_05 40:29

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_07 40:32

Lemon lazy lollipop.

SPEAKER_05 40:33

Uh-oh, you're moving your tongue. I see it. Have a hold down. Don't cook it. Don't move it.

SPEAKER_07 40:37

Lemon lazy lollipop.

unknown 40:40

No.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

That's not great.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

No, but I'm not hearing it. Yeah, I'm hearing her L sound. That's so much like I can hear her L sound without that's anyway. We're putting, I feel like. Can I ask a question? Uh please. Because I was actually gonna ask this for Faith. You may not have been asked this before. Is it hard all the attention that is put on you and all and all the hardships, like the attention on the hardships you've gone through as well? That that is because you're kind of you know thrust into the spotlight from everything you've been through and everything you've done. I'm just I'm curious about that. Do you ever sometimes just yeah, that's a that's my question.

SPEAKER_01 41:24

Honestly, I'm not always a fan of how I am, but I kind of help people when I can. And I even though I've been through a lot, I don't want people to go through and have been in the full hem. Um helpful.

SPEAKER_08 41:52

Incredible. Incredible.

Surgeries, Amputation, And Radical Love

SPEAKER_05 41:54

Amazing. And we always do things differently. Like I've never thrown her into the spotlight. Like she's always she's overcome everything that's been put in front of her, and we always talk about it like I my greatest gift and honor in my life is being her mom. Hands down, no questions asked, hands down, even though I've lost my hand recently. But it's the fact that she is your hand recently? Uh-huh, three years ago.

SPEAKER_10 42:15

What may I ask why? What happened?

SPEAKER_05 42:17

Well, it started with the domestic violence, and then we I put all of my injuries to the side to take care of her because she had to have a tracheostomy when she was in the NICU for six months, and she had it for two and a half years, and we were fed through a feeding tube. They said she'd never eat by mouth, and she was epileptic and she had seizures and one of my, sorry, was and ever I was a single mom dealing with all of this by myself. And so all of my injuries got put to the side. So in my face, I call them my Frankenstein's cards. I have 26 pieces of metal in my face when my both my jaws had to be completely rebuilt, shoulders rebuilt. They did 19 surgeries to correct my arm, my fingers were all broken and shamred, my ulnar nerve was shattered, nerve transposition, nerve transfers. What else? I had 10, four tens units, an implanted device, a spinal implanted device. And on the day of my amputation, you're gonna make me cry. My daughter tells my surgeon that my my daughter tells my surgeon, I want you to take my arm so that my mom can have it after everything she's done for me. You're gonna make me do this. Um, I want her to have my arm. And she said, I want you to have my arm so that she, because she's always been by my side and never let me go and always fought for me. And so I want to do something for her. And she offered the surgeon to give me her arm. And I said, Absolutely not. You're not doing that. There's no way. And she said, Well, you would give it to me. And I said, You're right. And then my daughter's a prankster, and her, she always pranks my husband and everybody else. Oh no, no. And she begged the surgeon to take her arm, and I said, So and then she asked the surgeon, Have you ever killed anybody? Because my mom better not be your first. And she was like, My mom better not be your first. And so every surgery I've had, I've never taken a single pain medication. I've never taken anything for pain because I have to come home and take care of her and be ready at the drop of anything. And so I have come home from all my surgeries the same day and taking care of her. And she is she's my inspiration. She's my reason.

SPEAKER_07 44:29

I've never heard anything like that. I've never heard a kid saying, Take my arm. I've never I don't even she did.

SPEAKER_05 44:38

She begged a surgeon and he was emotional. I'm a bag of no, you never beg. And she she begged him.

SPEAKER_02 44:46

You know, you know, you can't take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself. I'm deaf.

SPEAKER_05 44:53

I'm actually, I lost my hearing. I'm 100% deaf in this ear. Um, I had to take my eardrum, and I'm 88% deaf in this ear now from the abuse, too. And so I have a hearing aid. And but she is my everything. This kid is my light and my love. And I just want to see her succeed and have the happiest of life. And there's not a day that goes by. I don't tell her how much I love her and what she means to me, and that she's my rock and my heart. And just people, everyone, Amir, whenever you get in the room with this young lady, it changes your whole life. Me in a room with her changes who you are as a person because she will be in a hospital and we'll be coming out. And she she saw somebody who had a trach and and he was miserable. And she was like, When it comes out, this is what it'll look like. And she showed her scar.

SPEAKER_01 45:44

And I may not call not have fun, kind of fun, but she just has the biggest heart.

SPEAKER_05 45:54

And I just want her to see how I want her to see her through my eyes because she's beautiful and and stunning and amazing, and she's my hero and my inspiration, hands down, without a question. She really is.

SPEAKER_07 46:09

It's very, it's very clear.

SPEAKER_05 46:13

Thank you. Thank you. She's my everything. She is. And my everything. You're my heart. You're my soul. I'm your soul. And so she's she's everything. And so she I'm sorry, go ahead.

SPEAKER_02 46:28

No, you you remind me of what my my mom said to me. When she gave me uh my mom used to give me chicken soup for the soul, those books. I love those books. The decision to have your to have a child is to have your heart go beating outside of your body for the rest of your life.

SPEAKER_05 46:44

100%.

SPEAKER_02 46:45

You're my heart, but I've not heard a kid say to their mom, You're my soul. She wins, she's topping you.

SPEAKER_05 46:51

When she was 10, they interviewed her privately and they said, you know, what is your mom to you? And she said, She's a mountain. And they took that clip and framed it and presented it to me. She's so she's stronger than a mountain, that's right. And they framed me that clip and gave it to me. And it's been amazing. And like this kid, she's so vibrant and full of life, and never gets depressed or down. And like we celebrate every moment because I was never supposed to hear her talk. I was never supposed to hear her walk, or I wasn't going to be able to hear her speak. And I didn't hear my daughter until she was two and a half years old. And we we don't take one laugh for granted. Every Saturday night is father-daughter movie night, and they watch horror movies, and there's no phones. We want, I mean, there's no phones at the table, and we have conversations, and she will go up to somebody who has special needs and just start talking to them everywhere we go. Like it, and it's when I say my greatest honor is being her mom, like it is. I mean, this is the love of my life.

SPEAKER_08 47:52

Can I ask you a question?

SPEAKER_05 47:54

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 47:56

Besides your daughter, what is the next greatest honor of your life? My husband I knew you were gonna say that. So now I'm gonna ask you what your third greatest honor is.

SPEAKER_05 48:09

My grandparents who raised me, who taught me to be the mom I am, because I didn't have the parents, and I refused to bring on that cycle. I stopped the cycle because my biological dad put the man who beat me in my life, knowing what he would do to me. And I was never gonna let her have that parent because she deserved better and deserved more. So I fought and got the rights terminated, and I fought to keep her safe and protected, and that's why we're here and we do what we do.

SPEAKER_08 48:43

And what is your favorite thing to do for yourself?

SPEAKER_01 48:53

Help other people.

SPEAKER_04 48:56

That's all I know. That's what I do.

SPEAKER_02 49:00

Do you have a favorite TV show? A blacklist, it is a show that amazing. Yay, thank you. Uh a favorite show that is not shared with your daughter and your husband that you watch by yourself. A guilty pleasure, uh Housewives, uh Paradise.

SPEAKER_05 49:20

Uh I don't I don't have time. They'll tell you I work 20 hours a day, seven days a week. Whoa. And I'm on call. I will go. I was on a person I went to a person's house that had six kids. The dad was abused, and I was there on a standoff with them until midnight, and I went to court to help protect the children. And this is what I do. I I help people 24 hours a day. I'm always available. And so this is what I do. And I've been doing it for free forever, and we've almost lost our we've almost lost our house.

SPEAKER_04 49:52

And all because we keep helping people, and um this is supposed to happen. I mean, you're just gonna make me cry. There's always damn pollen from what is that? I never cry like this. Paula never works. But we just we don't want other people to go through what we've been through and we've stopped the cycle.

A Self-Care Assignment For Caregivers

SPEAKER_05 50:11

And I mean, they told me, and and all the doctors have told her that she should never have survived, and it was because of me. And I'm like, no, I don't, it's because of her. I mean, it was her. And well, now we have Paul and I mean, she's my reason. It's his fault, she's my reason. I mean, I I I try to pay it forward because I don't push religion either, but I know hands down that our purpose is to help others, and so that's what we do. And I don't look a gift horse in the mouth because I'm not supposed to be here. I was told I wouldn't be here, and she wasn't gonna be here.

SPEAKER_02 50:54

And I have an assignment for you.

SPEAKER_04 50:57

Oh god. It won't work. Uh let me write it down.

SPEAKER_02 51:04

No, no, no, no, but this is a this is this is bizarre.

SPEAKER_04 51:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 51:08

This is bizarre, but I I don't it's very very clear. Anyone who meets you or comes across you that they're you can't imagine uh uh a mother any and being more dedicated than their daughter than you.

SPEAKER_06 51:26

Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 51:27

And from that being a dedicated wife or part or girlfriend, wife or girlfriend? Wife, wife, a dedicated wife, and then you hear by extension dedicated gratitude to those who raise you. You you are a beacon, and you see that that helps people, and you get those emails, and you have sacrificed your day, possibly your home. That is clear. And that has become your identity. Which is a beacon and which is godly. Now I would like you to find something in your life that is selfish. Does that make any sense? And it shouldn't not selfish at the expense of anyone else. You're not gonna you're gonna be there for everyone first and foremost. But something for yourself that that makes you happy. Irrespective is not a word, regardless, not regardless, not regardless is not the right word. That you have this in spades. You have to teach people how to how to give this much and charity and gratitude and time and so forth. You you are you're the leader in that. So now you have to do the opposite, and you have to find that one little guilty pleasure. You know, you're probably you're gonna miss them. You're gonna go go for frozen yogurt by yourself, and you're gonna miss your people, your people, I know, but I think it might even I don't know why. But I find your own TV show that just you like and just watch it when you're folding some laundry or you know, while you're doing something for someone else, or while you're eating, or you know, not what do you guys want to watch? I want to watch this. They can watch with you if they want. Just I would just if for me from hearing at this, is if you define yourself entirely as devotion. I don't know, it might even make the devotion better. I'm not even sure. Is that weird? Is that weird? What do you think, Faith? Is that weird? What do you think, hubby?

SPEAKER_01 53:45

Not now.

SPEAKER_02 53:46

And I think that I I would guess that they want that for you. Very much so. I don't know, if your birthday, you go out for your favorite meal or something, like you know what? Every ever once a month, it's like wherever you want to go. I I want, you know, pasta carbone tonight, or tonight this is I want meatloaf or whatever. So every now and then it's whatever you want. I promise you, those two are gonna want to make it happen.

SPEAKER_05 54:11

Well, you know, I my dream would be from my the one thing I can't seem to get out, my book who kicked first, is my raw, raw. I wrote it when she was in a medically induced coma because I was being interrogated left, right, and center. And everybody who's read it is like, this I can't put it down. I'm afraid to lock the door and unlock the door and go outside. And and I I my dream is a one-day habit to be a movie.

SPEAKER_09 54:38

That is my dream for one day for a book you wrote or what?

SPEAKER_05 54:42

It's called Who Kicked First. It's my it's the raw truth of what I went through. And it's you know, about domestic violence and going through every step of it. He was active military. Not all military is bad. I'm very much an advocate for active military and reserve military. My husband was Air Force, but it it's it was military brother. It was a military cover-up. It was never he said, she said. I have proof of absolutely everything, everything that transpired, the medical records, everything that we went through, that I went through, that she went through. And the even just the cover of it, like my very first page is like, please don't hold my grammatical errors against me. This was not meant to ever be told or put out there. And then I've I've done all these other books after the fact. But my my number one dream, and you know, you'll say, and I and my husband will tell you, I'm the world's worst liar. My husband will tell you that I have always wanted you to be in that movie, like and you'll you'll laugh. But it's funny, I wanted you to play my husband now because he I had him before, and like he went to court with me, and he was the good guy.

SPEAKER_02 55:47

I gotta shave my head and work on my draw and see how I can do see how I can do. I love my wife, I love this little girl. Like, she I'm just making I don't sorry, I'm doing a terrible, terrible imitation accent.

SPEAKER_05 56:03

But yes, and so that's just and you know, I have to tell you, and this is gospel truth, is when I was going through all this night after night, I would purge the blacklist at night, and I was like, man, I need a Raymond Reddington because he never hurt bad people, the good people he protected those he loved, how he took care of Elizabeth and he watched over her. And I was like, I need a Raven Reddington right now. Like it, you know, just I loved his character and I loved yours because you brought in the sense of humor. And and I was like, why couldn't I have a team like this that helped take care of me through all of it? And you know, people have asked me on I can't, I've done a thousand interviews and everybody's like, if your book turned into a movie, who would you want to be? And I don't know who could play me, but I'm like, I know who I'd want to play him, and that's all, you know, and the bad guy like Keith or Sutherland, I think would be great for the bad, I call him idiot. But like, I don't know. But my number one dream would be for that book to be out.

SPEAKER_03 56:58

And love to hear that.

SPEAKER_02 57:00

So I I I wish I had good advice on that because I'm not a writer and I've never had a pitch go forward into I wish I I wish I knew, but I don't know, I would vision board it, manifest it, you know, maybe take a screenplay class, put it up, get final draft, which is write a screenplay, and then turn start typing it up into a into a uh it needs to be a screenplay from a book so you can adapt it. I don't know. I mean, I now with AI, there's so many, so many tools that can help or so forth. You make a short film about it, you know, it can raise a little bit of money and make a short film. There's there's there's no right way. I would I would begin that discussion or looks look up some books or videos or AI and begin. And again, if it doesn't happen, something else will happen on that journey. Something else cool will happen. Maybe you're a writer.

SPEAKER_05 57:54

Well, I've written 58 books now. What? Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 57:59

Oh, we didn't so what is uh what else was the other priority? Is writing? Oh gosh, you're an artist.

SPEAKER_05 58:04

Well, I write and it's all about healing. So I I've written books that are now being used in foster care to help the kids go through what they've been through. The stucco scare, the stucco series now.

SPEAKER_09 58:15

Are you making money as a writer? I'm curious. Do you have a publisher?

SPEAKER_05 58:18

Are you self-produce in the self-publishing, but there's I'm not making any money in it, it's not enough. It's not there, it's through Amazon.

SPEAKER_09 58:27

You have to write a children's book. I'm sure you've written a bunch of children's books.

SPEAKER_05 58:30

Yeah, it's the I wrote Stucco Squad about our golden retriever helping four to eight-year-olds. There, there's 11 books in that series, and then I wrote my prequel, and I've done all these others. She's written five books, but the you know, you have to be James Patterson to make any money writing books, and so that's the thing.

SPEAKER_02 58:48

Hard to make money as an artist, my goodness. Gotta love it. Can't do it for the money, do it for the love. And then sometimes, sometimes hopefully the money will follow. Anyway, do you guys have any more questions for me?

SPEAKER_01 59:05

Well, I hope I'm not.

SPEAKER_05 59:06

You like totally made it her entire day. She wants to, if we can't, when we're done recording, she wants to send you these little keychains that her and my husband make of your dogs. Oh and she wrote a poem for you, but she doesn't want to read it, so she wants to send it to you. So she is just I write poetry too.

SPEAKER_03 59:29

You do?

SPEAKER_02 59:30

Yeah, my favorite course of college was uh modern poetry, uh, besides my acting classes. Yeah, and every now and then when I don't know how to express myself, I just write a poem or I work on a poem for a while. It helps me release nothing to publish. Once in a while, I put them on social media, but generally I love it.

SPEAKER_01 59:47

I want yes, she does. She does. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 59:52

Do you want to do you wanna put it in the chat right now and I can read it?

SPEAKER_05 59:57

She has she has it in the other room. Yeah, you could go, you have to put it in the chat, you have to type it out.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:02

Is it long? Can we do it? Is there time for put it in the chat?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:05

Yeah, she has time. I have a lot. She's written a lot, that's for sure. All of a sudden, yes. Here, you could put it over here, but I'm gonna go ahead and end the recording and then you can do that, okay? I want to thank everybody for going on this room with us.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:19

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:21

Sorry, okay. Sorry.

SPEAKER_09 1:00:22

I want to read the poem in the recording.

SPEAKER_01 1:00:25

Wow, wow. I have a lot. Do the one that you wrote that you dedicated that you wrote for me.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:34

That that one about being my mom that like brought tears. And you I will a couple for you. Well, then you just have to type it out real quick.

SPEAKER_08 1:00:42

What wait, wait, wait, Faith, which one which one do you want to do?

SPEAKER_01 1:00:45

Which one do you want to read? Okay. Well, and I'll kind of out loud. Well, he wants to read it, so you have to type it out.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:57

Or you or dad can read it.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:00

Which one? No, not her one. He types very, very fast.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:04

Okay, great.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:05

All right, type it out.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:06

Type it up and I will read it, and then I think that's a nice way to if this is a gift for me. I would like to see. Share it. I share the share.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:18

So, what have you got coming up that we can promote for you since you brought tears to me?

Directing Off Broadway And Closing

SPEAKER_02 1:01:26

I directed a play called Lost in Dell Valley that is running through May 3rd in New York. It's been a passion project, it's a one-man show written and starring Ned Van Zant. Ned Van Zant played Blacklister Leonard Call in season two and season three of The Blacklist. Who's a good guy, Blacklister? He actually can find anything analog. Uh, that's how we met. Our characters crossed the path one day, and then as actors do, you know, you hang out on set and you swap stories, and he had more stories than anyone I'd ever heard. And he said, I actually wrote a play about this period of my life. And he has been through some, some, some stuff too, that are just a heavier jaw on the floor. And it's a big element of the story about the power of art and power of acting. And and I was looking for projects to direct that were character-based and actor-based, not like, you know, not a whole lot of bells and whistles or musicals and stuff. And I said, I have some ideas about some thoughts on the thing. And I told him, I said, Oh wow, we we haven't found the right director yet. And jump ahead. Jump ahead. He asked me if I would, you know, work on it. I asked what was going on with it. He asked me if I would work on it. And we began working on it hard again four years ago. And we workshopped it, jumping in, did readings, workshopped it again, and we went to the Edinburgh uh Fringe Festival last summer, which is the big theater festival in the world in Scotland. And we got some very nice press notices and a couple of awards, and we brought it back and we workshopped it some more, and now it's running off Broadway.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:56

Congratulations.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:57

This is my directorial debut in New York.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:59

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:01

And I remember I said I wanted to direct, I didn't know how and when. And I have to say, it was there's a lot of days that I was like, this is so you know, for no money, this is just burning out. I'm burning out. Time is life. I'm loving it, but I'm also just like, I have so many things to do, you know. And like you said, you almost for free is a is a hard thing to do. And just this just the very last performance, I was like, oh wow, this is all worth it. It's really coming together. I'm really proud of it and proud of Ned.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:26

Do you still talk to James Fader?

SPEAKER_02 1:03:28

No, Jay, no. James is uh James is a James is James is like Reddington. He is mysterious, and and he's also like Reddington in that he is uh a Luddite. He does, I don't even think he has a uh iPhone.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:41

Really?

SPEAKER_09 1:03:42

Does he have an iPhone? But you