Breaking The Silence On Abuse

A lot of people say they want survivors to “speak up” until the story gets messy, angry, and specific. We go there. We talk about domestic violence and coercive control the way it actually shows up: not as a single incident, but as a system of fear, manipulation, and escalating harm that can follow you into the ER, the workplace, and the courtroom.

We also zoom out to the global reality of intimate partner violence, including cultures where reporting abuse brings stigma instead of protection. Michael shares what he learned in law enforcement, and Victoria shares lived experience from a military marriage where status and uniforms didn’t create safety, they created cover. We get honest about how institutions fail even when there are visible injuries, witnesses, medical records, and audio proof, and why victims often stay, return, or go silent when the consequences of leaving can be deadly.

You’ll hear us unpack the psychology of abusers, the cycle of abuse, and the questions we should be asking instead of “why didn’t you leave?” We also talk about the legal reality of restraining orders, termination of parental rights, and the mindset of doing whatever it takes to keep a child safe. Along the way, we mention Victoria’s memoir, Who Kick First, and why telling the truth still matters even when justice feels capped, limited, or delayed.

If you care about mental health, survivor advocacy, military spouse support, trauma recovery, and real accountability, hit play. Subscribe, share this with someone who needs it, and leave a review so more people find the conversation.

Transcript

Birthday Banter And Quick Catch-Up

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Howdy y'all. Welcome to another episode of Contagious Smiles Unstoppable with the sexy, lovely, red-headed vixen Victoria Cure, author, publisher, singer, songwriter, mother of the year.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

Goddess wrong with you. Because you got older, like all of a sudden. Oh, here we go. Yep, look who's downstairs making a mess eating the couch. Here we go. Yep. Happy birthday, babe.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Seriously. Happy birthday.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Seriously, you're not wearing slides with socks, are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Only because I was just walking across the floor.

SPEAKER_02 0:43

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 0:44

Hey. It ain't nothing but a chicken wing.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

Yeah, thank you to those of y'all who wished happy birthday on Facebook. And I don't answer.

SPEAKER_00 0:55

I know. I even wrote like the sweetest message to you, and that's what I get. Yep, that's

Mental Health Month And Real Resources

SPEAKER_00 1:05

what I get.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

So here we are at the end of May. End of um health awareness. Mental health month. What's uh in store for next month?

SPEAKER_00 1:14

We are just more and more and more like we're just going. We have so much that we're trying to help people with and getting out information and just trying to bring resources. And you know, I I was doing a session today with someone, and it's heartbreaking because you know, we're in the United States, and I think people take things for granted. And an individual I was speaking with was not in the United States, and in other countries around the world, it is literally, I don't even know how to say it. Like it's it's barbaric. It's well, yeah, it's barbaric, but if you even try to go, it's a lot like the US, but just a whole lot worse. Where if you even try to go get help, you're looked down upon for even saying something as outrageous in their eyes as my husband is beating me. Like people just it's expected, and that's that that just no, absolutely not. Absolutely not. Like it's you know it's it's happening all over the world, but when you learn that in other countries that it's really just a gazillion times more. I don't even know I'm at a loss.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

Like So, what is my wife talking about? I give you an example. Stop. Stop looking. We have all the dogs in here. My dogs look at my hand here.

SPEAKER_00 2:47

That's not your dog, that's my baby.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

When I was a police officer, I come across many, many different nationalities of ethnicities. And and I had to learn a little bit of in each language to get certain internal look. To get certain information. Okay, name, address, things like that.

Global Abuse And Cultural Cruelty

SPEAKER_02 3:10

After so long we're dealing with with some of these folks, I I come to learn a horrifying truth. Truth of one culture, one nationality that it's more than just one. No, no, I I'm I'm speaking about one individu one particular because the men in this culture carry around a small vial of acid. Okay? And if if they are mad or whatever the case may be, if if they are uh dissatisfied with their wife, they will throw this vial of acid in their face to disfigure them so that no other person will have them.

SPEAKER_00 3:58

This is current time or like back in the day.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

Oh, our little one just came up for a visit.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

Let me have her. She can sit in mommy's lap. Come here, Lovey.

unknown 4:09

Come on.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

Come here, baby.

SPEAKER_02 4:11

So come here, my yellow. She's about 40 pounds now. She's so sweet. Her little white golden retriever puppy forever. But no, uh, another example is that it's it's it's passed down in the culture that the women are supposed to be treated a certain way. You know, and the men teach their young ones, teach both their daughters and their sons to treat women.

SPEAKER_00 4:45

What do you mean treat their daughters like you specify that? Because people are like, what is it?

SPEAKER_02 4:51

Son, this is how you treat a woman. Let's use your your sister as an example. She will be the guinea pig.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

And they assault her.

SPEAKER_02 4:58

And they assault her, be I don't want to say that but anyway. It's just horrible.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

We're not in the 18-1900s anymore. I don't understand how, you know, I mean, this is just crazy. Why is it that women can't be treated with the respect and dignity that we deserve?

SPEAKER_02 5:26

That's right. So uh yeah y'all know we don't agree with any type of physical abuse.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

None.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Or mental or verbal, financial, any any type of abuse. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

I just don't understand. I mean, I don't know why it's still it's still going on, you know, it's still happening with and the nobody really understands how like serious it is that the murder suicide rate is just crazy, crazy, crazy. You know, here's okay, for instance, I saw an article that Dolph Londron was interviewed for, right? Dolph London, everybody knows Dolph Londron from Rocky, he was the Russian fighter from all of the expendables, right? Here's the thing Dolph London is a flipping genius. Most people don't even realize he graduated like top of his class at MIT. I mean, that's no joke. That is no joke. And he was beaten when he was young. And then the Reacher, the the guy who plays the Reacher now, I can't think of I can't think of his name. But he did a an article where I was reading it and be careful of that spider right there, right? Um and I was watching this video of an article he did and he talked about even after he had all of this success and all of this other going for him, he tried to hang himself even after having kids and everything else, because of things that have happened in their lives. And and it's you know, so sad because people who have gone through such horrific events in their life

Trauma Echoes Into Adult Life

SPEAKER_00 7:20

I mean, even like innocent children, we have to go through spending our adulthood recovering from our childhood because of a horrible person who can't get themselves right.

SPEAKER_02 7:34

Yeah. You know, and and and as kids, how do you know that it's it's wrong?

SPEAKER_00 7:41

You don't. That's all you know.

SPEAKER_02 7:43

No, because you're being trained, you're being taught, you're being told by you know the the ones who are supposed to love you and protect you. You're being trained by that individual.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

You trust them because that's what you're supposed to do, because those are your family, that is your parents, and you don't know any different. You don't know better. That's what you think you're supposed to to do. What you see is what you do.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

Yeah. I guess it's it's kind of like being in a cult, you know. You're you're taught one doctrine, you're taught this is a certain way, and this is the only way, and everything else is false.

SPEAKER_00 8:20

But I mean, I can tell you from the thing who had been in the ER dozens and dozens of times that even I mean, you go in there and you have fingerprints and thumbprints across your throat,

ER Red Flags And Silence

SPEAKER_00 8:36

and the person with you goes, Oh, they're clumsy. Come on, now they're clumsy, and nobody puts up a red flag and nobody does anything. You know, I mean, not every hospital is that way. I mean, that's true, but so many people are so afraid to like try to get in and bring in, you know, a social worker, bring down somebody to ask them a question, or you know, get the person out of the room for a minute and ask. Just ask a simple question because there is no universal sign when your abuser is standing right beside you. There's nothing. Trust me. You know, I mean.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

And that goes back to the the training for the law enforcement and you know, medical personnel to look for these clues, these cues.

SPEAKER_00 9:21

But sometimes if it's a good old boy right beside him and it's another officer or military person, you know, they turn and look the other way. And and we as spouses are expected, quote unquote, to be like, well, they have a very tough job and they come home and they're under a lot of stress. Do you know who has the tough job? The women who come home and get the crap beat out of them. The the fact that they come home from a hard day at work and can't leave it at the door. And so instead, they make our body their playground, right? Because they had a bad day. Or, you know what, what about us? We had a bad day. Now you're giving us a bad life because we didn't sign up for that. None of us raise our hand and say we want to be the battered spouse, we want to be the battered woman. We don't do that, you know, and and any tiny little thing will set off an abuser. And I've had so many people, why did you make him mad? Why didn't you just do what he wanted to do? And you know what? You could do everything verbatim that that prick wants, and somebody's gonna cut him off on the way, or his girlfriend is gonna say she can't see him tonight, or he got in trouble at work or something else, and he's still gonna come back to the house and take it out on you. You could do everything you're supposed to do. I was told if I didn't, I wasn't a good soldier, right? That's what I was told. You know, I wasn't doing it to regulation. And if you know the bed wasn't made with the corners tucked in and all this crap, then I wasn't doing it to regulation, and then that was on me, and then I had to quote unquote be put in line. And you know, you go back and look at it now, and that was true. Yes, that's true. And those words, yes, and then you go back and it's like you go back and look, and you're like, that's just dumb, right? But then if I ever said it, I only smarted off to him like three times, right? And and two of them were after I had already had faith. But it took a lot, and he openly admitted in court that he would have never hit me if I wasn't pregnant, because he knew I would have landed him on the ground. He knew this. He he knew this, but I honestly and openly admit that I made a deal with the devil and said, if you don't go after my stomach, I won't fight you back. Because the first thing you ever learn is de-escalation. And when you are asleep and you get woken up to somebody straddled over you, beating you in the face, telling you, bitch, get up and get me something to drink. I'm thirsty. That's very hard to de-escalate. What are you doing? She lit me right my lips. Well, that's what you get for getting in her face.

SPEAKER_02 11:56

Dog, you're not supposed to lick me.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

Well, that's to her face. That's called karma. That's karma. But seriously, you can't de-escalate a situation when you're sleeping and you get woken up beaten in the face because he tells you, bitch, get up and go get me something to drink. That's you know exactly how it is. And it's different in the military than it is in the civilian sector, because for instance, when I would go to my OBGYN, they would call his command. And my OB was a civilian, and they would call his command

Military Power And No Accountability

SPEAKER_00 12:30

and they'd say, okay, we're gonna look at it, blah, blah, blah, and nothing would happen. But you know, here's the thing Idiot, as I referred to him, was so so racist. I mean, I was told I couldn't have a male doctor, I couldn't have an African American, it had to be a white woman, period. And I actually had my first OBGYN was an African-American woman that I adored. I thought the world of her, she was amazing. And she snapped him into like, you know, next week once. And he was like, You ain't ever coming back to this, da-da-da, and the words I will never say ever. Because he he was like, you know, he wanted to go into the KKK, he wanted to put the crosses in the yard. And I was like, No. And people like, well, how didn't you not know this up front? Well, I didn't even live with him until after I was dumb enough to agree to torture. But the the point is, is that they are so charismatic, they are so good at manipulation, and they they placate on you, they find your your weakness, and they really make you fall into this trap of they're your knight in shining armor, that they're gonna come in there and just fix what's wrong. And, you know, he knew from the jump I was not over you. I told him I was not in love with him. And he said, You're not being fair because you're still hung up on stucco, and which was my husband's nickname, and that you are not being fair. So in return, you're not giving us a fair chance. And they are so good at guilt trips. I mean, it that is just it's it's candy and eerie because he would say, you know, we've waited our whole life to be treated right, and now we have it, and you're held up on somebody who didn't think enough to be with you, and and you're letting someone who lied to you keep you from being with someone who wouldn't. And it's like the biggest mind screw, and I normally say a different word, but it it really is. The guilt trip is a just horrible. And they know it and they see when they start to chip away at that, and then that's when they come in even you know, harder. They have their their phases in their cycle. And it's just dumbfounding because you know, you really are like, no, it's going too fast, you're rushing me down. I literally was sitting on the bathroom floor with my palm pilot, if that doesn't date me at all, trying to find a flight back. Excuse you, river had to burp. Sorry. Trying to find a flight back because every part of me knew A, he wasn't my soulmate, B, this is wrong. C, I needed to get the hell out of Dodge. And I sat there and just started praying about it. And the thing is, is that I do not push religion on anyone. I don't, but I prayed about it, I prayed to my grandparents, and just I had this feeling come over me that something amazing was gonna come out of this. And I got pregnant with faith. And the thing is, is I I didn't go back. The average person goes back seven times. And the first time I tried to leave, he shot and killed my puppy to show me what he would do if I tried again, which is so hard to say that. And I'm looking at this sweet puppy licking your face.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

This is all river rose. Stop licking me, get off my ear. She likes to nibble my ear.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

But River Rose, it's tough, and people don't understand. And then when they're looking out from the outside and they just want to be so critical as to why have you stayed, why haven't you left? You know, why are you still here? And the thing is that people won't take a minute to say, what would I do if I was in their place? What would I do at that moment if that's where I was?

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Let me ask you something, Victoria. Since you've talked to so many people, you've you've done so many classes. Let me ask you Are are there different mentalities to the abuser? Let me let me say this. Some abusers will will hurt the individual to where they know where the bruises are.

SPEAKER_00 17:17

They know where or they do them where they can't be seen by the common you know, eye. Like you're gonna be dressed to hide.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

Okay, but in your case, you had the the SOB who didn't give a shit.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

Right.

SPEAKER_02 17:29

Who saw his handiwork?

SPEAKER_00 17:31

Right. So literally in like July, and I was in corporate America in a business suit. I was wearing a turtleneck, I was wearing a shirt and tie, I was wearing, you know, whatever, and I was covered from wrist to ankle because I was hiding, and I wore a ton of makeup to try to cover up. Oh, yeah, everybody noticed.

SPEAKER_02 17:51

But they didn't say anything.

SPEAKER_00 17:52

No, they were petrified of him.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

So which individual is the more terrifying? The one who flaunts his work or the one who I don't think that's even fair to ask because it depends.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

I mean, it it you can come across absolutely terrifying. People were petrified of him. I mean, my assistant was scared out of her mind when he even showed up. And you had to like, in my office, you had to go into security, then you had to go to like the reception area, and then the receptionist would call back, and I was on the executive floor, and we had multiple floors in our in our building that we had, and then you would have to go through the executive suites, and then you would get to my assistant to get to me. I was in a corner office, and everybody knew, and I would get all these messages. He's here, he's here. Like people were telling me ahead of time. And I mean, he didn't care. It was like he had this mentality that he could get away with absolutely everything, and he was never held accountable for his actions. Like he took a military car off the installation and would come to my office, and I have no idea how he got away with that, like no idea how he could do that, but he did. And he would come up in uniform and he would be belligerent, and nothing would happen to him. He would beat me in his uniform, nothing happened to him. I have bruises from his military boots that were clear as day, his boot, not a question. It even matched the bottom of his boot. Nothing happens to him. He broke my nose on the installation in front of his captain. Nothing happens to him. Like, you know, instead of going after him when they there's witnesses, instead, they interrogate me. Who saw him do this to you? What time of day was it? What were you wearing? Were you facing north, south, east, or west? Were you facing which building? What was the weather like that day? I'm telling you, we don't know a doggone thing, except all of a sudden, my nose is running into my mouth and it's blood. That there is blood all over the steering wheel, that I don't know where anybody is because my vision is blurry, that I can't tell, nor do I care because I'm sitting in the vehicle. He's standing outside, and he takes me back the back of the head and slams me into the steering wheel. Nobody notices this. Or he grabs me by the hair, turns me and faces him, and then just starts

Evidence, Court Fights, Civil Win

SPEAKER_00 20:25

beating me in the face. And there's people there, and they don't do anything. They don't even pull him off, they do nothing, and they know I'm pregnant. I mean, I went all the way to base command, the base commander, and they said we knew of you, and we knew that there was one wife in that platoon that was pregnant and getting beaten. Wow. And that is why, you know, I wanted faith to know you don't just give up, you don't just, you know, wipe your hands and walk away. So I went after and got the rights terminated. And I would did this alone. I had no support. And luckily, you went to court with me about it. But, you know, then I decided to go on. And even though he walked on nine felonies, nine dead to write felonies, where I had audio confessions, I had 17 and a half hours of audio on him. I had photographs, I had medical records that coincided with photographs. And everybody would just say, Why do you have so much? Well, because nobody did anything when I brought it to him, number one. And number two, I wanted to ensure that if he did kill me, my daughter was never going near him. That was the thing. And so he he just kept getting away with everything. So I took it and went civilly and sued and won. And no, it doesn't amount to hilla beans monetarily because there's a cap on it as well. When you go after the government, and I've signed NDAs. And all that, but I held my head up high at the end of that day when I walked out of that court because I won. And it wasn't, like I said, about monetary. It was about what was right, you know. And there was so much proof. And that's the thing, is it just to some people, it doesn't matter that you have all this proof because they don't care. And you know, here's something a lot of people, you know, didn't know. After, and I don't know if you know this, after she was born, my husband has legally adopted her, but he's he swears up and down that he calls her his leftover, which is just horrible. I mean, it is squiggly. Oh my god. Anyway, so when we were doing this, and I was going after the termination of rights, he demanded a paternity test. Now, I couldn't go to the bathroom without the door open and him standing there because he didn't know what I was doing. He had like paranoia out the wazoo. So literally, he would follow me to my office. I had to call checkpoints. We didn't even do it until after being married. And then it he only it was consensual only twice, and the rest was sexual assault. Okay. So he wants this now. He wants to have a paternity test. He asked the judge. I I told the judge there was no way in Sam's Green Creation that I was going to pay for this or even part of it, right? I'm not doing it. So he was told he had to pay, I think it was like $500. I don't remember the cost of it because I didn't pay for it. So the lady goes out also because Faith was medically complex and and you know very fragile, failure to thrive. They didn't think she would make it. There was a home visit done. And when they did, they were also going to do the paternity test.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

So they You couldn't um say no to that.

SPEAKER_00 23:55

I had no reason to hide it.

SPEAKER_02 23:58

I I wouldn't I would have.

SPEAKER_00 24:00

Well, no, but here's the thing, and I'm I'm glad that I didn't say no. Because do you know what happens? The lady goes over there, and I have the report from her. She goes over there, and in the report says she was afraid to even step in to the house. Because it was so odd is that I had to have it like military grade clean, right? It had to be perfectly clean all the time. I'm running a company, everything else, cooking, cleaning, everything. Nothing could be out of line. The like the pictures she put with her report, everything else, it was Sanford and Sun regurgitated. I cannot understand how that happened. So he had people, he had soldiers living with him that were under him, which is like a big no-no in the military, right? You can't have soldiers under your command living with you off base, but he did. And so the lady goes and asks for idiot, and this person stands up and says, I'm idiot, and she says, Okay, I'm gonna swab the inside of your mouth, blah, blah, blah. I need you to sign this. Individual signs it and she says, Great, now I need to see your ID to verify who you are and verify signature, and he's shit because he had someone else posing as him. So that the DNA and paternity test would come back that it wasn't, you know, his, that she wasn't his. And so it really helped dramatically with the termination of rights, because I mean, she documented the whole thing and said he didn't even, you know, and then she was like, Are you kidding?

SPEAKER_02 25:33

I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

And so, yeah, and so we have all the documents from the lady, we have the photos from it and everything, and then we even have the signatures that don't coincide, and so you know, it was just this was how it was from inception, and it's just like it's mind-blowing how they come in one way and it's totally separate, like and you know, the his family, if you will, would always, you know, say, like, I didn't think they had a clue. And then they came down and they were like, We thought he stopped this with the last one. And I was like, What? What are you talking about? They had all the knowledge in the world, what was happening, that it had been going on before and before and before. And they thought it had stopped. And it was like, why wouldn't you have warned me? And their answer is, Well, you make so much money and we were getting our bills paid and all this other stuff. And it, you know, and it had nothing to do with the fact that they were blue-collar workers, which I have nothing against, as you know. But now, like, she had a brand new vehicle that I was paying for, and there was all these other things that made me just an idiot, right? And I don't want to be called an idiot because he's an idiot, but like just the fact that you you go from this, and you knew me before. I was this, I was never cocky, I was never stuck up or snobby, I was a competent professional woman, and I had all my stuff together. I just wanted my own family, right? I wanted my own intimate family, and intimate means partner and kids and things like that. And the timing was wrong with Solomon and I. And so it didn't work. And I tried something I've never done in my life. I tried the jealous card and that backfired 150%. And so, in turn, this happened. And, you know, he placated on my weakness, and that's what happened. But they go through these cycles and they want to be everything that they're not. They they portray themselves in a way that from the outside people are jealous of. But when you get to know them and you speak to them and you spend 30 seconds with them, you know that they're full of shit. Right. And I mean it from the outside in, right? But I mean, and it's horrible because to hear that this is going on also in other countries is just it's heartbreaking. Like we women should not be used as a doormat and then beaten like a wet dormat. You know what I mean? Like it there's no excuse for a man or woman, because men get abused too. There is no excuse whatsoever for anyone to put their hands on you in an unwarranted manner. You know, if you say you're a man and you say, I'm the man, you know, or whatever crap's falling out of your face, walk the hell away. Then you're a man, right? You come up and put hands on a woman or a child, you're not a man. You're a monster, you're a coward, and you're a piece of shit. And you know what? If you have an issue with saying that, I'll say it. And, you know, when I did go back to court with him that final time, I made it very clear on the court record that I would never seek him out. I would never go to his place of employment, I would never go to his place of residency. And I wanted it on the court record. And I said, I'll never go after him and I'll never hit him first, ever. But you know what I said? He has made me disabled. He has literally injured me to the point where I'm no longer whole. And if he came after me or my daughter, I have the legal right to stop the threat. I will never hit him first. I will not hit him first. And I put that on court record and I said, I will not hit him first, but I have the right to stop the threat. And I know because he's tried to kill me and Faith, my daughter, which I made very clear in court that she was online, that he's tried to kill her in and out of utero, right? And he's tried to kill me. And because of that, I have the right to stop the threat. And the judge looked at me and said, I want you to take a minute and use this as your healing stone number one, because I have a permanent restraining order, and so does our daughter. But for him to say that he basically trained me because every time he hit me, if I cried, he'd hit me again. If he stabbed me and I cried, he'd stab me again. And these were things that he would do. If he hit me with a belt, he hit me again. These are things that he would do until I showed no emotion. So the judge said you basically trained her like an alcoholic. If you drink and you drink to get drunk, and you want to get stupid drunk, you have to drink even more than normal. So you've done basically everything to her that you possibly can. And he said I did everything but pull the trigger. I mean, because he had a gun to my head, and he said, I did everything but pull that trigger. And so I said, Your Honor, I give you my word, I'm never hitting him first. Never. And the judge looked at him and said, You know, she just signed your death warrant if you're dumb enough to cross that line. And he told him that. And he was like, Because she's saying she won't go after you, she's saying that you took enough of her life away and that what she's wanted in life she has now, she's a mom. And that she's not gonna give up that time because she's a mom. But if you cross that line and you hit her, you're done. And he said, You need to realize that. And that stayed with me, and it still stayed with me because it's a first of all, it was a male judge, right? And to have him say that was really eye-opening for me. But you have to make sure that you say in court, I'm not gonna hit him first, I'm not gonna seek his employment, I'm not gonna seek his place of residency. You know, these are things, and he tries to change his appearance all the time, right? But he's still the ugly same piece of shit. He he he just is, and no matter what he does to change his appearance, he hasn't gotten any better. I'm sorry, I you know, I I used to check regularly and now I don't. I I I have seen not that long ago, and it's it's like literally, I I want to just say I was Helen Keller. I had to because I even told him I wasn't attracted to him. Like I openly said that. And he's like, Well, it's because you're all stucco-bied. You know, you have to like let stucco go. And then, you know, women crave me. And I was like, What? And my best friend Kim, she was like, the day she met him, she she saw him and she goes, This is the best prank you've ever pulled off on me in my life. Like she did, and she said, I don't know how you got him to agree to pretend to be, because there is no way on your darkest hour you would have dated this. No way. And she used to joke to him about you, and it pissed him off to high hell. I mean, just high hell. And it it was, I mean, I was just there was nothing about him that not even moved a mountain, it didn't even move a pebble, you know, but they lure you in and they trap you, and then you realize, what am I gonna do? I mean, that's the problem. And you know, you know, I was asked during the termination of rights by the panel what I would do because we both had to swear under oath with a bunch of questions, and we were, you know, under oath, and they had a reporter and a court reporter there. And these they asked me, what would you do if the rights were not granted? And I said, I'm going back. And they said, Excuse me. And I said, He will never, ever, as long as I'm here breathing, have her alone again. Ever. And if that means I have to go back to make sure that she's safe because you're not doing your job behind that bench, then that is exactly what I will do. Because he will never have her alone again. Because if he took her away for a weekend, he wouldn't bring her home. He wouldn't. And I will never let it happen. Never. So I'm telling you right now, if you don't, that I am putting liability on you right here, right now, today, that if something happens to her, it's on you. Right to terminated across the board. And so you just have to realize, and yeah, at first I went into the bathroom and puked my head off, but then I came back in there and I was mama bear, and I was like, you know, if you know, and you know what they say, and the judge at first said to me, he hasn't hit her, he's only hitting you. Um, he did try to kill her in and out of Euro. And I don't understand how you could say that. I'm sure he has kids if he's married, divorced, or whatever. I'm sure he has grandkids. For you to say, or for any judge to say, well, he hasn't hit the kids, it's a matter of time. It is a matter of time before they go after the children, the pets, family members, friends, whatever it is. They all need to be on an island by themselves. Like, you know, pedophiles get their own little eggs in in jail. Why can't abusers get their own little island somewhere? I mean, seriously, it's island of assholes, you know, or or you know, I can come up with a whole bunch of different names, but I'll probably get censored. But seriously, I mean, put them all on an island. I mean, I actually have different you know, thoughts of what they could be doing. They could test, you know, like fire crop crotch rocket. You know, like they could try these things. I don't know, I'm just saying. There's all sorts of things that they they could do.

SPEAKER_02 35:28

How's that song go?

SPEAKER_00 35:31

Don't put a banana in my butt. I wouldn't put a banana. That's not what I would suggest. I wouldn't suggest a banana. That's too gentle.

SPEAKER_02 35:42

Y'all, y'all hear my wife Victoria talking, and you know, it it's just her and I here in our little office. There's there's no there's no script, there we're not reading off anything in front of us. We barely have the

Memoir Talk Then Lighter Wrap-Up

SPEAKER_02 35:55

internet on here in the background. But my wife looks at me with those beautiful green eyes of hers and talks to me. And she's relating this story, this lived experience to y'all while she's looking at me dead in the eye the whole time. That's what makes this podcast successful. Because they they feel it, they they hear it, they they're there in that moment as you talk.

SPEAKER_00 36:25

I've had a bunch of people ask me if I would do the audiobook for who kicked first, and I I don't I think if anybody could read it, it would have to be me because the emotion would come out for me to read it. I couldn't do it by myself. I've I haven't gone through and read the book. I mean, like I've told so many people before is that it's 1,000% factual. And so, like when somebody would read it and they'd say, Oh, I'm on this page where this happened, and I'd be like, oh, da da da. And they're like, How do you know that's the very next line you're that's in there?

SPEAKER_02 36:59

How about a mirror?

SPEAKER_00 37:00

It no, it'd have to be read by a woman. And I said, Because the whole book is 1,000% factual. The only things changed are geographics and names. That's it. So it it literally, it's not hard to remember the truth, you know, and I have all the evidence to back it up. It's not a he said, she said thing.

SPEAKER_01 37:21

Shanti. She's way too young.

SPEAKER_00 37:25

No, if somebody who would read this has to have the lived experience and emotion that has to come with it. Like you have to read it, and it would have anger and fear and tears and screaming, and I I mean, it it would be like I can't even begin to explain.

SPEAKER_02 37:43

We'll be taking auditions tomorrow.

SPEAKER_00 37:45

Oh, stop.

SPEAKER_02 37:46

Be sure to reach out to Victoria on her email. Lord.

SPEAKER_00 37:50

Anyway.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

So she's talking about her first book, Who Kick First. It's a memoir.

SPEAKER_00 37:56

Memoir.

SPEAKER_02 37:57

That's why I said memoir.

SPEAKER_00 37:58

That's not what she said.

SPEAKER_02 37:59

It's French, darling.

SPEAKER_00 38:00

I am French, darling.

SPEAKER_02 38:02

You're not French.

SPEAKER_00 38:03

Yes, I am.

SPEAKER_02 38:04

Yeah, French fry, you get so damn skinny.

SPEAKER_01 38:06

Uh-uh. I wish. I'm working on it. You are a French fry. I'm a tater. I'm a tater tot. You're a tater salad. Tater salad. He was awesome. I love seeing him. I ain't seen him in a long time.

SPEAKER_00 38:16

I drove to Alabama to see him live. And I had third row and I had not tater salad. And I had no idea that the stench of his cigar would make me as sick as it did. I had no clue. He was sitting there drinking a whiskey, or I don't know, it was brown. I guess it was whiskey. I don't know. He was drinking the whole time. He came out smashed.

SPEAKER_02 38:39

I'd say probably Scotch or bourbon.

SPEAKER_00 38:42

I don't know. I don't know. What do they whatever? But like he was freaking hysterical. So what are you gonna do for the rest of your birthday?

SPEAKER_02 38:50

Are you gonna make my leg is killing me. That psychic nerve.

SPEAKER_00 38:54

I told you you get a nerve block, you won't listen if it's killing me, y'all. You will not listen to it.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

It hurts so bad to sit down. I gotta always stand up. I stand up in a restaurant. I couldn't even enjoy my hot wings on my birthday. On your birthday. Wife said, Where do you want to go to eat? She's like, Let's go to the volcano. No, I don't want that. I just want hot wings.

SPEAKER_00 39:15

So I That's how you've lost 20 something pounds in like a few weeks. Yes. And then Faith was like, I want to buy him some new shorts so he can, you know, have some other shorts because he's doing the pants on the ground stuff. When he doesn't wear the belt, and my britches will fall off. When he's ladies, he's married. When he wears his his shorts without a belt on, they just fall right down. But you need to remind everybody you're married.

SPEAKER_02 39:45

I'm married, y'all. These are my rings.

SPEAKER_00 39:49

Never again do you stray.

SPEAKER_02 39:51

I get remarried every year. And this year's your year to ask.

SPEAKER_00 39:56

Next Tori ma'am, Oray. No, we're not doing this. You can keep going through this.

SPEAKER_02 40:02

You got a ring, woman.

SPEAKER_00 40:03

Do you really want to go there?

SPEAKER_02 40:05

I got a lovely ring woman.

SPEAKER_00 40:06

You want to go there? No, you do not want to go there right now. So how's your recliner you got for your birthday?

SPEAKER_02 40:14

Not at by the dogs.

SPEAKER_00 40:16

At by the dogs. At by the dogs. Not eaten. Not eaten.

SPEAKER_02 40:21

No, not eaten. I don't know what that word is. It's not at. The at the couch.

SPEAKER_00 40:27

Do you know what your daughter wanted to give you for your birthday? She's like, I want to give him a book of all of his terminology I understand from him. Can I get a blank book?

SPEAKER_02 40:35

Oh, she's Tomla Funny Harris.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

Don't you ever insult my child. I heard she's trying to run again for for president, by the way. Don't ever insult my child. Ever. Ever, never, ever. I'm gonna tell her you're in and Abby's is coming this week. I'm so excited. I love Abyss.

SPEAKER_02 41:01

On the podcast on Wednesdays.

SPEAKER_00 41:03

Wow. I can't believe you. I can't believe you. That hurts my heart.

SPEAKER_02 41:12

I gotta go pick her butt up.

SPEAKER_01 41:13

I know. I might forget. No, you won't.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

Your daughter will whoop your ass. No. Well, I'm gonna have this old birthday bird here spend some time with his daughter, and I wanna thank everybody for tuning in, listening in.

SPEAKER_02 41:34

That's a short episode. I'm sorry I'm hurting again, y'all.

SPEAKER_00 41:38

Yeah, he don't listen to his wife about doing stuff to make him better. Typical male.

SPEAKER_02 41:44

Yeah. Alright, good night, y'all. Thank you for listening. Unstoppable with Victoria, Michael, Stucco, and River.