Real Talk On Respect with Victoria Cuore and Michael Solomon

Somebody can be laughing with you one minute and quietly fighting shame the next and that whiplash is real. We start with our usual marriage banter (dogs, treats, and a brand-new tattoo), then slide straight into the bigger topics people dodge: weight loss, body dysmorphia, and what it feels like to step out of a 20-year comfort zone and finally wear the clothes you avoided out of fear. 

From there, we talk about respect in public and why “checking someone out” can turn into humiliating, dehumanising behaviour fast. A night out at a family restaurant turns into a lesson on how young men treat servers, why women are not “on the menu”, and what we should be teaching our kids about basic decency. 

We also share a parenting moment that surprised us: Monster High. What looks like a silly show becomes a powerful message about bullied kids, rejection, differences, and building a group that supports each other. That launches a bigger conversation about raising confident kids, telling them the truth about their worth, and creating a home that feels safe. 

Then we get honest about advocacy and recovery after spinal surgery, including the reality of chronic pain, limitations, and how exhausting it is when people only reach out because they want something. We close with a reminder to stay humble, show up for people in the hospital, and choose kindness even when it’s easier to perform it than live it. If this hit home, subscribe, share it with a friend who needs it, and leave a review with the biggest takeaway you’re holding onto.

Transcript

Dogs, Treats, And Couple Banter

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Howdy y'all. Welcome to another episode of a contagious smile unstoppable here with Victoria and Michael. We also have our mascot, Stucco, in the room, who thinks he's freaking human.

SPEAKER_02 0:14

That's my boy.

SPEAKER_01 0:15

Because when it's time for bed, he climbs up in bed and takes up one, if not two, entire pillars.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

He has his own pillows in our bed.

SPEAKER_01 0:24

And he's getting fat.

SPEAKER_03 0:25

He's not getting fat.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

I'm looking at a bowl and a bag of treats right up here in the office.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

Oh, hold the fork, George. He ha we have four dogs. And when they go out, they come up here to mommy and they give me hugs and they give me love and I give them one little cookie each. And then those are their toothbrushes. They get one a day.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

That big thing is a toothbrush.

SPEAKER_03 0:49

Do you want me to talk about big things?

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Shut up.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

That's really rude to say to your wife.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

How do you think I feel you blasted out on the air?

SPEAKER_03 0:55

You're married.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 0:57

Most women like that be bragging.

SPEAKER_01 1:00

Well.

SPEAKER_03 1:02

Now what you got?

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Nothing.

The New Tattoo And Gun Safety

SPEAKER_03 1:05

That's what I thought. So you got a new piece of art on you.

SPEAKER_01 1:09

I do. It's my it's my loving, respectful daughter who's in the next room next door. Her and I would go out shooting a lot. We teach our kids. We we teach them how to properly use a firearm, how to safely use it, and respect it. So we go out to the gun range quite a bit.

SPEAKER_03 1:32

Oh Cartman. What was Cartman on?

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Cartman? Yeah. I have no clue.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

It's ah, what was it? Alexa, what cartoon was Cartman on?

SPEAKER_02 1:46

Eric Cartman is a character on the animated sitcom, South Park.

SPEAKER_03 1:50

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

Oh god, I hate South Park. I did too. I hate that thing. Oh.

SPEAKER_03 1:53

Okay, thank you. Alexa, go to sleep.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

My daughter and I go out quite often.

SPEAKER_03 1:57

Now she's your daughter.

SPEAKER_01 1:58

No, so I got a tattoo of myself and my daughter back to back holding pistolas. What? Always saying that I got your back daughter.

SPEAKER_03 2:08

But the best part is that she has the tattoo for her Carmia, which is me, on her arm in that tattoo. And I drew and created that tattoo for y'all. So it's a whole bunch of everybody.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

So it's it's a portrait of myself and my daughter.

SPEAKER_03 2:25

And it fits along great with you because this thing is. And he was such a wuss. Y'all have to check out the videos. Oh my god, first he asked for an epidural. No shit. Then he asked for numbing cream. Then he doesn't sit still. He there's videos.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Those were involuntary twitches. He gets a nerve. So thank you. Kudos goes out to Jeffrey Fratto.

SPEAKER_03 2:55

He's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Out there at Pleasure Points tattoo there in Hiram.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

He's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 3:00

Y'all can uh look him up, tell him Solomon sits you.

SPEAKER_03 3:03

Why is it gotta be you? But you know what? He says that nobody sits as good as our kid and me.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

Oh, she didn't move a month.

SPEAKER_03 3:11

She has it. She loves it. She got another tattoo for her birthday of one of her, well, her favorite puppy ever. And so she's like, I'm on my way. She wants like a ton more.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

I think she wants a full sleeve.

SPEAKER_03 3:25

No, she doesn't. She wants two full sleeves. If you don't know my kid by now, she wants both arms fully covered.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

So pleasure points out there in hire them. Ask for Jeff Fratto. He's the owner. He's the owner.

Tattoo Pain And Artist Shoutout

SPEAKER_03 3:41

Yep. So my husband is losing a lot of weight. He's lost 30.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

What was the last thing, but never leave my wife.

SPEAKER_03 3:49

Where the hell did that come from?

SPEAKER_01 3:51

Because when you lose weight, you either have a girlfriend or or you didn't lose weight 25 years ago and you had a lineup. And you think I'll be leaving you.

SPEAKER_03 4:00

You had a lineup 25 years ago and you didn't lose any weight.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

You got an eyebrow out of place.

SPEAKER_03 4:05

Lovely. But explain that to me.

SPEAKER_01 4:08

I can't.

SPEAKER_03 4:09

Okay. So how much weight have you lost?

SPEAKER_01 4:11

About 30 pounds.

Weight Loss And Body Dysmorphia

SPEAKER_03 4:12

How much more do you want to lose?

SPEAKER_01 4:14

About maybe 10. 10 to 15.

SPEAKER_03 4:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:20

And then maybe you can see my one ab.

SPEAKER_03 4:22

Oh my lord. I, if anybody knows me, knows I have severe body dysphoria. Like, and this is true. And I have hidden behind that for 20 years. And my husband will tell you, I have never owned a tank top. I don't own a pair of shorts. I don't own a mini skirt. I didn't own a dress. Nothing. I don't own these items. So it was maybe three weeks ago that I went and actually bought tank tops. And the other night, the other day, I walked downstairs while he's standing in the den in a tank top and like sweats, sort of. Kinda, yeah. And I was like, I have never done this in over 20 years. Ever. You've never seen me do this. Like it was so different for me. I'm trying to get acclimated to it.

SPEAKER_01 5:15

And then my wife rushed me to the hospital for a dislocated jaw because they hit the floor.

SPEAKER_03 5:19

That's not funny because I've had both of mine done and it's so Oh, really? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

You're gonna make this about you?

SPEAKER_03 5:24

Just for the moment.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

I was flabbergasted. I love to see my wife.

SPEAKER_03 5:29

And then what does he say to me? I think you could lose seven to ten more.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

No. Oh yes, you did. Well you did. Okay, honestly, yes.

SPEAKER_03 5:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

But you didn't force that out of me.

SPEAKER_03 5:39

I didn't force that out of me.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

I said coarse.

SPEAKER_03 5:42

I didn't course it out of you.

SPEAKER_01 5:43

No, I didn't. I didn't say coarse. Coarse.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

Caterpillar eyebrows. I throw my eyebrows. They're like caterpillars in heat. Stuff grease. That's my boy. So yes, he did. He said that. And no wife wants to hear you need to lose seven or ten pounds.

SPEAKER_01 6:00

How many times did you ask me? Be honest. How many, how many more pounds do I gotta lose? I I gotta I I'm almost at my goal weight. My goal weight is seven more pounds. That's goal weight to lose. So what did I say? Seven. Does that make you happy? No. If I said zero, would it make you happy? No.

SPEAKER_03 6:16

You tell me my bedunka donk had a badunkadonk.

SPEAKER_01 6:18

You had a badunkadonk.

SPEAKER_03 6:19

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

Okay.

unknown 6:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 6:21

You just got a donk.

SPEAKER_03 6:23

No, I have a dunk.

SPEAKER_01 6:28

My wife's gorgeous.

SPEAKER_03 6:31

I mean, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Damn right.

SPEAKER_03 6:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:37

So can I just say we went out for dinner and a group of, I would say, 18, 17 to 20 year

When Women Get Treated Like Meat

SPEAKER_03 6:45

old young whippersnapper boys.

SPEAKER_01 6:48

I've I've put a little bit older.

SPEAKER_03 6:49

Yeah. Came into this establishment and the waitress comes up and says, You guys can sit wherever you want. And they did like, I don't even know how I can say this on air because it was so disgusting. I was humiliated. Because they they looked at the the server.

SPEAKER_01 7:06

We were not in Hooters.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

No. Hooters is all closed down, which I'm glad because what a sexist restaurant. They need to open a magic mic chain then. I'm just saying. Anyway, so and the girls feel me. They know. They're like, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:20

I bet they'll feel you.

SPEAKER_03 7:21

That's a whole new six pack right there. So, anyway, these lads come in and they are staring, all of them. One of them's grabbing their junk and like relocating it. And this is a family establishment. And the others are looking at her. If you've ever been to Texas Roadhouse, right? This is the only way I can say it. If you've ever been to Texas Roadhouse and the hostess comes to see you, she says, Hey, would you like to pick out a piece of meat from the meat counter? And you're like, No, thank you. Well, they were checking out this poor waitress, like they were picking out a piece of meat up and down, front and back. It was so just disgusting. We are not pieces of meat, right? And that's so rude and disgusting. And they're like looking up and down and checking out all of them. And y'all ain't nothing to write home about. These seven, you know, are walking in there, picking their butts, moving their junk. I mean, if if I had a son of that age who walked into a restaurant and started to having eye candy sex with these hosts, we would have a come to Jesus very quickly because that's so disrespectful. It's so rude and disrespectful. You know, be a young man, be a gentleman, and don't act like crap. Like, you know, it was just rude. You're in a family restaurant, there were kids everywhere, and they're poking at each other. Uh oh, look at that, look at that, look at that, look at that boo short. You know, oh my god. They're not on the menu. The hostess and servers are not on the menu, so get it in check. I'm just saying it's rude, it's too it's rude and disrespectful.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

Speaking of hostess, we love ours out yonder. Kylie.

SPEAKER_03 9:07

She's not a hostess, she's a server.

SPEAKER_01 9:10

Server uh no wait, she was a cook the other day.

SPEAKER_03 9:14

Okay, well, that's all that's why I'm worshiping her. Yes. No, she does. But I'm just saying, treat us, you know what? If they have daughters down the road and they they see something done to their kid like that, you know, I hope they have a deja vu moment. That's all I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

I'm sure they will.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

I'm sure they won't.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

I'm sure they will. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 9:36

Do you ever have deja vu moments when you're like, oh, I looked at them like a buffet line?

SPEAKER_01 9:40

No, but I got girls looking at my daughter.

SPEAKER_03 9:42

Girls and boys check out my daughter. I understand that. But I'm just saying, yeah, I mean, and don't you feel bad that you used to look at us like pieces of meat? Because you used to.

SPEAKER_01 9:54

Yes, but I still look at you like that.

SPEAKER_03 9:58

I'm going straight vegan. Like I'm serious.

SPEAKER_01 10:01

I go vegan too.

SPEAKER_03 10:02

You're gonna go without me?

SPEAKER_01 10:05

Well, we'll call it tofu.

SPEAKER_03 10:09

You're disgusting. You're so nasty.

SPEAKER_01 10:12

Well, wait till later.

SPEAKER_03 10:15

So with that being said, this is a family show. No, it's not. It really isn't. It's really not.

New Platform Plans And Workload

SPEAKER_01 10:28

What so we still y'all we still got a lot of things in the works. My wife is working her hand off and just don't you wish. No, I like this hand.

SPEAKER_02 10:40

Not what I was referring to.

SPEAKER_01 10:42

She's she's been putting a lot of hours up here on I work like this every day. Several websites, several things. She's got multiple things in the works. So we have cut back on Mighty Networks, the Academy.

SPEAKER_03 10:55

No, we're gonna we no. We have found a much better platform, and so we are transferring it to our new site. So it's still there right now, it's still there, but it will be getting a new home here shortly. I can only do so much.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

Yeah, yeah. And I can do so little.

SPEAKER_03 11:16

Oh my lord.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

I cut the grass today.

SPEAKER_03 11:19

Oh, I have to ask because this is fantastic.

Monster High And Raising Confident Kids

SPEAKER_03 11:21

So our daughter Faye says, Dad, I have the greatest idea. I think you should sit down and watch Monster High with me.

SPEAKER_01 11:30

Oh Lord, didn't you have to bring that up?

SPEAKER_03 11:32

I did. And if you don't know what it is, Alexa, play the theme song for Monster High.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

Oh, we have a movie together Monster High Flight song by Monster High and Matter on Amazon.

SPEAKER_02 11:43

No, routine.

SPEAKER_01 11:44

No. Let's not play that Monster High. No.

SPEAKER_02 11:48

Hold on.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

I'm gonna cut it off. Nobody wants to hear this. Unless you're 13.

SPEAKER_03 11:56

Alexa, stop. So you are now signed up to watch every season, every movie, every episode. God bless you. I've already done it. It's now your turn.

SPEAKER_01 12:07

And if you are a dad and you agree to this and not knowing what you're doing.

SPEAKER_03 12:12

No, but wait, hold on, now stop. Because here's the thing. I think for you at first, no, hold on. At first, when I first saw these individual characters, I was like, what a bunch of hoochies. Because they are wearing things you find on a pole, right? The shoes, the clothes, you bend over and uh chew everything's coming up. Everything, right? I've always told Faith, raise your hand, touch your toes. If anything shows, go change your clothes. Like that is the little saying I've always told her from day one. Okay, raise your hands up, touch your toes. If anything shows, go change those clothes. Okay. If they put their hands up, it's gonna go up like a necklace. Okay. But she says to me when she's very little, Mom, I want you to watch Monster High. And I'm like, what did I do to you? And she's like, No, mom, I want you to watch it. And I was like, why? And she goes, Because everybody there has been rejected and not appreciated, liked, or respected in school and bullied. So they made their own group and they support each other and help others. And everybody is different. They have physical differences, they have mental differences, they have, you know, any and everything in between. And when your daughter, who has overcome everything that ours has, says that to you, you sit down, you eat crow, and you're watching, right? And so I have watched everyone, I have seen every episode, I have seen she had the whole collection back in the day until her narcissistic grandmother decided to throw them out because that's a whole different story. And the whole works, right? And I used to have dreams of that theme song. And I would have Frankie Stein, Frank, Frankie Stein, like in my dreams, right? And she said to me one day, I want shoes like that. I'm like, conversation spinach never happened. Like it'll never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever happen. And she goes, Have you ever had shoes like that? And I was like, Yes, but I threw them in the dumpster. I never had them on, I never wore them, and they were a gift. I didn't purchase them, I didn't spend money on them. It was a gift, and they went into a dumpster. Never on my leg did they go. Period. And so it's so important that every day you tell your kids how beautiful they are, how intelligent they are. You know, you see things different, everybody does. And to explain that to them where they feel valued, they feel heard and loved and accepted and appreciated is so imperative for their own growth, not just physically, but mentally as well. Why are you grabbing your stomach? How many of the banana muffins I made did you eat?

SPEAKER_01 14:44

I didn't eat none.

SPEAKER_03 14:45

Any I didn't eat none.

SPEAKER_01 14:48

You heard I corrected myself because we're on air. No, I didn't want to speak redneck.

SPEAKER_03 14:51

You all speaking of redneck, let's talk about the redneck collection for stronger than a mountain.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

Well, let's talk. Okay. Because I want some watermelon. What? I want some watermelon. I'm hungry. You're always hungry. Instead of eating a hamburger here at nine o'clock at night, because I cooked four of them for dinner.

SPEAKER_03 15:12

Make doubles. Like make a double hamburger.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

No, I'm good losing weight.

SPEAKER_03 15:16

You need to eat because of the protein.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Redneck category for our store under Stronger Than a

Kindness, Check-Ins, And Real Friendship

SPEAKER_01 15:25

Mountain.

SPEAKER_03 15:25

Yes, there's so many hilarious.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

They're hilarious. Jeff better call us and and ask for the copyright.

SPEAKER_03 15:33

You know, our daughter and I had brunch with him, and he is stand-up.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

I used to go to church together or something.

SPEAKER_03 15:39

No, he used to do Bible study where we would go, and he came in and and it was hilarious. Faith at her finest was like, I say you're saying all the time. And he goes, You do? And what word? And she said, Yes. And he said, Well, tell it to me. And he was the nicest guy. And so she said, Here's your sign. And he goes, That's not mine. And she goes, Oh. And she goes, Okay, tell me a joke. And he did. And she goes, People come from all over the world to see you. And he said, Yes. And she goes, and they pay you. And he said, Yes. And she goes, but you're not funny. And he started laughing. And so she was like, he goes, okay, you give me one of your jokes. And she did. And he cracked up. And she's like, if you use that, you have to pay me. Like it was just hilarious. And then he said, you know, tell me, I love the hair, da da da. And she's like, I'm about to go in for surgery. And he goes, Well, can I check on you after your surgery? And he did. Like it was he was really, really nice. But yet she she tried to say he was Bill Ingbald, which was pretty ironically funny. You know.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Yeah. Yeah. So you know that you just brought up a great example. Here's here's a genuine guy who took time out to call and check up on.

SPEAKER_03 16:53

He didn't call, we saw him in person, and she took pictures with him.

SPEAKER_01 16:56

To check up on faith. Someone that he he became a friend with at that time.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

A lot of celebrities are stuck up snobby, and it's all about them, but they don't remember where they came from. They don't remember how they got to where they are.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

And you've you have checked up on Muck Sticky and checked up on Muck Sticky almost daily. How his mom's doing.

SPEAKER_03 17:20

Yes, and he is doing so much better. I've checked on him and his sister Cookie, who is adorable, like almost daily. And he's, you know, she's had a little slip-up and then she's back, and now she's making sentences and she's home, which is amazing. But she's got, you know, recovery and therapy, physical therapy, speech therapy, and stuff to go through. And yeah, I mean, I offered advocating services to him, whatever he needed, just to let him know, you know, and it didn't matter. And I offered to talk to his sister however I could to help, because I mean, I don't care who you are, I don't care what your bank account holds in it. When you're going through something like that about someone you love, none of that matters. The bank account, you know, dollar figure doesn't matter. Your fame and fortune doesn't matter, who you are, your celebrity, it doesn't matter. You know, none of those things matter. What matters is you're in a position that you're not accustomed to, thank God, and you don't know what to do and you're lost. And some people need to check their attitudes and check all that at the door because some people are like, I'm a celebrity, don't you know who I am? They need to get, you know, whatever. No, check it at the door because this is you or your loved one, family member, whatever the case may be. They are in a very scary situation, they don't know what's going on some of the time. You're you don't know what's going on some of the time, you don't know how to advocate for what you need. Your loved ones, you're carrying all of this, and you it's an unfamiliar territory, right? So you need to kind of respect the process of it, and nobody should ever have to be accustomed to it. You know, you just shouldn't because it's a horrible thing. And I've said this a million times. I don't care if it's your first surgery or your 130th surgery like I've had, it doesn't make it any easier. Surgery is surgery, period. I mean, and it doesn't get any easier. In fact, it gets harder, I think, as you go on because how much can a human body take, right? How much can you endure going through time and time and time again? I mean, it gets horrible. And then you you think, oh, surgery's great, they're done, they're in recovery, they're going home. A couple days will be back to now. My spinal surgery was seven weeks ago, six weeks ago. And I still like we went bowling and I still can't pick up a bowling ball yet. They haven't like said, I mean, you're not able to go more than five pounds, right? And so I'm trying to do this. And earlier today, I was checking, I was checking this is stupid. People are gonna say, Oh my god, that's ridiculous. But you take these things

Surgery Recovery And The Back Remote

SPEAKER_03 19:46

for granted. I have, and I'm being serious, I have a remote control for my back, right? And my husband will say that this is true. This right, this is true.

SPEAKER_00 19:55

This is true.

SPEAKER_03 19:56

I have a remote control for my back. So I checked mail. All right, yeah. I checked it earlier to see the strength and battery power percentage on my back. Well, there's a bunch of different buttons on there, and my goofy tail sneezed and hit a button while I was checking it, and it upped the program, and I didn't realize it, and I turned it off. And all of a sudden, my arm, maybe I don't know, half an hour later or so. I don't know, half an hour later or so, my amputated limb is like itching from the inside, and I'm being electrocuted at a higher voltage, and it's very uncomfortable. And I really just want to be like, what is going on here? Like it's really heavy, and it's pens and needles, and it feels like it's on dry ice, and it feels like it's contained within a cast and all of the things. And so I was like, I don't know what's going on. It's wonky. I'm like, did the dogs get a hold of something and they're playing with me? This isn't funny. I go in there and I get the remote, and I see that I went from like one extreme of a program to, you know, there there is tiers on each program. So my remote has seven programs, and each program has like eight in it, so or five in it, whatever it is. So there ends up being like 35 programs you can choose from in your remote, right? And somehow when I sneeze and you hit the button, it just went so that's what happened. And so I had to bring it back down. So it had to come back down and you know, take me on defrost. And those are things people take for granted because you don't think about it. I mean, it's a simple sneeze. The next thing you know, I'm like on dry ice in a cast with pins and needles sticking in there, and it's not a comfortable feeling. You know, I mean, people take that for granted. Like getting dressed is a whole new way. Like, you have to learn how to get dressed differently. You try on clothes, it's different. I still can't put my hands over my head completely yet. And you have to learn how to do these things, and it's so frustrating. But it doesn't help to bitch and complain about it because you still gotta do it.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

So unless you ask your husband come in and help. And I'll help you get undressed or dressed anytime you want.

SPEAKER_03 22:11

You walked into the bathroom when I was in a sports bra and jogging pants.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

And I tried to close the door.

SPEAKER_03 22:18

With you on the inside of it with me?

SPEAKER_01 22:20

Of course.

SPEAKER_03 22:21

No. No.

SPEAKER_01 22:23

Nope.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

I don't think so.

One-Sided People And Listening Fatigue

SPEAKER_01 22:27

So to jump back a little bit, my wife and I talk about this quite often. Both examples that I use. If you won't carry on. You know. Jeff caught up or or checked up on Faith and didn't ask anything but how she's doing. Right? Didn't want anything for himself. And then my wife checks up with Monk Sticky and doesn't want anything from Monk or his mom or his sister, other than the fact, you know, how how are they doing? My wife has actually got a pair of scissors in her hand and she's cutting my eyebrows over the trash can. As I'm job jacking.

SPEAKER_03 23:13

I can't stand your long eyebrows. They gotta get trimmed.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

But how often are we sitting here, or my wife's sitting here?

SPEAKER_03 23:21

Need a reader on her dunk.

SPEAKER_01 23:24

And she gets emails, messages, phone calls, texts, Zoom complaints. And what what is it about? Is it about my wife? Is it about the company? Is it about faith? No. It's all about me. And when I say me, I don't mean me. I mean them, me. It's all about me. Hey, I know you just went through surgery, but listen about me. I had a hangnail. I had a toenail. I I need um dog. Ow! There's no blood going out. I didn't even. You're supposed to cut. Don't point that in my eyeball. I didn't point at your eyeball or the third ball.

SPEAKER_03 24:05

Stop it. I'm gonna get the other thing out in a minute.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

Whoa, keep it, PG.

SPEAKER_03 24:10

Okay, keep going. Keep talking. So this looks so much better. But I need the thing in the G.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

Y'all, my wife is literally cutting my eyebrows with all hairs.

SPEAKER_03 24:22

Yeah. Because your eyebrows look like caterpillars are rolling around in the hay having sex.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Not itty bitty tiny scissors that you clip your nose in.

SPEAKER_03 24:29

No, these were actually from my paramedic bag that cut cloth.

SPEAKER_01 24:34

Nice.

SPEAKER_03 24:34

But I didn't even nick you. I did it one-handed. But I do need to get the thing in and like fix it up a little bit.

SPEAKER_01 24:41

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 24:41

Okay. But it looks so much better. At least you look human now.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

So now that I'm human, you have my here's my wine.

SPEAKER_03 24:48

No, you're saying like so many people.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

Well, don't you get tired of that shit?

SPEAKER_03 24:52

It happens daily.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

Daily.

SPEAKER_03 24:54

And then I have people that'll be like, Oh, I had the worst day. Let me tell you about it. Blah blah blah. And my husband will tell you, whenever I talk to anybody, first thing, how's the family? How are you?

SPEAKER_01 25:02

Right. Or or go to the hospital for her surgery. Here's a box of cookies. Here's some donuts or whatever. What? Looks so much better. I look so much better. Your eyebrows. I'm faking.

SPEAKER_03 25:12

Anyway, yes, I go into surgery and I'm like, you know, here's cookies. Here's whatever. And I have people that are like, I know you just had surgery, but I need you to do this. I need you to do that. You need to do this. You know, whatever. And you know, it's like I made the mistake of saying to somebody one day, I was like, oh my God, I feel like I'm drowning. I have so much going on. I'm in so much pain. It takes me an hour to get up and sit up because my head feels like it's 200 pounds. Oh, well, you're only two days out, but let me tell you about this. So I got this phone call from a guy I'm talking on the internet on the internet with from a different country or you know, whatever. And I'm like, you haven't even met this guy. You don't know this guy, you don't know his name, blah, blah, blah, whatever the case may be. Or, hey, I had somebody reach out to me on social media about this. What do you think about this? Can I send it to you? Can you read it? And I'm like, you know, and people are how long is it gonna take you to be fully recovered from surgery? When are you gonna be able to do this? When are you gonna be able to do that? Right. And it's always one-sided. And I always in that MOMO that says, okay, let me help you, let me fix it, let me do whatever.

SPEAKER_01 26:12

Well, it's because you got a bigger at heart.

SPEAKER_03 26:15

But it's always, you know, one way. And when I know, like if I don't know something, I'll be the first to say, hey, I don't want to give you the wrong information because I don't have a clue about this. But if I know it and I know how to make it work, and I'm trying to tell you, hey, get out of your own way. I can do this. You gotta let me do this, but you gotta listen to what I'm trying to tell you, then step aside if you want the results. If not, and you want to be in your own way, then don't bitch about failure.

SPEAKER_00 26:49

That kind of sounds very familiar here very recently.

SPEAKER_03 26:55

Well, there's a few female individuals I'm working with that are going through that here as well. And you know, I know the potential and I see such growth, but why ask if you're not listening? That's kind of my my question.

SPEAKER_01 27:13

Right.

SPEAKER_03 27:15

Why ask if you don't want to listen?

No Contact And The Family Mask

SPEAKER_03 27:18

And I had someone reach out to me and say, I listened to your podcast and I want to say how much it resonates with me when you were talking with your husband about, you know, both of you guys were talking about how so many people say, How could you cut your parents off cold turkey? How could you do this? And when y'all said, Why don't you ask how they could do it to their kid? Because at the end of the day, we're still their child, right? We might be someone else's parents, but we're still their child. And for us to feel the need to go no contact so that we can maintain our composure and stop the cycle of generational trauma and can be of a healthy relationship for not just ourselves, but our immediate family. And they said this means so much because so many people are so quick to say, Oh, you cut them off. How could you do that after everything they've done to you? That's just it. After everything they've done to you. And if you're not behind those four walls because it's not a home, it's a house, or it's a sentencing, really, you can't say because that mask, when you open that door, it's 365 days a year of Halloween. It really is. It's 365 of Halloween because you open that door and you're gonna get the Halloween mask. When that door shuts, they hang it up. And that's what it is, because they're more concerned about the pronoun of what everybody else thinks, shush, outside of the house than they do about the people inside of the house. And you know what? Five years, whatever down the road, they're not talking to those people anymore. They don't know those people anymore. But it's literally like the perception of, you know, oh, like, you know, and I say this and I think this is hilarious, you know, I didn't know this growing up, but in order to be Jewish, from my understanding, in order to be Jewish, your mom has to be Jewish at the time of your birth, or you have to convert to Judaism, right? That's how it works. I'm born again multiple times. I've also done a giving back service for our daughter, and I have done a baptism with my daughter. Um, and then I also did another born-again service with her. And so, like my sperm donor said the best gift you could ever give me is be Jewish. And I was like, I will never give up my religious beliefs for a human being on this planet because I know God has kept us here. I know God has kept us here and we're here for a purpose. And I will not preach religion or push religion on anybody. So one day he told Faith, you know, the best gift you could give me is be Jewish. And she's like, No. And so the reason I'm telling you this is, and he celebrates Christmas, which is the hoo-haw of all things. But the perception of somebody from up north that is Jewish is money and power, right? The perception is like you think of the Godfather or you think of the Sopranos, or you know, anybody that's up north, you know, you think of them and you think, oh, they have the perception of power and money kind of thing. So one of the very few windows where we were actually speaking to them, we were walking around Costco, and my sperm donor is walking around doing his thing on the phone as always, and he is in the holiday section. And Faith, without missing a beat, finds him and says, Mom, let's go this way. Okay, so I walk down there and she sees him, and he's talking to a woman. And she looks over and and she had a nickname for him that I'm I'm not gonna use on air. And she was like, Why are you over here? And he goes, Well, I'm looking at this beautiful Christmas tree. And without missing a beat, Faith goes, but you're Jewish. And he was trying to talk to some woman, you know, and and be all like, whatever, whatever about that. And then she looks over and goes, Casablanca, you are not, or Casanova, you are not. And he just looked at her. And I mean, she would call it fast. Like she let him know, you know, that that's but the the reason I tell this is because people that are that way, you know, would rather go out and talk to a stranger and be like, oh, I have this in my whatever, whatever six-figure RV, or I have this in my eight-car garage, or my nine-car with the lifts, or you know, whatever the case may be. And it's like, does it keep you warm at night? That's my rebuttal. Does it give you a warming night? Because I don't care how many Benjamin Franklins you have, it's not going to make a blanket of love. It's not going to make a warmth of love and circles that can put their arms around you and hold you and be there and hold your hand. And, you know, if I'm so honored because my family is there 24-7.

Hospital Loneliness And Showing Up

SPEAKER_03 31:56

We are there for each other without question. When I was told I had to be admitted into the hospital with the spinal surgery because they were worried about being quadriplegic. My husband and daughter were like, What? And so they did what I've always done. Neither one of them have ever seen me admitted into a hospital. I've never stayed overnight in a hospital ever in my daughter's life. And Faith, bless her freaking heart, slept in one of the most uncomfortable looking chairs. And every time I looked at her, she was just right there with me, as my husband was. And I would go and I'm laying there and I'm thinking of all the times that she begged her grandfather to spend the night. And his answer was, I'm not giving up my bed. You know, and I slept in the hospital bed with her, whether it was a that big huge metal crib where I contorted myself in or the regular hospital bed. I stayed in that bed with her. I didn't leave the room. And for someone to be like, I'm not giving up my bed, or I'm not giving up this or that, or you know, whatever, that's awful, especially for a kid, because for a kid to be in a hospital, you know, we're talking months and months, it is a whole new level of boring. And it's so scary because the unknown is scary, right? And for when I was admitted, I was scared because I kept saying I don't want my family to be here, and I begged them to go home and they wouldn't do it. They they absolutely wouldn't do it. And then I got frustrated because now I knew exactly how I've been. Like I got I got a glimpse of deja vu. But when you have someone who doesn't care, like because before I had faith, and before you and I got back together, I was in the hospital just one incident alone for weeks alone, right? In labor, and nothing they could do could stop the contractions. She was so early, you know, she was tiny. I had a huge blood clot that they couldn't put a filter in because I was pregnant. If that filter moved, I would have died from a pulmonary embolism instantly, right? Because of how big it was. There was nothing. They were doing heparin and lobinox injections in my back, alternating. And I'm sitting there, not even looking like a person, because my face is bashed in, my jaw is bashed in, my nose is broken, my shoulder is broken, my foot's broken. All of these things are broken. And then they would come in and say, we really need to set that, but we can't right now, because if we do, we could risk you know, the blood clot, the DBT. So we can't right now. So I'm sitting there with like my jaw all the way over one side, black eyes, you name it, and I'm there by myself. And it was the scariest time in my life. And you're there all alone. You have no one. And if you have a loved one and they are in the hospital, be by their side because God forbid the day comes when you are by yourself in that hospital. Trust me, you're gonna wish you had someone there. Just being in there with you. It's it just makes the whole thing not tolerable because none of it is, but a little easier.

SPEAKER_01 34:57

Yeah. I want to give a change of subject here.

Celebrity Ego And Being Humble

SPEAKER_01 35:00

I want to give a shout out to a very great guy out there at Costco.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Kyle!

SPEAKER_01 35:07

Kyle.

SPEAKER_02 35:08

I love Kyle.

SPEAKER_01 35:09

Our buddy Kyle. I know you listen, Kyle. Hey man, how you doing, man?

SPEAKER_03 35:14

He's amazing. He's amazing. I am not gonna tell, like, he and I have done a lot of talking, and I'm not gonna share his story or anything, but I think the world of him. And when I get to see him, and he runs up and he, you know, gives me a hug, and it is this the sweetest thing ever. And he just lights up your day. He really does. And then he remembered, you know, about faith, and he was like, She is so like she is such a badass, and she's amazing. And, you know, he's like, I listen to all of hers and all of y'all's, and I love it, love it, love it. And and it was just it's so nice, you know. And the thing is, is I walk into Costco, or you know, there's been places people like I recognize her, or people come up, you know, at the grocery store or whatever. And I don't be the first, you know, and I realize this because people have said to me, Do you know what you say to me the first time? And I didn't realize this, but like I've had people say, you walk up to me and they're like, I recognize you, or I know your voice, or I know this, or I know that. And the very first thing I say, people tell me this all the time is how can I help you? You know, what do you need I can help with? Because if they know who I am, then it's because they're in a situation somehow of what I advocate for. And if that's the case, how can I help? What do you need? Like, I don't, you know, I'm not popular or famous or any of that because of what I've done. I am where I am because of who I help. And that's a huge difference. I will never walk around like, oh, I have my own IMDB or, you know, whatever. And that's out there, but you know, I don't walk around and preach about it. The thing is, is that I look at it not a way of showing, you know, where all we are and the followers and all of that. It's to me, I look at it as absolutely another avenue for you to find if you need it because you need help. And here we are. That's how I see it, and that makes a huge difference because they say to people all the time, like, you know, I hear all the time, like these celebrities are so rude. If you walk up to them, they'll poo-poo you away and want nothing to do with you. And and it's like, you know, why?

SPEAKER_02 37:18

Right, why?

SPEAKER_03 37:19

You know, some people wait their whole life to meet one famous person. One, and you can't take 30 seconds to take a picture or you know, whatever. I saw a video, and the only reason I'm gonna mention this is because I did actually see this video. I actually saw, I couldn't believe when I heard about it, J Lo, Jennifer Lopez, was coming out of a store, right? And there was paparazzi out there, and people have to go look at this. And she told everybody leaving the store, hurry up so she can make an exit, a grand exit, all alone without having anybody else in the picture. I was like, no, no, no, yes, it was. And there's a mom carrying her child out, and she's laughing profusely as she's like being told, go, go, go, because she's got to come out. And the doors are open, they're holding the doors open, and you see J-Lo like standing there waiting for everybody else to get out of her limelight light, right? And then she comes walking out from the doors to her vehicle that's open for her, right there. They have the driver opening her car door so she can be wished away, and she's you know, waving and whatever, and goes from the doors of the store into the car and drives off. But she poo-pooed everybody else out so that they wouldn't be in the shadow of her photos. And it's like, are you shitting me? Now, what if back in the day when I had you know Faith and she had her trach and all the other things, and I had 15 pieces of equipment because of her feeding tube and her trach and all those things. I can't park on the curb to load everything. But if you're a J-Lo, you can have you can sit there all day long because you're in the store spending all your millions and millions of dollars. You know, that's ridiculous. Like there's so many things wrong with this world, it's it's unheard of. I'm done because that's just it's just not right. It's not right. And you think about it. What if that mom carrying that child used some of her money to pay for a movie ticket to see J Lo's movie or buy her soundtrack or you know, whatever? And part of your, you know, $500 daily moisturizing cream came from her, this woman and child. And they don't think about stuff like that, you know, but then they go on and they're like, Oh, this is my beauty care routine, this is what I do, and then you go look at it. It's like $500 for a two-ounce thing of shit. And it's you know, stupid, it's just dumb. Whatever. People need to be humbled. That Jenny from the block, like, I know who I am, I know where I came from. Yeah, okay. Bullshit. That's a butt. Whatever. Okay, I'm done.

SPEAKER_01 39:45

Are you sure?

SPEAKER_03 39:46

I am because that shit just annoys me. Like that really it just annoys me to okay.

SPEAKER_01 39:53

Are you done?

SPEAKER_03 39:54

Yeah, because if I start talking about Mariah Carey, I'll I'll never stop. I I just won't.

SPEAKER_01 39:58

Y'all see, I get quiet at this time. But she's on this tangent.

SPEAKER_03 40:02

I'll hire someone to change the size of their outfits. And then who has someone that they pay just so that their clothes don't touch the ground while they're walking?

SPEAKER_01 40:11

I think we should wrap this one up. You are on the roll.

SPEAKER_03 40:16

Yeah, I need to like eat some watermelon with your husband. I hate watermelon. I don't like watermelon.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

Who in the world hates watermelon?

SPEAKER_03 40:23

I do.

SPEAKER_01 40:24

You're not from Earth, are you?

SPEAKER_03 40:27

No, not the way I work.

SPEAKER_01 40:29

That's

Emails, Stucco’s Trick, And Goodbye

SPEAKER_01 40:30

true.

SPEAKER_03 40:30

If I could I went to work in a 40-hour day or 40-hour week, I'd be done in two, three days. Like it just I'd be done in two days. Seriously. Because I would be like, I don't even know how people complain of a 40-hour work week. Because I do, I mean, think about it. If I'm averaging, let's look at the average oh my phone is off. So I mean, I work stupid hours. I mean, like, think about it. If I'm doing on average, let's say I'm doing about over a hundred hours a week every week.

SPEAKER_01 41:02

Yeah. That sounds about right.

SPEAKER_03 41:06

I mean, I get up because my butt gets numbed, and then I go get some more tea. Or I go to the bathroom. But I try to get up every hour or so just to walk.

SPEAKER_01 41:15

So y'all should flood her email with get off your duff. I have your dump.

SPEAKER_03 41:20

Okay, before you go any further, and I just want you to tell me the number. Put your little glasses on and tell me the number right here.

SPEAKER_01 41:27

You're saying I'm old.

SPEAKER_03 41:28

Right here. How many I have in this email?

SPEAKER_01 41:31

Four nine two one.

SPEAKER_03 41:33

So how many is that?

SPEAKER_01 41:34

It's ninety-four thousand. Thank you. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 41:39

Emails. It's just in one email. And the other one I have over 7,000, and I do go through them.

SPEAKER_01 41:44

I need to get like a couple thousand a day.

SPEAKER_03 41:47

And I do my best to answer them the best that I can. Because I don't have an assistant.

SPEAKER_01 41:53

I'm your bitch.

SPEAKER_03 41:54

You don't assist me in my emails.

SPEAKER_01 41:57

Not your emails.

SPEAKER_03 41:58

No.

SPEAKER_01 41:58

I know all your secrets then.

SPEAKER_03 42:00

I don't have any secrets. So do you get my book?

SPEAKER_01 42:03

Stucco says it's time to go. I need to go out.

SPEAKER_03 42:05

No, Stucco says I love my mommy. Oh, you have to tell him what Stucco did with the Elvis. It's so cute. Explain this. It's so cute.

SPEAKER_01 42:12

Move.

SPEAKER_03 42:12

Move. Come on. Tell him real quick and then we'll wrap up. It's so cute. So my wife taught my dog.

SPEAKER_01 42:19

My lovely wife has taught our dog Stucco to bear his teeth.

SPEAKER_03 42:26

Like Elvis. See if I can get him and do it right.

SPEAKER_01 42:28

I I don't remember Elvis bearing his teeth.

SPEAKER_03 42:31

He's doing the the trick. What? Come here, Stucco. Watch. Come here. Ready? Elvis. No, here. They can't see this. No, but you can. Watch. Elvis. No.

SPEAKER_01 42:42

So he curls up his lips and bears his teeth.

SPEAKER_02 42:47

Do it again.

SPEAKER_01 42:49

Give him a trick.

SPEAKER_02 42:50

So cute.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

So dumb.

SPEAKER_02 42:52

It is not dumb. It's cute.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

I said it is so cool.

SPEAKER_02 42:55

That's not what you said. He also high-fives. He paused. Huh?

SPEAKER_01 42:59

Don't rewind it.

SPEAKER_02 43:00

I'm not gonna rewind it.

SPEAKER_01 43:02

So thanks, Kyle. We'll see you uh real soon out there, Kyle. Wherever.

SPEAKER_03 43:07

Who? Kyle.

SPEAKER_01 43:09

I said Kyle.

SPEAKER_03 43:09

If you have hair in your ears, you can turn it out.

SPEAKER_01 43:11

I didn't know if I was supposed to say Costello or not.

SPEAKER_03 43:12

You already said it!

SPEAKER_01 43:14

I I slipped up.

SPEAKER_03 43:15

Which one? So don't.

SPEAKER_01 43:16

Okay, I won't. And don't forget uh Pleasure Points Tattoo by Jeff Fado. Out there in Harum, Georgia.

SPEAKER_03 43:25

We drove all the way out there for him. I would drive.

SPEAKER_01 43:27

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 43:28

Yeah, he's worth it.

SPEAKER_01 43:29

Oh yeah. So thanks, Jeff. He probably don't listen to us. Not yet.

SPEAKER_03 43:32

He don't listen to you.

SPEAKER_01 43:34

He you think he listens to you? Well, yeah, he does. Anyway. Thank y'all for listening.

SPEAKER_03 43:39

When we walked in, what he said when I walked in the door.

SPEAKER_01 43:41

He said, girl, you're vanishing.

SPEAKER_03 43:42

I know that me all day.

SPEAKER_01 43:44

That means girl, you're losing weight.

SPEAKER_03 43:45

No, that means girl, you're looking fine. You gotta say it in the Italian way. You gotta say it Italian. That means girl, you look good.

SPEAKER_01 43:52

You're lucky I let that I love you man slide.

SPEAKER_03 43:56

I said it in a brotherly sense.

SPEAKER_01 43:58

Okay, Joe Dirt.

SPEAKER_03 44:00

What?

SPEAKER_01 44:01

Oh my.

SPEAKER_03 44:03

Oh no, you got one roster high to watch.

SPEAKER_01 44:05

You have not watched Joe Duck Dirt?

SPEAKER_03 44:08

Isn't that Tom Hanks?

SPEAKER_01 44:09

Joe Dirt.

SPEAKER_03 44:10

It's got Tom Hanks in it, right? Who's in Joe Dirt?

SPEAKER_01 44:15

Y'all, we have some educates to go to tonight.

SPEAKER_03 44:17

I don't get to watch TV. I work. Who's in Joe Dirt? Who's the actor in it?

SPEAKER_01 44:23

You know what?

SPEAKER_03 44:24

You don't even know. You don't know. Who is it?

SPEAKER_01 44:26

I'm not gonna tell you.

SPEAKER_03 44:27

Alexa, who's the actor in the movie Joe Dirt?

SPEAKER_01 44:30

I'm gonna tell you it's a shovel. David Spades. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 44:39

No clue. All right, guys. Thanks for listening.

SPEAKER_01 44:43

Thank y'all.